Wife? or Husband?

[Guest kylie666]

Well me and my soon to be Wife was talking two nites ago about me and my goals for the future... Well we came to the understanding that it's not a matter of If i'll Transition but "When" ... with that said she needed time to think over things etc.

We talked today and she said, She never cared about what people thought about her or what people think or anything like that Before, But when she started getting into Teaching and trying to be a teacher, She had to take classed on "how to live your life" That's when she started caring, But now after understanding it more she gone back to the "I don't care what people think"

Anyways.... we was talking about all kind of things and 1 question came up..

Her: So... when we get married will you be my Wife? or Husband?

Me: Well really it's all in how you look at it... To the world/state etc i'll be your Husband, But Wife is cool with me to

Her: So.. When you Transition, If where sitting down eating and some one ask who you are do i say my Wife? or Husband?

Me: I don't care what you call me, If you want me to be your Husband i'll be your Husband If you want me to be your Wife i'll be your Wife

What do you guys/Girls think.... Would you want to be called there Wife or Husband?

ps... BTW i am kind of SUPER happy about 1 day being myself. I just hope it's soon

[MackenzieB]

A friend of mine uses the term "Soul Mate". Some people use "Significant other". I always thought that was best used as some kind of check box on a government form. Mine is my Wife. Maybe our term will change, doesn't really matter to me. We know who we are...

[Guest]

ps... BTW i am kind of SUPER happy about 1 day being myself. I just hope it's soon

Hi Kylie,

I do hope that the day of being yourself comes soon!

And then there's the wedding ceremony, "I pronounce you ____ and ____." What to do?

My soulmate and I disposed of the traditional husband/wife words. But then, my mother-in-law asked me what I should be, son-in-law or daughter-in-law? Daughter-in-law is more appropriate, but it always implies that there should be a son with the daughter-in-law. All of those comfortable ways of referring to a male/female marraige have gone out the window. Daughter's soulmate? That's the best I could do.

Interesting question! I hope others have better ideas.

Love, Megan

[Guest chngnwnd]

Some areas are very conservative over what is and is not acceptable conduct for a teacher. Parents can be funny and occasionally unreasonable - and exert lots of pressure on the school administration. I would use a gender neutral title - s/o or soulmate. Hopefully you won't have to deal with any of the potential unpleasantness or have a great environment like some. Also, I find the further I move through transition - male titles and references really irk me - something to consider.

hugs

Bobbi

[Guest Ariel Patterson]

I would prefer wife. My s/o, to my delight, refers to me as her girlfriend now. But I know that if she started calling me her boyfriend again it would irk me.

[Guest John Chiv]

Kylie,

I think the answer is in your own post. Whatever makes you and her happy.

The terms will change with each person and what they are comfortable with. If I change my single status in the future, I want a wife and I will be her husband.

That is how I have always referred to the women in my life with whom I had a long-term relationship. Partner, soulmate, significant other, I have used but that was because prior to transition and I was seen as gay. I always saw myself as male and so did the women that loved me. In life when I started accepting again that the reason bisexual and straight women were attracted to me was because they saw a man despite this body that the feelings I had buried resurfaced and I knew I had to transition.

You both share a deep love and I wish you the very best.

John

[Guest Mia J]

How about the word "spouse". This is how Betty and I tend to refer to each other in public. It has never caused an issue. In our real life I am probably more the wife but Betty would NEVER want to be called the husband. We live our lives as who we are. For professional reasons you do need to do what you need to do. It can get complicated but there are always ways around it.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

How about "Partner".....?

That seems fairly neutral to both people in the marriage/relationship....

Just thinkin' out loud....

Dee Jay

[Guest Jamie D]

What do you guys/Girls think.... Would you want to be called there Wife or Husband?

"Spouse" and "partner" are both gender neutral.

And you can always be her "girlfriend," as my wife calls me once in a while.

[Carolyn Marie]

This has come up in discussion between my wife and I. When we are with people we know, I either refer to her by her name, or as my wife. She refers to me as Carolyn, and never as her husband (I'm full time, if you didn't know). When talking with strangers, I often refer to her as my partner, if for no other reason than to avoid questions

On a side note, at home, my son calls me dad. In public, I am either Carolyn, or his parent.

It may seem complicated, but so far, it works.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest mdcausey]

In my our house I wear the skirts and my wife wears the paints, I stay at home and she goes to work... So in a way I'm the Wife and she is my Husband...

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

.

How about "Partner".....?

That seems fairly neutral to both people in the marriage/relationship....

Just thinkin' out loud....

Dee Jay

Agree with Dee Jay all the way. That's just me. Guess I'm not worried too much about labels; however, your question IS a very good one. Work it out YOUR way.

Lacey