Nightmares

[Guest Sergei]

One of the reasons I still drink, however happy I am now, is because of nightmares. If I have at least 6-8 pints before I go to bed I find they don't occur as often. My nightmares really bother me. Often the reacurring theam of them is people shouting my previous name at me, and refering to me as female. I find these dream unbelievably traumatic! Many of them end up waking me up because I become that distressed during them. Does anybody else experience this?

I have found this article about lucid dreaming, and how it can cure nightmares.

http://jscms.jrn.columbia.edu/cns/2005-03-...s-luciddreaming

What are peoples opinions? Do you think it is something I could look into?

It's just I know that I could stop drinking as much if I stopped the nightmares. The fear of nightmares really does make me want to drink even more.

[Guest raydub]

Have you talked to someone about the nightmares, like a therapist?

Just wondering. From what I already know about lucid dreaming, i believe it would help tremendously. I dont think I have ever accomplished it.. but i dont know how hard Ive tried either

Ray

[Guest Robin/bobbi]

I'm a dreamer and it took a long while for me to be able to control my dreams.

I was taught like 5 years ago how to manlipulate my dreams. Watching the "The Matrix" help (i'm simple sorry). I had to sit throught the fear which was the hardest and then i was able to make armour in my dreams to protect me from all the bad people that were trying to hurt me. I felt bad when i finally caught one of my demons. I actually had guilt.

Ok here is a concept i will try to explain it.

Once i realize i was in a dream i had to stop trying to wake up by physical means. I am my dreams and i have no body Just thoughts and emotions.

Change the fear change the thought to change the scene.

Good luck to you i had to look at my inner most fear to get free.

[Guest Lizzy]

I'm a dreamer and it took a long while for me to be able to control my dreams.

I was taught like 5 years ago how to manlipulate my dreams. Watching the "The Matrix" help (i'm simple sorry). I had to sit throught the fear which was the hardest and then i was able to make armour in my dreams to protect me from all the bad people that were trying to hurt me. I felt bad when i finally caught one of my demons. I actually had guilt.

Ok here is a concept i will try to explain it.

Once i realize i was in a dream i had to stop trying to wake up by physical means. I am my dreams and i have no body Just thoughts and emotions.

Change the fear change the thought to change the scene.

Good luck to you i had to look at my inner most fear to get free.

i kind of do the same thing. i have a question, though. when you said you looked at your innermost fear, how did you know? how did you know you were staring your fear in the face? i know this is a vague thing, and hard to describe, but i feel i've done the same. i just don't know if i have or not.

[Guest Huff]

Hey buddy, I hear you on the nightmares thing. I get them if I'm either afraid of something (going to see my family at Christmas or my sister's wedding) or if I'm coming up to a critical point of change in my life. It was really strange, for like several months before I stopped drinking and came to terms with being trans I had the wildest, most vivid, and often violent dreams. I had no idea I was coming up on these changes in my life... it was like my psyche was preparing me somehow. Anyway, it was so bad that I would wake up in the morning and go binge eat (my primary acting out behavior), so I started sleeping over at my sponsors' (a married couple) house so that I could have someone to talk to about my dreams when I first woke up. It was really helpful because they thought dreams were cool and helped me kind of pick apart what was happening in them a little and got me talking about those things that I was so terrified of.

So, I guess what I'm saying is two things:

1. dreams, even nightmares, are good (or at least can be if you are willing to do the work to pick them apart and deal with the fears inside you)

2. it helps to have a friend, a sponsor, a therapist, or even a personal journal to go to or call or whatever right after you wake up... that way you can go to bed knowing that no matter what happens while you're sleeping, you are going to have somebody there to help you in the morning.

And, a side note to consider... the harder you push something away (the dreams with alcohol blackout), the harder it swings back and smacks you in the face (even worse dreams when you don't knock yourself out). The easier, softer way might be actually facing the beast and then doing the work (as more or less outlined above).

Anyway, that's what worked for me.

MK

[Guest Robin/bobbi]

i kind of do the same thing. i have a question, though. when you said you looked at your innermost fear, how did you know? how did you know you were staring your fear in the face? i know this is a vague thing, and hard to describe, but i feel i've done the same. i just don't know if i have or not.

Sorry for not getting back in a timely manner.

I was just left with my fears. Alcohol and my self will destroyed everything that was good in me. My soul became BLACK and i had nothing left. Even oblivion was no comfort anymore.

In the end i was sick of "ME". I was stripped bare and whipped. That was when i was able to get honest and start to change......

I didn't die either. Giggles, The next step was i needed somone to show me, by holding my hand for awhile, HOW TO LIVE.....

[Guest RainBird]

Wow that's weird! I too have fought my 'demons' in my dreams, sometimes using extreme force and violence and then waking up feeling really bad and "yucky" that I had done that.

I also have pleasent dreams where I can speak 'perfectly' female without effort, I have even gone back in time to re-visit myself in my younger years as a child where I looked genetically female.

[Guest Lizzy]

The next step was i needed somone to show me, by holding my hand for awhile, HOW TO LIVE.....

that's about where i'm at, trying to find someone to show me how to live again. not many people are willing to do that, though. i'm beginning to see how enjoyable life can be sober, and it's wonderful. thank you for your reply. it helped me make sense of things.

[Guest Sergei]

I can't say I've managed to achieve having a lucid dream yet. But I have successfully been off of alcohol for 15 days today. This is one of the longest times I have ever managed to give up for. I have only really had one nightmare since I gave up. I think the fact that I am working part time helps as well now. It helps get me into a routine of sleeping at certain times and not drinking. Also reading about lucid dreaming everynight before I sleep is very relaxing and helps even if I don't manage to actually do it.

I can't say I'll never drink again, because even now at 15 days I still miss the buzz. But I have a big exam at the end of december, so I'm trying to set that as a target. Maybe when I get there I can then set myself another target further on. I can only do it in little steps, otherwise it seems like to big of a committment.

[Guest Huff]

I have successfully been off of alcohol for 15 days today. This is one of the longest times I have ever managed to give up for.

That's huge, man. Way to go!

DON'T try and think about giving up alcohol forever and ever... that's too scary. Instead, I just try to think through what would happen if I drank today and all the good things (like feeling well and not being hung over and getting to go to the gym) that I'd miss out on today or tomorrow. Also, have you considered AA meetings? I've found it helpful when I really feel like drinking to have people who I can talk to who understand where I'm coming from.

I'm also glad to hear that the nightmares are subsiding a bit. I actually had a positive, happy dream a week or two ago... I don't think I've ever had one of those before!

MK

[Guest raydub]

Sergei.

15 days is crazy awesome. Congrats.

Definitely like MK said.. dont think too far ahead when thinking about drinking. Concentrate on the here and now. "im not going to drink today." and stick to it. it works, it really does.

ive done the AA thing.. theres a lot of help to be found there. now i go to more NA meetings, but..the ideals transfer.

Ray

[Guest Robin/bobbi]

But I have successfully been off of alcohol for 15 days today. This is one of the longest times I have ever managed to give up for... ...... It helps get me into a routine of sleeping at certain times and not drinking. Also reading about lucid dreaming everynight before I sleep is very relaxing and helps even if I don't manage to actually do it.

Congrats on 15 days!!! that's huge

Your Lucky I didn't sleep my whole first year. It could of been because i was sick and detoxing. I needed help not drinking and i needed help living not drinking. i did it in AA/NA.

[Guest Evan_J]

That is awesome, do NOT minimize 15 days. It's kind of like pennies turning into dollars. 15 days is half a month. And yeah, N/A/A/A pretty much operate on the same ideals. The beauty of each is there is nothing - no matter how much you think you have some "unique" stuff that no one there is gonna "get"- someone somewhere in recovery can't "get". Heck, look around, 3recovering addicts just responded on this thread alone.

And lucid dreaming will be a great mental discipline to undertake, its kind of like meditation in my opinion (though I haven't done it in forever). It takes you outside of yourself in an "everyday" sense, lets you feel your center, taps into the "ultimate" parts of you. Good excercise for someone in recovery.

[Guest julia_d]

15 days.. way to go. That's the hardest part over.. Still there?

I went through that too.. It's nasty but the local winos under the arches got me through by telling me I was not alone and that they also got "the horrors" when they didn't have money for drink.

Next step is re-learning how to be in an environment where alcohol is available and the norm and keeping it under control. That's not a problem is it?.. You broke the real hard hold it had.. now it's just keeping on top. Working and living in a pub finally cured me.. constantly seeing alcohol and smelling of it all the time.. takes away the need (more of this horrid stuff sticky on my hands and clothes.. ewwww) and the liking.. A bar at 7am is a rather unpleasant place.. And a bar in the morning with a hangover, lots of dirty glasses and spilled beer stinking the place up with 3 hours to get it straight and open is repulsive. hehehe..

Again.. Excellent work. As a one time bad alky (8am till unconscious every day) and a total stranger I can say I'm really proud of you and your achievement. I wish I had been as strong willed. It took me about 5 months to break my addiction.

[Guest androgynous]

I'm no expert, but I had my fair share of Alcohol as well. But I only drank in the weekends. One thing I always daid to myself: I am never to go buy Alcohol and drink it at home, because if you have it, you will take it no matter how much you stock up. So I go to the pub and drink there, get annoyed by people and go home

But I read some information -don't take my word for it- that the pineal gland in your brain reacts on any synthetic substance, like alcohol but also medication. Now, the pineal gland controls many functions, sleep, waking up etc. It is said that when you take a synthetic substance your pineal gland won't like it and shrinks back, so other gland functions take over that can cause different problems, and so your bio-rhythm can be disturbed as well. I'm not talking about 1 or 2 pints of course, because that is out of the body pretty quickly. If you have trouble sleeping, you might consult your doctor, he can subscribe melatonin which is the stuff the pineal gland produces, which is natural and let's you rock to sleep in no-time. (it's also prescribed to jet-lags)

Good luck! love & hugs from a very cold Europe!

[Guest mia 1]

Back to the nightmares and lucid dreaming. My therapist from the days of yesteryear told me yes you are in comlete control of your dreams, You are thedirector, producer and the actors. I tried it it worked, and of course it isn't 100% a;; the time but it does help tremendously. As far as the alcohol so far so great keep up the "on eday at a time' it sounds corney but really why look past today, when that's all you can control...Good Luck Sergei,,You are doing great with that cool beard and all......Mia.