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Another Important Date For Me In August


Sally

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It seems that most of my major progress takes place in August, I joined Laura's in August three years ago, I started my coming out at work in August this year and in between I started my HRT in August two years ago - on August 18, 2009.

I do not see as many changes in myself as others do - I looked in the mirror too often and the changes are subtle, but along with the softer skin comes the permission to be emotional instead of pretending that nothing could ever hurt me - it is a major change.

Memphis-Sept200997-1.jpgDSCI0108-1-2.jpg

In Memphis September 2009 and now In New Orleans July 2011

I have had some success in my transition, basically no one cares that I am 6'4" and that I still need to lose about a hundred pounds - they just like Sally, that person that I kept hidden for so many decades.

I still do not believe that HRT changes how you think but the proper hormones do open up pathways and portions of your brain that had been walled off by testosterone - so there is a bit of help there but you still must give yourself permission to be you, to think as you were always meant to and to just be you.

I have for so long fought a battle trying to hold onto enough male to get by at work - that is changing and soon I will no longer have to try - I can just let go of that persona forever - it is about time, he spent almost 60 years protecting me and I think that it is time that I let him sit back and relax a bit while I take care of things.

Now is the time to just be me - no more acting, it is not about copying behaviors and mannerisms of other women that you see - now it is about letting all of the observations that you made over the years come to the surface - we always watched women and envied them - we learned back then while they were forcing us to learn male mannerisms - some we learned instinctively like natal females (we are closer to that than most of us think) others we have observed for so long - just let go of the maleness that you were carefully taught and be the woman you were meant to be - if you are a tomboy - be one, there is nothing wrong with that - I was a Southern Belle from the very start and now I can finally life the part.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Donna Jean

I was a Southern Belle from the very start and now I can finally life the part.

Love ya,

Sally

Here's your Mint Julip, Hon.......

MAYBE YOU DON'T SEE THE CHANGES....BUT, WE SURE DO!

HUGGS & LOVE

Dee Jay

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  • Forum Moderator

Sally so wise and finally coming into your own as a woman full time. Well in truth you have long been that-now you just get to let everyone know. I can't picture the Sally I know and love ever really passing as male anymore.. I think he's been snoozing for awhile hon and you just thought he was there. People see what they are told is there and that is the only reason it's worked till now.

Congratulations

On where you are in your life. On your anniversaries and on standing in the light ar last.

Love Johnny

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Guest Audrey Elizabeth

I love your post Sally, especially the part about the mirror. The mirror hides so much with all the day to day activity but when I look back 8 month ago I can see the changes taking place since I first took my first HRT dose. And you are so right about having permission to be emotional. Now I can just relax and be silly and not feel that I have to be tough. It is so much more comfortable. So much more me!

You are an inspiration sally and you strengthened my belief that I can get there.

Audrey

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  • Admin

Sally, I agree that the thinking process doesn't (or didn't for me) change in any noticeable way. What's different is the freedom to express myself in ways I never did, and to let my emotions range free and unfettered. I love to hug others now, and rarely did that before, and then only with family. I give love freely, and its almost always returned in equal measure.

I can see and feel the happiness and fulfillment blossoming in you, as the weeks go by and you get closer to being truly full time Sally. Your journey has been long and torturous, but as we tell the members so often, the end is worth all of that, and more. There is something magical and wondrous about being able to be ourselves, and having people recognize and respond to that. It is a benefit I never anticipated, and which i welcome with open arms.

Welcome to Womanhood, Sally.

Love

Carolyn Marie

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