? Gay to be a transgender?

[Guest natascha]

last friday, i was at work and i ccame out to co-worker that i was transgender.

she took it OK, (i think), anyway she started asking me questions on how i felt and why. so the question were asked and answered as truthfully as i can.

then she asked me if i am straight and like women, (i am currently male and yeah i do like women, men scare me), she then said that i couldnt be transgender because i liked women, i told her that it doesnt matter whether i was straight LGB, that what i strongly feel internally, i would need to change externally to become one.

she took it that i had to be gay to be trans, i corrected her... (i know everyone circumstances are different) and i told her about many men that have married women and have children, then go on to fulfil their destiny.

I sald that sex and gender, were two different things and doesnt relate to one or the other.

I also mentioned that HRT can rewire my brain and my sexual interest can change, and she asked me was i comfortable with that. i said that i just want to be happy with myself and become who i really am and to live as a woman.

I know for a fact that she doesnt understand transgender stuff, but she said that she would look into it and try to grasp the whole understanding of it, (what more can i ask for). she is a lovely woman and personally think that i am luckly to know her. i know that she doesnt understand what i am going through, also for the fact that trans issues arent as widely known as homesexual issues. but we can only offer to educate, if they would listen.

i hope i didnt say anything wrong, its just that atm im sinking back into depression and my hesd in a million other places than where it should be. please dont hesitate to tell me off.. im still learning about these issues that i am going through

hugs and love

natascha

[Guest Gopi]

I'm pretty much with you here Natascha. Like you, I'm attracted to women. I tend to the 'spectrum' theory and I agree that gender and sexuality are not linked. I understand that some people change sexual orientation on transition and some don't. I reckon you pretty much said it like it is.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Natasha.....

No, Hon....you said everything right......

It's important for people to understand that gender identity and sexual preference are totally different things!

And, no......HRT won't change your sexual preference....it is all a part of one opening up to be their true self...

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Guest Svenna]

natasha,

welcome to trans 101!

one of the central challenges is to be seen as female not as a gay male. it looks the same to those that don't know better. it is perfectly clear to me now, but it took me decades to unravel my transness from my homophobia, too. so, i expect people to have some initial confusion as I start coming out...

you may have found a sympathetic GG for a new friend. that is very nice!

love, svenna

[Guest Ney'ite]

Often I have seen it posted: "Sex is between your legs. Gender is between your ears."

Whenever I come across this topic, I ask the person if a woman had a double mastectomy and complete hysterectomy, is she no longer woman? With those body parts removed, would she no longer feel female? Or a male has a complete penectomy for medical reasons, is he no longer male? With those body parts removed, would he no longer feel male (ego aside)? And before they pull the chromosome card, there are people with just about every combination of chromosomes.

It is drilled into people from childhood to categorize and label things into neat little piles. This is fine for colored blocks and shapes, but there are just too many variables for this to work on people.

[Guest Megan188]

I'm also a MtF transgender who really only likes women, but I feel like I have a fair balance between male and female characteristics. Though most of my interests are socially considered to be more masculine, I also have some girly traits, such as my soft, nurturing kind of personality and my love for anything cute or pink. Recently, I've felt more unsure about whether or not I should physically change my sex, but I think that mostly has to do with the fact that I feel more confined by social norms in terms of my general long-term goals, rather than what I generally think I am. If I had the choice, I'd certainly be a girl instead of a boy - a bit tomboyish, but still female at heart.

Though most people might find it to be a little weird for you to be a MtF transsexual who's attracted to women, I absolutely think you should consider your gender identity separate from your sexuality. To me, it's really just an intuitive feeling that can't be fully explained by what we usually perceive to be male or female.

[KimOrbit]

Hi, you know, Im going to be a MTF and I am a transsexual. I have never ever felled in love with a woman. and sometimes I feel i am in love with a boy. then my friends calls me gay cause my body is body of a boy. but you know, you have told every thing good. sex is in another world than gender. they are different.

[Guest Aviannè_Annabella]

Yeah I'm mtf and am bisexual, i've actually been in a serious relationship with a GG (genetic girl) for over a year now. You said everything correct, Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation are completely unrelated!

[Guest Marlenx]

Ok this is harder then how it looks like.

I am a Trans and I am still a man, I like women, but I like them because I see myself as I would like to be. If I have to talk about sex, I have no preference and no I am not gay or straight, so probably I should call myself as bi-sex, but I have a wife and I do sex with her and I like it.

So .. what I am?

I think the answer is .. yes you are right "I sald that sex and gender, were two different things and doesnt relate to one or the other. "

What it makes the difference is love, and your mental attitude.

I feel/see myself as a woman and looking behind I see that my wifes (married 3 times) were all "masculine" ladies so also when I was not really aware of my state, at then end I was looking for a specific type of person. I am not talking about being weak or strong, but more about empathy.

Ok back to the point (sorry this topic still confuse me).

Let me try to be schematic may be this can help.

1) as a man do I like men ? No I like women

2) as woman do I like women? yes I do but I don't like to make sex with them as a man.

3) as woman do I like men? yes I do but I see them (normally) more as trolls then as humans

Humm so I can say I see myself as a woman, but I am not a gay, but I like both women and men.

Oh boy ! I should say I am lucky that I am in love with my wife that is both man/woman and I am safe from this confusion.

So let me say that, Gender is not relevant Sex is not relevant.

You need to be what you feel right, and you need to be in love with the right one, period.

Whatever come in the middle is noise.

kiss honey

[Guest GypsyXg]

I have this same issue with one of my parents (they are not together by the way). One when i explained everything and gave them the information so they could read more and understand, well my father understands very well and supports me all the way. On the other side my mother will only see black and white. She only see straight or gay. She doesn't want to hear anything else. She accepts it but still insists i'm gay. I finally told her to think whatever makes her ok with it. It doesn't influence me one way or the other how she accepts it.