Safety and protection

[Guest Shari]

Hi everyone,

Tonight I wore a new skirt and top to my therapy session. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not full of myself but I figure I must have looked awesome. My therapist stood in the doorway until I was safely away. I love that she saw me this way and wanted to protect me.

It got me thinking that if I was attacked, I would be victimized twice, first by the criminal and second by the newspaper (they seem fascinated by us).

Anyway, let's all be careful out there.

Shari

[Sally]

There is no need to be paranoid but there is always the need to be aware of your surroundings and be careful - that isn't just for the girls - the boys need to be careful too.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest IsabelleStPierre]

Welcome to life as a woman in this day and age. Has nothing to do with being trans, it has to do with being female. Sadly we live in a society that tells us to not get raped, not that rape shouldn't happen in the first place. You always need to be aware of your surroundings; that street with poor lighting that you never gave a thought to before transitioning, is now your enemy.

One of the main reasons most transgender people get sexually assaulted isn't because of being transgender, but rather because they lack the lifetime of conditioning that women go through from a young age...

Peace, love, and contentment,

Isabelle

[JJ]

So true!

I often swim alone at a public lake and any time anyone arrives am aware of where they are every moment because I have to come out of the water eventually. I do it as second nature and didn't realize how much till the other day when I looked at someone who arrived to swim in the swimming area (I don't because I am doing conditioning swimming and not leisure) and then relaxed because I didn't have to worry anymore since in the water I am consistently seen as male now. But the intensity of the safety conditioning was driven home by that reaction. This is a very safe area that way. No one here even has keys to their doors and regulary leave keys in vehicles yet I always know exactly who is where in relation to me. No matter where I am.

As someone female bodied that has been taught since I learned to walk. I was cautioned never to be out of sight of adults and punished for it as boys were not. And when old enough to be out of sight was taught never to be alone in an isolated place or to be prepared and watch for trouble.

It becomes deeply ingrained. And it is vital for any woman. Because the predators are looking for easy targets.But looking fearful-or acting fearful can also make you a target. Just be aware.

I have never gotten in a car by myself without automatically looking in the back seat as I walked up. Never walked up to a car in parking lot alone without glancing under it as I approached. Paranoid? Nope. Just staying safe.

Always know who is around you and what they are doing. Stay extra aware. And going out at night alone? Not if you can help it.

It gets easier and second nature after awhile.

Johnny

[Carolyn Marie]

All of the above advice is spot on, Shari. The only thing I'll add is what I've said in other threads - avoid risky behavior, because that will get you into trouble a lot faster than anything else.

What do I mean by that? Getting drunk in bars and nightclubs, going to unfamiliar places late at night, going to places you should know are dangerous, hanging out with men you don't know, getting driven anywhere by someone you don't or barely know, etc. etc.

If you think you would never do anything like that, I hope your right, but I've seen it done by otherwise responsible people right here. Be safe, and think before you act.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Mia J]

Thank you for reminding us Shari.

I had this hit home early this spring when I was out hiking and came close to some very suspicious characters who did not look like they really belonged on a remote hiking trail. It really sunk in that here I was a lone lady out hiking with only my camera monopod to protect me.

Mia

[Guest Donna Jean]

All of the above advice is spot on, Shari. The only thing I'll add is what I've said in other threads - avoid risky behavior, because that will get you into trouble a lot faster than anything else.

What do I mean by that? Getting drunk in bars and nightclubs, going to unfamiliar places late at night, going to places you should know are dangerous, hanging out with men you don't know, getting driven anywhere by someone you don't or barely know, etc. etc.

If you think you would never do anything like that, I hope your right, but I've seen it done by otherwise responsible people right here. Be safe, and think before you act.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Good stuff, Carolyn.....

I'm full time and I've had to totally re-learn my night time adventures.....

I went about my way as I did in the "male" days at first and I realized how very dangerous it was..!!!!!

Be safe!

[Guest Julie T]

All

If you are female bodied, you need to adapt to it and know about being weaker and seen as a target. And you are not experienced as you have not been raised female. It today's society if you are assaulted and raped, many judge you as you probably were just asking for it. This is in addition to the danger we face as transwomen who have not had SRS. If we are found to be male sexed during a rape attempt, we usually are killed.

Be safe out there girls.

Julie