Pardon me if I GUSH with excitement! My first Gender Therapy appointment was AMMMAAAAZZZzzziiinnggg!

[Guest Svenna]

This is great Svenna,

I think you have made our night. Ah heck you have made my month!!!!!

Way to go.

Blushing now...

I know how you feel about the 12 year old in an old body. There are a lot of us who have felt that way. But don't fret and think your going to miss those growing times because you were cheated out of them. They are going to catch up and it will be like riding a tornado.

What a magical time to be on planet earth, when such things are now possible, where a 50 year old man's body can be re-purposed in order that a 12 year old spirit girl can have life breathed into her and live...."you will do such things and even greater" a wise fella once said to amazed onlookers about miraculous feats reputed to have been performed many centuries ago...if this doesn't qualify as 'miraculous', even in the most general sense, I do not know what does rise to the definition. We live in incredible times, yes indeedy...

Your expression of your first meeting with your G.T. really brought me to happy tears.

This pleases me no end! I am still a bit weepy with amazement and relief and joyful expectation. I mean, dang it, I'm really gonna have REAL BREASTS and maybe, MUCH MORE!!!!

Pinch me, no wait, if I'm dreaming, I don't want to wake up just yet. Just let me lay here and enjoy!

Remember dear we are here to support and help.

I will. Thank you. Again!

Love, Svenna

Love ya

Mia

[Guest Gwendolyn Elizabeth]

Svenna,

I am very excited for you on having a good appointment. I also feel for with being married to someone with borderline personality disorder. I spent way to many years living with someone who was always right and i was always wrong and who subjected me to emotional abuse. But now that I have moved out I have been in a much better state of mind. And hormones have been enough to push me straight into feeling good all the time.

Gwen

[Guest Svenna]

Svenna,

I am very excited for you on having a good appointment. I also feel for with being married to someone with borderline personality disorder. I spent way to many years living with someone who was always right and i was always wrong and who subjected me to emotional abuse. But now that I have moved out I have been in a much better state of mind. And hormones have been enough to push me straight into feeling good all the time..

Gwen

Gwen,

I am trying the best I can to navigate our relationship to a place where I can be the real me without 'waking the beast' within her. She has made significant progress, but even so, I am walking on eggshells with this 'gender identity THING'...just tonight I accidentally spoke up in support of Chaz Bono and she turned into 'oh no, you're not gonna tell me you're a girl, again, scenario'...I just cringed, took a deep breathe, and reverted back to the frame of mind I had before I had come out to myself...

It was difficult and treacherous, but I think I am making headway with her and perhaps, just perhaps, she will be able to eventually see that this is about me and my happiness, not about her and her fears of being deceived, abandoned, wrong, or worse. The Borderline state of mind is nor easy for her to live with, nor me to tolerate, especially at such a difficult time in my transition...

I was finally able to get her to understand that being in therapy requires me to be open to whatever the therapy reveals, and just by resisting with even 'reasonable' concerns as to where it is going or what I discover on the way, will skew the process in favor of a more 'desirable result'...

She finally eased up and fell asleep, but it took every bit of my psychological might to pretend I still 'just don't know what I think' so as to not alert her to the fact that I have needed to be deceptive my entire life merely TO SURVIVE...I hope I can manage the release of new info to her in such a way that we both 'discover' that I am trans and that it doesn't mean that I want to leave her, that I haven't lied to her deliberately, and that we can still have the same or deeper love for each other...

She is an amazing person in her own right, she never asked for the abuse that she endured as a baby and child, either. I just cannot discard her on the basis that she is not 'normal', either, BUT...but, I will not tolerate any abusiveness at all. I believe she understands my POV, as described, and will endeavor to support me, where ever my therapy takes me. Of course, I had to base my need to see this particular psychologist on her credentials as a PTSD/sexual abuse/anxiety/ bipolar disorder specialist, not on her credentials as a gender/sex therapist..hopefully, we can frame my 'discovery of female-ness' within the larger context of the related issues...

Complicated dance, no? I am sure you must understand the challenge I face, having walked in similar shoes yourself...wish me luck!

Love and respect, Svenna