Eating disorder? Food problems? An obsession?

[KieranD]

I'm really not sure what it is specifically that I'm doing. I'm aware that what I'm doing isn't quite right like what most people would do, but I don't know if it's entirely wrong. I also don't know if it's considered an eating disorder, an obsession with food or what.

Up until fairly recently...maybe the past year or two, which was when I started interacting with online trans communities I was fairly accepting of my weight, my shape, and my size. Somebody told me I should lose weight, and that with losing weight I would be read as male more often. I thought about it and didn't pay it much mind until the same thing was said later...then again and again and again until everything people had wanted to give me advice on when I asked for advice on "passing" was diets. I started to think that maybe me losing weight would be the solution, so I tried my hardest to cut calories and eat healthier. When I first started I just looked at what I was eating and kept track of calories and what sort of food I was eating. Just from that alone I noticed there was something not right. People were thinking that I was consuming around 3,000 calories a day when I averaged my calories a day I was pretty close to 1,000. With my average of 1,000 calories a day I was unable to lose any weight. I was maintaining the same weight. Now, people have called me a liar for saying that. I was told that it's impossible for me to consume that little yet not lose weight but that's what happened. So, knowing I was eating almost nothing without any results I started eating less. There were some days where I "just wasn't hungry" and would eat maybe 200 calories, supplementing water for food. I don't think I could not count calories because I'm maintaining the same weight with the little food I take in. If I wasn't paying attention then maybe I would eat too much an get seen as female more.

[Guest Miss_Construe]

Starvation mode isn't fun for anyone. If you consume less than roughly a 500 - 1000 calorie deficit then your body enters into something called 'starvation mode'. Your metabolism drops way low so you can maintain your weight. In this mode you will also keep and gain fat, retain water and waste and be mal-nourished. That is what is physically happening.

If you want 'dieting' tips I can direct you to Men's Health Magazine and the Abs Diet they have, which is actually really good.

You are currently anorexic so, yeah. I can tell you to just eat more but from what I understand it wont help in the slightest. Focus on building better habits and make sure you tell your counsellor. If you can change your habits fairly easily then great. If not then having as many people on your side as you can find will help.

April

[KieranD]

Starvation mode isn't fun for anyone. If you consume less than roughly a 500 - 1000 calorie deficit then your body enters into something called 'starvation mode'. Your metabolism drops way low so you can maintain your weight. In this mode you will also keep and gain fat, retain water and waste and be mal-nourished. That is what is physically happening.

If you want 'dieting' tips I can direct you to Men's Health Magazine and the Abs Diet they have, which is actually really good.

You are currently anorexic so, yeah. I can tell you to just eat more but from what I understand it wont help in the slightest. Focus on building better habits and make sure you tell your counsellor. If you can change your habits fairly easily then great. If not then having as many people on your side as you can find will help.

April

I don't have a counselor. Most of the diet tips is eat less calories. Somebody else said starvation mode doesn't actually exist. I also don't know what better habits would be.

[Guest Mia J]

Have you been to a MD for a physical? That is usually the first step is to see if there is some physical reason such as thyroid activity that could be causing you not to loose weight. The MD will also be able to advise you on diet and exercise. And as April says if you cut out too many calories too fast your body will slow down your metabolism to prevent any weight loss.

Exercise is an important part of loosing weight and there a specific types of exercise that you can do to bring out more of the male aspects. Each of us has to determine the best method for ourselves. You might consider joining a gym if you need guidance and motivation. Even just getting out for a lot of walks can help.

Also age is a big factor. The older you get the more your metabolic rate slows down so it is harder to drop pounds. Of course the depression that often comes with G.D. does not help us NOT to eat too much.

You might want to check out the Diet and Exercise forum here on Laura's for more help.

For me starting HRT has made it a lot harder for me to drop weight. I need to get rid of about 20 pounds and am finding it very hard.

Mia

[KieranD]

Have you been to a MD for a physical? That is usually the first step is to see if there is some physical reason such as thyroid activity that could be causing you not to loose weight. The MD will also be able to advise you on diet and exercise. And as April says if you cut out too many calories too fast your body will slow down your metabolism to prevent any weight loss.

Exercise is an important part of loosing weight and there a specific types of exercise that you can do to bring out more of the male aspects. Each of us has to determine the best method for ourselves. You might consider joining a gym if you need guidance and motivation. Even just getting out for a lot of walks can help.

Also age is a big factor. The older you get the more your metabolic rate slows down so it is harder to drop pounds. Of course the depression that often comes with G.D. does not help us NOT to eat too much.

You might want to check out the Diet and Exercise forum here on Laura's for more help.

For me starting HRT has made it a lot harder for me to drop weight. I need to get rid of about 20 pounds and am finding it very hard.

Mia

I did have a physical in May. Everything checked out okay. The issue with exercise is that I have a large chest (don't ID as male) which I'm uncomfortable with so I bind. I just can't bind and exercise because well...it doesn't work out that way. When I don't wear my binder and attempt to work out I freak out and get shoulder pain. I've had trouble trying to find a really good sports bra that does what I need it to. Not for lack of trying of course. I did make a post in diet and exercise and I guess the best info I got was to research isometrics. I couldn't join a gym. I would feel way too uncomfortable.

Not sure what GD is. I'm pretty young, 24. What I would ultimately want to do is have everybody else be okay with me being fat instead of saying "hey, you should lose weight."

[Guest Miss_Construe]

I don't have a counselor. Most of the diet tips is eat less calories. Somebody else said starvation mode doesn't actually exist. I also don't know what better habits would be.

Starvation mode definitely exists. Here are some sport bras that should stand up to the test. Also, make sure you are using proper form while working out. Sore shoulders and back can also be from not having proper form.

Look up 'Title Nine'

April

[KieranD]

I don't have a counselor. Most of the diet tips is eat less calories. Somebody else said starvation mode doesn't actually exist. I also don't know what better habits would be.

Starvation mode definitely exists. Here are some sport bras that should stand up to the test. Also, make sure you are using proper form while working out. Sore shoulders and back can also be from not having proper form.

Look up 'Title Nine'

April

Yea, I've gone on their site. Since I'm not 100% sure of my size or how to get the right fit I'm not comfortable spending a lot on a sports bra which will be a big gamble. I did go to a sporting goods store and tried on a bunch of sizes...all too small. They might not carry my size now that I really look at the bras.

[Guest Maria_B]

Kieran, weight has been something people have always been uncomfortable with seeing (Read: ''lose some weight to seem more male = no fat kids.) Weight is a large part of bullying and discrimination, it just seems that overweight people tend not to kill themselves as much as other bullied groups, and therefor no one gives a rats butt about them. Therefor the buttbuckets that do discrim will never be held accountable.

Unfortunately, being overweight = more fat in your face = softer look = more feminine look.

But, this is not what is keeping you from defaulting as Male in the sense of a binary world.

Muggles (Non gender gifted people or those who refuse to acknowledge genderqueer) to read you as male has nothing to do with your weight. However, if you think losing it would help, eating habits are the key. Google some diets from Men's Health, they tend to have what to eat when, also (read: what kind of meals at what time in a stereotypical day). Do some walking in hilly areas, if'n you can do so comfortably and what-not.

You have an eating disorder, you have recognized it, and you have sought help by coming to us. I am not a dietician or therapist, I can not make the world accepting of your weight or recognize your genderqueerdom, But I can tell you, healthy eating habits are hard to start and maintain, and eating less is not the key. Please try to realise that.

I seriously suggest the Men's Health magazine diet plans. But don't diet from them, make them a lifestyle. You are 24, you are young in the scheme of things, and most importantly, after 8 years of hardship, you are a strong person. Draw from your resilience to change your eating habits, and don't go through it alone. You've said before you have none close to you, so instead keep us updated with your triumphs and tribulations.

Eating habits are hard to start and maintain, I told you, and its true.

So, talk to us, or, when the inevitable happens and you slip up or have trouble starting after finding a diet plan you think you can make a lifestyle, we can be your backing.

You don't have to do this alone, and you sure as sugar coated beet-roots shouldn't.

Healthy eating helps to form a healthy mind.

Te amo.

[KieranD]

I really don't think losing weight will help. I googled what you said but couldn't find the info. Can you post a link?

I'm in a very flat area but walking for long periods of time can bug me easily.

I think another thing to tack on to my food problems is that I tend to feel sick right after I eat and usually end up making 5 or so trips to the bathroom. It hurts a lot and on days where I'm working, it throws me off for a whole day. This also makes me worry that if I were to eat more and more often that I would be spending even more time on the toilet.

[VickySGV]

You need to get yourself under the care of a therapist, and a nutritionist who can advise you on what diet to be on. The best is of course a very well balanced one, with all the major food groups involved. I am a type 2 diabetic but I have been on HRT for two years now, and as a result had to be put on a womans reducing diet since I am what is considered obese. The American Diabetes Association has a very informative web site on nutrition, and diabetic menus will be a good source of proper nutrition for anyone since they balance foods over a time period so that you have enough of all the nutrients you need.

I want to hear a good solid clang of a garbage can lid on the idea that being a lower weight will make you look more masculine. Lets face it, most "manly men" have got beer guts, and Pects that outsize any woman's chest at its best. This is one of the reasons I keep getting read as male, I do have the left overs of a beer gut which is slowly going away, but is still there.

Please do see a therapist though FOR THE EATING PROBLEM, April hit the button on the starvation issue, while breast tissue is largely fat, there is also a very real, non fat component, that even in survival mode will not decrease, because your body is signaling SURVIVAL. Some of the purging is habit, but habits are never easy to break, you will need help from any number of sources, but please get it.

Its the true manly thing to call in the help when you need it.

[Guest Maria_B]

Vicky, if I understand correctly, ze has a very tight budget. However, diabetic diets are actually a fantastic idea, as they are a good source for anyone's health.

[Michelle 2010]

Have you been to a MD for a physical? That is usually the first step is to see if there is some physical reason such as thyroid activity that could be causing you not to loose weight. The MD will also be able to advise you on diet and exercise. And as April says if you cut out too many calories too fast your body will slow down your metabolism to prevent any weight loss.

Exercise is an important part of loosing weight and there a specific types of exercise that you can do to bring out more of the male aspects. Each of us has to determine the best method for ourselves. You might consider joining a gym if you need guidance and motivation. Even just getting out for a lot of walks can help.

Also age is a big factor. The older you get the more your metabolic rate slows down so it is harder to drop pounds. Of course the depression that often comes with G.D. does not help us NOT to eat too much.

You might want to check out the Diet and Exercise forum here on Laura's for more help.

For me starting HRT has made it a lot harder for me to drop weight. I need to get rid of about 20 pounds and am finding it very hard.

Mia

I did have a physical in May. Everything checked out okay. The issue with exercise is that I have a large chest (don't ID as male) which I'm uncomfortable with so I bind. I just can't bind and exercise because well...it doesn't work out that way. When I don't wear my binder and attempt to work out I freak out and get shoulder pain. I've had trouble trying to find a really good sports bra that does what I need it to. Not for lack of trying of course. I did make a post in diet and exercise and I guess the best info I got was to research isometrics. I couldn't join a gym. I would feel way too uncomfortable.

Not sure what GD is. I'm pretty young, 24. What I would ultimately want to do is have everybody else be okay with me being fat instead of saying "hey, you should lose weight."

Well if thaaats the issue, you may have a problem.... I spent most of my life thinking the world would be a wonderful place if only it would act as I knew it should... At some point I learned (the hard way, of course), that the problem with my unhappiness was unrealistic expectations of the world around me

So you have two options: 1) don't worry about what the world thinks and stay being ok with fatness, or 2) lose weight.

I'd like to address how I lost 85 pounds... First, exercise doesn't lose weight. !/2 pizza is probably a 25 mile walk... Thats a hard way to lose weight, right? Pushups, situps, jumping jacks, etc will provide really nice muscle tone underneath the layer of fat where it won't be seen.

Proper eating in the most obese nation on the planet requires a paradigm shift. Since you have a normal thyroid and have seen a medical professional I will share this. Processed food and Carbs are the primary source of obesity in the US. If it comes in a box..its processed and probably bad for you... Shop the outer walls of the grocery store. Initially, cut waaaay back on potatoes, bread and rice. If you do these things you can lose weight and never be hungry. Enjoy hearty breakfast, ample lunch and dinner and lose weight. There are detractors and naysayers but it works. When I did it 10 years ago I looked long and hard at university studies to see if I could damage myself and the evidence doesn't exist. Again, in the beginning, watch out for hidden sugar and carbs, such as carrots white beans etc.

There are lots of info and websites devoted to a low carb lifestyle. I can control my weight, losing 2-5 lbs whenever I hit my trigger weight. Of course, no alcohol or beer... Having a genetically female hormonal system means the results might be less dramatic but should still be significant.

Good luck on you decision!

Michelle

[KieranD]

I cannot afford a therapist or nutritionist right now. I'll do some digging about the diebetic diets (Although, I have heard that sugar substitutes cause people to gain weight).

I would like to just announce I would prefer people say "more male" as opposed to "more manly" or "more masculine" since I'm neither manly nor masculine and don't wish to come across as either of those.

If carbs are the cause of obsecity then how is it that a man ate nothing but potatoes for two months. He lost 21 pounds an his cholesterol was decreased. When getting a health check up at the end of his only potatoes diet his health was fine with slightly lower fat soluble vitamins.

[Michelle 2010]

Hi again,

I'm not sure the study you are quoting, but the primary emphasis I was making was on processed food that comes in boxes or bags. fresh unmanufactured food is always a good bet. The outside aisles of the grocery store are a good rule of thumb. You don't indicate in the study what volume is consumed etc so it isn't something I will comment on.

Regarding the rice, bread and potatoes, I'm talking about quick weight loss. These foods can be reintroduced in a controlled manner until weight starts to go up.

The funny thing about the potatoes is that I always heard it was the butter, bacon and cheese that were added that make a person fat. All those can be consumed if the potato isn't... The information is available if you want to see it. The metabolic burn rate differs for carbs vs. fats so by minimizing the carb consumption the fat taken in is burned easily. It is a misconception that eating fat makes you fat.

Others here may chime in about cholesterol from meat fats etc. I'm not trying to sell something, suffice to say my blood work, weight and heat are in better shape today than ten years ago. If someone is interested but has concerns about health implications, check it out for yourself.

Best wishes

Michelle

[VickySGV]

I'll do some digging about the diebetic diets (Although, I have heard that sugar substitutes cause people to gain weight).

Sugar substitutes can be bad news because they leave an aftertaste that you are tempted to erase with more food!! One of my daughters learned that the hard way!! Solution is simple though, choose your foods that have varied flavors and do not rely on having "sweet" things. Michele's suggestion to shop for the fresh vegetables fits in with that, since they can flavor a meal without adding sweeteners, or you can use fruits as PART OF THE BALANCED DIET to give you what you need for a sugar kick. I do not use sugar substitutes at all. Believe it or not, cooking can be a way of losing weight, since you think of the food differently as you prepare it and flavor it. Fresh vegetables and other foods are also cheaper in the long run too since you can prepare the portions to fit your needs, and a stick of celery gives munching satisfaction with little caloric impact.

The potatoes only diet did happen, but in reality, the guy was getting sugar and nothing else for however long it was since the potato starch was converted directly into sugar. As long as he kept the intake at less than daily cell maintenance sugar calories, he lost weight. His insulin regulating system seems to have been up to the giant task he gave it though. If he had been diabetic, he could easily have ended up losing his feet or eyesight due to nerve damage, or having a thrombus get loose in his lungs or heart. My point simply is that "one man's meal is another mans poison".

I will respect your choice of words for describing how you want to look, I used the phrase I did interchangeably with your choice, and meant nothing more. I will never use the cliche to "lose weight to look___________", and agree with you that being told to lose weight is a total pain in the ankle bone, I don't even rate it as high as a pain in the knee cap, if you see the direction I am going with that one.

[KieranD]

Alright, so today I got in two meals. The first was oatmeal with some whole milk mixed in, and the second was half a turkey and mustard on thiny sliced rye with mango juice. I felt sick shortly after eating. I'm still not feeling very good but it's late and we just have grapes in the fridge. I'll probably eat some tomorrow.

I woke up at around 10, had to get ready for work at 12, took a break at 4, got home at 10:30. Will be sleeping in maybe 2 hours so I probably shouldn't eat again til morning.

[KieranD]

I think I've been eating more. I haven't been keeping track like I was. I'm working every day so I don't have time to plan meals, and.since I'm working on paying bills that I couldn't pay before money is still scarce. After taxes I make around $7 (USD) an hour and have been given 4-8 hour shifts 7 days a week. $196 a week working every day (min). It sucks. This week I have jury duty so I'll only be working 2 days with 9 hour shifts. The work isn't great, the pay isn't there, and I'm not treated how I want to be treated.

I also dislike working with customers because they constsntly misgender me.

Anyways...food. I often feel sick after I eat which makes me want to eat less.

[KieranD]

I've sort of relapsed I guess. My last doctor's appointment showed high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I also was told no dairy. This is making it very hard to figure out what I can eat. I've gone back to staring at labels and often skipping meals when I can't figure out what I can eat.

[VickySGV]

Sorry to hit you up again with this one, but FRESH vegetables and lean meats are your friends. Turkey and chicken are inexpensive and filling without a serious calorie overload. Anything where you have to read a lable is not helpful. By no dairy, I assume that you mean milk and cheese, and eggs (for the cholesterol). Ughhh!! You need some starches, you count potatoes as a starch, not a vegetable, and same for corn.

Very easy dinner is two cups of some stir fry vegetables fried in a very little bit of olive oil with about 4-6 ounces of sliced cooked turkey tossed in, and a half cup of cooked long grain rice. Prep time on the fresh veggies is the longest part of it. Sounds dull, but the same stuff can become a salad.

A southwest Omlette using egg substitues (Egg Beaters) bell pepper, onions, tomato and cilantro with lean, thin cut beef or pork in it, and you have a pretty good meal. (Even if you just scramble all of that together instead of making look like an omlette it will do fine.) Break the can and package habit. The fresh is cheaper and better.

Don't worry or let the relapse hit you too hard as long as you see it and know about it. FRESH starts are always good.

[KieranD]

The no dairy is because my doctor believes I might be lactose intolerant. Not eating milk, cheese, or anything containing milk has made my body feel a bit better. I don't think I would eat the food you're describing. I always get the feeling of vomit coming up the back of my throat when I smell fish or eggs. What are stir fry vegetables? I would think cooking the rice would be the longest part. I also don't have that much time in my day. I'm working 8+ hours a day with about an hour and a half commute total. I tend to get home from work some time between 7:30-9 at night, which usually makes me not want to do any other work.

[VickySGV]

Stir fry vegetables would be any vegetable (bok choy, bean sprouts, celery, cabbage, squash, carrots, onions, brocoli, bell pepper, chinese peas, green beans et al that is cut into small pieces (a few minutes to scrub and cut them) and cooked in a frying pan with a little bit of olive or sesame oil so they are still a bit crisp. If a wok (an asian bowl shaped frying pan) is one of your untensils, it will work the best. You can even get packages of frozen vegetables pre cut and washed, but they are about 3 times what the fresh stuff costs. Minute Rice is aptly named, it is pre cooked and you put boiling water on it and stir it around once.

I have been in your work hour situation but my commute time was two hours each way, and I had three young kids to take care of at the same time as a single parent. I feel for you, but you sometimes have to do what you don't feel like to have enough time left of life.