Living As An Androgyne

[Guest androgynous]

Yeah, I just out from the Closet and my parents took the news well. I'm going to see my new Theropist this week. I really want to grow my hair long but trim the front short, clear nailpolish, And I really want to wear turquoise Nylon and silk clothing all the time and maybe dye my hair blonde and had some mascara. I'm fearing that I'm loosing my Androgynous cuteness persay and I don't want to look like a So Called Man! I want to look like me. I've always kind of hated looking at myself in the mirror because I knew the image in the mirror was not who I felt was me, now I understand why I feel this way.

Don't worry what others think, do what you feel is best for you and everything should be okay. HANG IN THERE!

Good luck with it, you'll be fine.

Also with hair growing, maybe some useful tips:

Just let it grow and grow. Don't cut, because it will take long to grow. Cutting hair doesn't do anything for you unless you have split ends, which almost everyone gets when you reach long hair. Grow it out for a year, and you'll have around 6 or 7 inches extra hair There will be moments you want to cut it, but please don't fall for the temptation to cut, because most people will regret it afterward. (I did regret about 5 times) and cut it down. So there will be plenty of bad hair days, but that is normal when growing it out. Also, never rub your hair in a towel when wet to dry it. Almost any girl does this, but the friction you create by rubbing the towel around the hair will produce a lot of heat and creates split ends. If you want to speed up hair growth, you can take vitamins which help to nourish your hair from inside. Vitamins with Horsetail is very good, it boost growth as well does every vitamin B.

I got these tips for a famous hairdresser, put 'em to good use I'd say

[Guest Pioneer]

I find it difficult to imagine being someone that achieved a truly androgynous look, or what that might be - except maybe that I would look like that Hanson boy.

Lol I laughed so hard on that Hanson comment. I remember seeing him on TV first time and I'm like wow what a pretty looking girl..no wait..why is the band called Hansons brothers? HAha. He is surely blessed with looks. That's for sure.

[Guest mia 1]

Yesterday my therapist said "You are an androgen." Oh tell me something I don't know. I've been cross dressing since I was 15 and now I'm 64..isn't that nearly half a century?? I'm so impressed with his professional insight...Mia

[Guest Donna Jean]

Yesterday my therapist said "You are an androgen." Oh tell me something I don't know. I've been cross dressing since I was 15 and now I'm 64..isn't that nearly half a century?? I'm so impressed with his professional insight...Mia

Hey, Mia, Honey....

Don't you just LOVE paying good money to learn a secret to the universe that you already know????...LOL

And you already know that the answer is 42, so don't let him tell you that either!

Love you, Hon....

Donna Jean

[Guest Cazz333]

I find myself angry at the moment. I have just been told about the whole HBS scandal, and the prejudice of these people bothers me to no end. But what also bothers me is the way that androgyne is still seen as a physical think, and not a gender identity, and even here on these forums. I saw in the other thread that people still think of gender as such a black/white thing. And, if you are transgender, you are either a transexual (HBS) or a transgenderist (apparently someone who takes hormones and changes their appearance to gain sexual pleasure). Or you are not transgender and just a crossdresser. I am transgender, and I am not a transexual, or a transgenderist. I don't want to change my sex (not that you can, not with modern technology; all SRS is, is a cosmetic thing) nor do I derive sexual pleasure from who I am. Not even a truly complete sexchange, cromosomes and everything, would make me feel right. I'd be stuck in the same situation I am already. And I have hard enough trouble convincing people that sex=/=gender identity=/= sexual orientation, to have to convince them in addition that transgender does not have to equal transgenderist or transexual!

Ditto except I only get angry at intolerence.

It seems as though we are just saying our piece of how we 'function' in the world and what it means to be... us. Hm? Well, I suppose I'll just hop on in. I'm still a bit new to all of this vocabulary and androgyne stuff. To me, being androgyne doesn't mean I feel as though I am both genders, at all. I feel as though I am genderless when I dress in my male clothing, canceling out of the female within me, if you will. But now, when you talk about looking as though you are both genders, I feel like I fall into that - but that's not really what all my energy is focused on. I feel lost about it most of the time, and I'm too lazy and scared to think it through. I haven't really told my parents - but there's nothing really to tell them because I've been doing this almost my entire life, surely they should have something figured out... And a quick question - to those who HAVE told their parents about this androgyne thing, how were their reactions?

I don't really think I have days where I'd like to be more feminine than masculine. If anything, I'd rather be seen in public and hear "Good morning, sir." - rather than hear snickers like, "Is that a boy or a girl?" The latter has occured many times. It kind of disturbs me, in an odd way - offends me even. Anyone relate?

I haven't had the guts, or the chance, to do this out in public, or even just in the presence of my parents/family - but sometimes when I'm alone I dress up in my dad's nice jacket. Although I do wear ties and dress shirts around the house. My parents don't question that anymore, or they just keep it to themselves. I wear guy casual clothes around the house (shorts, t shirt, guy shoes) - but it bores me really. I get tired of it and I would rather wear 'classy yet casual' clothing all the time. I don't know what anyone would think if I showed myself with my hair slicked back (which I would REALLY like to do). But I'm absolutely terrified.

Oh, one more thing - I'd have to totally agree with Nick. If I ever would take T, it wouldn't be to grow a beard or moustache, it would be to have some nice, trimmed, sexy sideburns.

Most days I feel more masculine than feminine. My female side tends to be more subtle. I probably talk more than men normally do and I analyze and inuit more than men do. However that's about it. The rest of me is pretty male in behaviour.

I have not told my parents anything, though I am now 30, so it does not matter as much. Mum knows I am transgendered in some way, we just have not talked about it. I felt the need to make a solid effort to really figure things out before I went out and told people - I'm still in the process somewhat.

I think I relate. It is better to be accepted and treated as a normal person than an object that people laugh at. Personally I still get a thrill when someone mistakes me for a woman on the phone or thinks I am a woman from behind because I wear pigtails. For some reason it feels good. Maybe it is because I reject being a man - for me it is better to be mistaken for a woman than a man in a mans body. Maybe it is simply a kind of recognition that I am not a man. Maybe it is the same for you Elliot? People naturally treat you as if you are a girl. It makes sense to me that it is nicer to be called something other than a girl and anything is better than "what the heck are they".

I understand the fear. I think this is something we all have in common. But I think it is better to have people love you as you are and not some imagined image of you. You have a need to be you, and these things tend to get more so as you get older. But you need to weigh that against keeping safe and avoiding discrimination. It sounds to me like you need a safe outlet to explore this aspect of yourself.

I would like to tell you to talk to your parents about it, but only you can judge whether this is a good idea at this time. It might be you need to wait till you old enough to move out to give yourself an escape. But if things are unbearable as they are then something needs to happen. My suggestion then, before you talk to anyone else, is talk to a councillor/therapist with experience with these issues (just watch out for lemons!). You probably have things to sort out about yourself before you can tell others. At least that way you have a person on your side.

You could also PM someone like MaryEllen from this site - she has a wiser more experienced head than mine. I think she will have some good advise for you.

My parents don't want to know. As far as they're concerned I should just be a woman that doesn't dress in mostly male clothing and writes poetry insed a man's head and shouldn't think like a man. Not going to happen. That's as unrealistic as forcing some artist to build a space rocket.

I have female clothing, I have male clothing, I enjoy both. Being androgyne was one of the major reasons I moved to the rainy city, I can have my hair the way I want it, wear the clothes I feel comfortable in, and express myself the way I wish. Another reason is to be with my BF who constantly amazes me with how loving, supporting, and accepting he is of me. Being taken for a punk or lesbian because of my appearance doesn't much bother me, it's worth it to get sirred now and then, to have the only reason that people give me a second glance is that I'm holding a man's hand as I walk down the street. I like to pass sometimes, but sometimes friends will call me "girl", which is a mild annoyance, but not enough that I more than toy with the notion of correcting them. They're at least half right, anyway. I prefer being called "sie", but I don't complain if people stick to biology. I have enough physically androgynous traits that if I bind and keep my hair short and watch my voice, I pass; one transwoman actually asked if I was on a low dose of T, which was flattering, although I don't think I'll ever do hormones since I plan on spawning someday. Surgery, mebbe some breast reduction after I've spawned. I have a very womanly figure, and I'm content with that. SRS doesn't seem like an option to me either, I'd be in the same boat with different bits and pieces. If I have to pick, I'd prefer to have a rather nice female body than a less functional male body. I do plan on changing my real name to Michal, however, since while it is pronounced exactly the same as the male name, it's actually a female name, Biblical in origin.

I've stopped repressing my behaviors, my body language is a mixture of male and female, as are my behaviors and tastes in things.

Partly why I'm not tansiting. a) I don't really want a male body I like my body to function poperly in all its aspects. C) I like having my body they way it is. I sometimes wish I was taller and less curvy but then even T can't change it.

Also; I'm pretty sure my parents won't accept me. They probably won't be cool with my being bisexual, much less androgyne. I cried for hours and nearly slit my throat when I figured out they wouldn't accept me, but if I come out and say that I'm androgyne I'll lose them. It still hurts that I know they don't really love me if they don't accept me, but I'm coming to terms with that. If they don't accept me they don't love me. If they don't love me they didn't want a child in the first place, they didn't want a PERSON, they wanted a THING, an object. A little machine to act just like mommy and pump out straight A's.

Bugger that. :/

Parents laughed at me when I told them. So I don't bother except to say that being male and female is more fluid than they think it is.

The view from an one who has been around. Enjoy, wonder more, analyze less. Feel both sides of your lucky persona,kick back and let the world wonder.

Let your emotions control your look and present yourself the way you want to at the moment.

It seems that most of you have already done that. Mia

Most days I can do that. It's just dating is the hardest. I'm sure many of my boyfriends don't know whether to trat me as a man or a woman. I've yet to meet one that acts like he could date anyone. Man, woman, both, neither no biggie.

I get a real kick out of it when people say, "Is that a boy or a girl?". To me, that's one of the best feelings around. It might be said as a sneering comment or joke, but it doesn't bother me one bit. I actually like it. I prefer to be refered to as a 'sir' though, or even 'pretty boy' than a 'lesbian'. Hell, I can settle for 'gay guy'. As long as I'm a guy. But I like looking like a fem guy. I don't want to look completely like some muscular male with the rough beard etc etc or the opposite as a skirt wearing booty call (lol). It's a blending of both fem and male qualities to me and I find I get a lot of enjoyment out of it as well as comfort.

I'll dress like a guy. I'll wear the suit and tie and bind my breasts down but I'll still wear some very light makeup (normally just foundation and eyeliner/eyeshadow) and do crazy things with my hair. Or if I go casual I'll wear guy jeans with a well-fitted guy's shirt with some Vans. I just have fun with it. I grew up as a tomboy. Only thing that really gives me away is my voice and probably my very fem face. I can normally hide the hips with a jacket or hoodie since my hips aren't huge (but they're still there to my dismay). Not saying I want a deep manly voice, but a more boyish voice is something I can only dream of. I'm practicing some voice exercises I found on the web but I don't know if they're working.

There's something beautiful to me about being a blending of both genders at once, if it's at all possible. Of being one of those that exists on that very fine line between male and female. But that's probably just me accepting who I am for who I am and wallowing in my masculine vainness. (lol!)

As for mentally, I am a male trapped in a female's body, but there does exist a part of me psychologically that's female. I tend to take on feminine qualities at random times. But then there are times when the chaos of the conflicting genders in my head becomes nonexistent and if I didn't have boobs, I wouldn't be able to tell if I were truely male or female. It's hard to describe actually, but hey, this body isn't that bad. It just needs some tweaking is the way I see it before it will fit me like a glove.

I'm most comfortable being a masculine woman with a mostly male identity. I dress like it and I probably act like it unconsciously.