Siblings...

[Guest raydub]

my sisters a d*ck.

ok, im just hurt and a little angry.

id left her a note at her house a week ago sunday and she got it the other day and called me last night about it. it wasnt good. she has tons more tact than my eldest sister - who just blew up on the phone a couple weeks ago - but she just said all the same stuff.. including telling me that im not a boy.. and even cried. that's gotta be some of her stuff.. not mine.

anyway, i feel like crap. im emotional. this "straw enhaler"s.

i hate to just send you to my blog but if really want to know whats racing through my head then just take a peep at today.

at work trying not to seeth.

Ray

[Guest jantonio]

Hey Ray hang in there man. The thing with family is that they may never understand it. I spoke with my sister, eventhough she said she accepted me as her brother she still doesn't understand it by the fact that she left me a stupid message on my cell.

Try not to let her get to you but I know that's easier said then done, trust me I feel almost helpless when it comes to the family. Just try to be strong, your sister eventually will come around. Just remember that she may never accept it or understand it and that's ok because it is your life and that's who you are.

Take care.

Jose Antonio....

[Guest Chrissie]

Hey Ray hang in there man. The thing with family is that they may never understand it. I spoke with my sister, eventhough she said she accepted me as her brother she still doesn't understand it by the fact that she left me a stupid message on my cell.

Try not to let her get to you but I know that's easier said then done, trust me I feel almost helpless when it comes to the family. Just try to be strong, your sister eventually will come around. Just remember that she may never accept it or understand it and that's ok because it is your life and that's who you are.

Take care.

Jose Antonio....

Families and Siblings are strange things because sometimes they aren't as oblivious as we think they are. When I told my brother he told "Yeah I sort of figured that out a long time ago... what took you so long to tell me?"

But when I told my Mom(who I figured would be the most understanding member, silly me) she went ballistic. And ranted how she had 2 boys and not one boy and one girl... I'm not telling my dad until I get this straightened out with my mom though.

I always recommend Honesty and sincerity in telling family members because for some silly reason that seems to help. But it doesn't Hurt to use a little blackmail as well... (especially if you have nieces and nephews or children.) Just don't over play the blackmail or no matter how much you spoil your sister's kids she wont want you around.

"Never argue with an idiot they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" -Unknown

[Guest Jackson]

You're not alone. Trust me.

I would have thought that my younger brother would have been cool with the idea of my "conversion". When I came out to my parents and him, he sat there looking like he was pretending that he wasn't there and that was it. I've not seen him since. (That's not unusual and it's only been since April. We don't talk much.)

I would have thought that he would have laughed or made some funny comment since he's quite the laid-back kind of guy. He's a prison guard at the prison where Jeffrey Dahlmer was. You would have thought he'd seen stranger things than this. And I know he has.

I've decided when dealing with my family both immediate and extended that I'll just kind of take their responses regarding this with a grain of salt. I refuse to let it bother me. Because I know what I'm doing is the right thing for me. And I just don't care what people think anymore. Even my family.

I love my family. Don't get me wrong. Blood is thicker than water. But you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. They will get over it. Eventually. Despite what my parents think, life will go on.

Jack

[Guest DZyg]

Hey Ray

hang in there and stay strong. I wish I had better advice or some words of wisdom. Like everyone else, all I can say is be patient, maybe they'll all come around.

I have two sisters who both know, but we never speak about it. The only cause for concern seems to be the confusion it may cause my nieces and nephews. I make it a point not to have them call me "aunt" or "uncle".

I have two brothers-in-law (in the ATL) and they are far less understanding or accomadating. Thank goodness for the distance between.

Keep your head up

Dino

[Guest CharlieRose]

"Never argue with an idiot they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" -Unknown

I'm pretty sure that's Mark Twain, awesomely sarcastic man he was. There's another one my english teacher has on his wall that goes, "First, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he created school boards."

Uh, I don't have anything to add, but I can commiserate a bit, I don't know what my older sister's going to do when I tell her, she's VERY straight and just... very NORMAL and gets uncomfortable with how weird I am sometimes. My little sisters understand, accept and love me for how odd I am, including the gender issues, (or, what they can detect of them) but my older sister... I really hope she doesn't cry.

(Also, odd coincidence, I'm listening to iTunes right now, and "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" just came on)

[Guest JayJaye]

Family. Love 'em or hate 'em.

My mother now doesn't want to go with me for top surgery after she said she would. Apparently Christmas, her church lady friends, and other people are far more important. But then, that's the story of my life.

I'm getting ready to send letters to my extended family, and I expect some fallout there.

All I know is that I have to be true to myself. And I'm not taking crap from anyone. My mother is peed I had a hysto. Like thousands of bio-women everywhere don't have this done daily. She wants me to grieve over the parts. Oh my goodness?? Two women I know IRL said their hysto day was one of the happiest in their life. And my hysto was NOT primarily trans-related. I had medical reasons and I put it off for 3 years. Of course having insurance and starting T made me decide to have it all out rather than saved. For what purpose?? Cancer waiting to happen. Not now.

Sorry, tangent!!

I feel for ya, Ray. We're here for you. Family will realize that they either accept us or lose us.

Jay

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Ray...man, I am so so sorry that your sisters aren't being more understanding. I read your blog, so I know the whole story. I'm sticking to what I told you in the PM...I bet the siblings will come around with a little time. Just remember, people say some pretty "out there" stuff when they are upset. My mom is a total drama queen sometimes. For whatever reason, she is level-headed with everyone but her kids. I've had fights with my mom where she's said horrible things in anger, things that she definitely didn't mean. I've had to learn not to take the things she says when she's angry all that seriously. That doesn't mean that what she says doesn't hurt a whole lot when I first hear it.

Hang in there, buddy. *pats shoulder in support*

If you need to talk, I'm usually just an email away. I'm one of those "perpetually at my desk" types who check their email 50 times a day. Also, if you decide you need to get out of the ATL...Tallahassee is perfectly boring this time of year.

[Guest Nekomata]

Ray, I read your blog. I'm so sorry, it sounds really tough. Hang in there.

JayeJaye, I think for some reason most 'normal' parents are obsessed with biological grandchildren, it's prolly why your mom was mad at your hysto.

[Guest femmym]

my sisters a d*ck.

ok, im just hurt and a little angry.

id left her a note at her house a week ago sunday and she got it the other day and called me last night about it. it wasnt good. she has tons more tact than my eldest sister - who just blew up on the phone a couple weeks ago - but she just said all the same stuff.. including telling me that im not a boy.. and even cried. that's gotta be some of her stuff.. not mine.

anyway, i feel like crap. im emotional. this "straw enhaler"s.

i hate to just send you to my blog but if really want to know whats racing through my head then just take a peep at today.

at work trying not to seeth.

Ray

hi ray,

sorry to hear that your sister has taking this so bad , im sure time will tell she will hopefully try and support you , it must have come as a mager shock to her and this is how she is dealing with it . good luck anyway.

[Guest JayJaye]

Ray, I read your blog. I'm so sorry, it sounds really tough. Hang in there.

JayeJaye, I think for some reason most 'normal' parents are obsessed with biological grandchildren, it's prolly why your mom was mad at your hysto.

Except that I already have 2 kids and I'm really too old to be having any more. Really. If I were 20 she'd have a point. But I'm not.

Jay

[Guest Huff]

Hey man,

I can totally relate. Sometimes I just want to reach through the phone, grab them by the throat and say "accept me, Gosh darned-it!" which, of course, would really only make it worse, but it might feel good.

MK