Pre Surgery Panic

[Guest Anna_SF]

My surgery is in five months and I am super stressed. Did anyone experience this? I may have to push it back six months which makes me sad but. I'm not sure I'm ready. Did anyone delay theirs until they felt more confident?

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Anna,

There are many post-op transsexuals here that I am sure can help you better than I can. With that said, please understand that no one is making you do anything OK? If you are not ready, then you are not ready. Discussions with your therapist(s) and doctors and yourself (please be honest with yourself hon), will help you determine when you are ready. Having doubts and having some anxiety is very natural. Please discuss your concerns with your therapist.

Remember, you and you alone ultimately decides what is best for you

All my Love

Brenda

[Drea]

I known people who have opted to push it back because they didn't feel ready.

Surgeons have people delay for many reasons so as long as you do it soon enough in advance it shouldn't present a problem.

You may want to see your therapist before making any decisions and discuss the feelings your having. That might help clarify things.

[Paula ult]

My surgery is in five months and I am super stressed. Did anyone experience this? I may have to push it back six months which makes me sad but. I'm not sure I'm ready. Did anyone delay theirs until they felt more confident?

Anna, having doubts or being stressed is normal, i would be worried if you had none, after all this is a irreversible life changing surgery, are you stressed because you feel you are not ready, or stressed about the surgery itself, if you feel you are not ready by all means push it back or even cancel it, you should be discussing your doubts with your therapist, however if they thought you were not ready they should not have given you the letters, also your surgeon can usually tell if a person is ready or not during the consult, surgery is not for everyone, go only as far in transition as you feel comfortable going, if someone is pressuring you or urging you to have or not have the surgery, do what you feel comfortable doing, for you not them. This is major surgery 4 - 5 hours worth, most of the top surgeons do these surgeries weekly and some do multiple surgeries weekly, complications can happen with any surgery, there are risks involved, your surgeon should have gone over them.

My surgery was May 9th, and i can tell you i was stressed out for almost a year, i had no doubt that the surgery was the right thing for me it was stress as to whether i would get to the weight Dr. Mcginn wanted, if my cardiologist would sign off on the surgery, if my blood work, chest x-ray, and physical were ok, things did turn out alright in the end.

Paula

[Guest NatalieRene]

My surgery is in five months and I am super stressed. Did anyone experience this? I may have to push it back six months which makes me sad but. I'm not sure I'm ready. Did anyone delay theirs until they felt more confident?

My surgery is 35 days from now. I personally haven't had any second thoughts in regards to wanting SRS but I have been worried about the pain and recovery. I have also worried about the logistics and about the money.

What do you mean by confidence? Confidence in your decision or confidence in your ability to endure it?

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Hi Anna,

There are many post-op transsexuals here that I am sure can help you better than I can. With that said, please understand that no one is making you do anything OK? If you are not ready, then you are not ready. Discussions with your therapist(s) and doctors and yourself (please be honest with yourself hon), will help you determine when you are ready. Having doubts and having some anxiety is very natural. Please discuss your concerns with your therapist.

Remember, you and you alone ultimately decides what is best for you

All my Love

Brenda

Brenda's advice is right on, honey.

Either discuss this with your gender therapist and/or simply wait until you are ready. Many completely legitimate transsexual women fully transition, remain nonop by choice and live happy lives. My original gender therapist (Florida) and my current one (TPROP) assure me that there are many very happy nonops out there and many of them CAN afford SRS/GCS but choose not to. I'm one of them.

That choice is soley up to you.

Brenda:

Beautiful advice you gave her, hon. Thanks so much for doing so.

Peace Lacey

[Sally]

Anna,

You have been given very good advice - only you can know if this is really right for you so do talk to your therapist and see what is making you so nervous then make your decision.

If it is a lack of confidence as to whether you should have the surgery - don't.

If it is a lack of confidence in your being able to endure the recovery, then start working with your therapist as to the cause of that.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest sarah f]

Anna I am only 3 weeks away from my surgery. I get goose bumps every once in a while just thinking about how close it is but not because I am worried. It is because it is almost here and I can't wait to finally just be myself.

If you are feeling any kind of doubts you need to think long and hard if this is the right time for you. There is no reason to rush into surgery if you are not ready. There will always be time for you to have surgery. I must ask though are you afraid of the surgery itself or the fact of no turning back once you have it? To be scared of any surgery is perfectly normal. Think this over and do what is best for you.

Good Luck

[Guest NatalieRene]

My date is sneaking up fast too. I go up 28 days from now and on the 29th day it's done. Time is going at warp speed right now. I watched a sped up srs procedure on youtube and as hard as it was to watch the surgeon looked like she has done it many times and very sure of herself in completing the procedure. While I have a different surgeon I am confident that he is every bit as experienced and skilled. In a way it helped ease m fears of the surgery itself.

[Guest kelise]

I too had anxiety about the prospect of major surgery, but only about the possibility that I may not wake up from it, NEVER that I might regret having had it. To this day I have never regretted, nor considered any possibility that I might in the future. I love my body now any that is not going to change. Every time I look at my genitals now I can't help but grin ear-to-ear and squeal with delight!

Angst about pain, complications, risks, and fears about going under the knife are perfectly common, but concern about potential regret is definitely something you'll want to postpone surgery and see your therapist about. Hiding that from them will do you no good. Every post-op whose ever regretted their surgery most-likely got their letters by hiding their angst over regret from their therapists in order to get letters. Please don't become one of them.

[Guest NatalieRene]

That is so true. The standards of care will not work if you are not honest with yourself. The therapist is basing things on what you tell him/her. The therapist can't read minds. It's of major importance not to lie or omit anything regarding your feelings of how things are going. The standards of care of in place to help us. It might not seem like that up front but it is to assist us in avoiding doing something that is irreversible if it isn't the correct course of action. Don't mislead your therapist.

[Guest paddy]

I have finaly have received a dated for my Bilateral Orchidectomy, which is 26th August 2011. I am not going to proceed with SRS as it would be rather pointless to proceed any futher at my age (72), but do plan to go on HRT after my operation,( which will day surgery)

Huggs Patricia

[Guest kelise]

I am not going to proceed with SRS as it would be rather pointless to proceed any futher at my age (72),

Huggs Patricia

Taking care of your needs and desires is never pointless. Do whatever it takes to settle your mind and be happy!

[Guest Anna_SF]

Wow! Thanks every body for the kind words. I did tell my therapist. We haven't moved the date but I am working through issues. Being beaten as a child for speaking up for myself has made me an adult unable to make decisions for myself. The Grace is that I haven't carried this on and become a bully myself. So, baby steps, next is to arrange for time off. Also to inform the family I'm not attending the Holidays. They are bullies and will do their all to get me to come, as a man. Only because they "can't " lose any arguments cause that's how bullies think. And they don't change their spots.

And they don't know I've been on hrt for a year!