Women at work

[Guest Ariel Patterson]

I do apologize for multiple topics. But I feel each one is different enough to warrant a topic instead of lumping them all into one half a page long post that no one would want to read.

I consider my job to be my second home. When you start working here you are in it for the long haul. Most of the people working here have been here for 7+ years and some for 15 years. My co workers are like family and I consider them some of my closest friends.

A few months ago I expressed to my Store Manager my desire to be a woman at work and what the process would be to do so. I was getting tired of having to come in early just so I could change back into a male (including removing my bra and breasts ) and putting on the companies male uniform. And constantly being called my male name and male pronouns that I've come to despise so much.

I have been with the company for over 5 years now, been promoted to manager, received awards from the company as well as from my employees and co workers, have constant compliments on my excellent service sent to company and even been complimented by the Vice President of the company on my knowledge and ability to adapt. So I feel like I am in a good position in my job for it.

It was a busy month, the DM's mother fell extremely ill and she was taking time off to see her in the hospital, and my Store Manager would be away for 3 weeks out of the month at conferences and job training. But she promised she would ask the HR heads if she did not receive an answer by the time she left for the conference.

And she was true to her words. She knows how much I want this and how serious I am about it. And she supports me in every way. The company is not against it, but will need time to ready "scripts" to use when explaining things to any inquiring guests or employees and so that if there were any negative reactions we would know how to handle the situation the way the company would like us to.

She helped me open the store a few mornings ago and had a chat with me about it. She knows this is what I want and she understands that I just want to work and be the real me. She asked me to be sure that it is what I wanted, because once I do this there is no going back. That if I wake up late and don't have time to feminize, I will just have to be late. That eventually someone will have a negative reaction, feel the need to voice their opinion, or may even get violent and/or disruptive and that I'm ready, mentally and emotionally, for that.

She also explained that the company has told her that it is not her responsibility to be concerned for my well being and doesn't need to or should not be involved in it. That my safety should not be any of her concern. I have to admit I find that a little heartless for a company that is supposed to be so much more than just a corporation. But she was going to ignore them because she was not just my boss, but my friend. She told me that she is here to help me and to not be afraid to talk to her about any concerns.

I'm nervous and a little scared. Nervous about whether or not guests will treat me as a woman. Scared that I might be heckled or verbally abused by guests. But at the same time happy and looking forward to the future because I know that even though its gonna be a bumpy road, its a lot brighter and still less bumpy than the road I was on before.

Heres to soon presenting full-time female, even at work.

[Guest rynae]

five years working for the company and a manager that is very impressive. Plus your pushing to be all out as your true self kudos to you.

Its absolutely understandable why you would be nervous and scare and if it was me i would difinitely feel that pressure your talking about. Mind you that i had never done what you done which is outing yourself at work or anywhere for that matter. As long as you stand your ground there should be nothing to worry about. Also people just like you who is outing themselve at work is one heck of an inspiration or at least for me anyway.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Ariel:

Good for you to have such a boss and work at such a company. Agreed that they should be more concerned about your safety, but they're doing what ALL companies do: Avoid possible legal hassles by saying this. They don't want to get sued, so that say this to her about you.

Look, I'm just curious. Are you on female hormones? Do you plan to be? Actually, it doesn't matter, because it's your life and you do what you want to do. I'm just saying that female hormones take time to work, but they DO work. My point is that taking them will help you pass very, very much. However, only YOU can decide to take them or not.

My best to you!

Lacey

[Carolyn Marie]

Ariel, I understand your impatience to do this, and I know you've been presenting as female outside of work for several months. But you either aren't on hormones yet or just started, so won't have the advantage of even a few months of feminizing before you go full time. What about facial hair, hon? Have you completed LHR, or started it, or are you partway through. How is your voice? Do you plan on wearing breast enhancers?

I'm not asking these questions to throw cold water on your plans. I am just trying to make sure you've thought all of this through, because I want you to succeed. It will be tough on you emotionally if you don't pass well. You know better than I ever could if you are ready, and you do sound determined and prepared. I've seen too many examples of people who thought they were, but were not really ready for all that came with the decision.

You have great support from your manager, and that's wonderful. I wish you the best of luck.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Ariel Patterson]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I am not on female hormones yet but plan to by the end of this month (I know I said that once before, but this time I mean it!). I'm actually going to try and see about getting started on Friday or Saturday if I run out of time filling out Registration forms and sliding scale qualification forms. My voice is not the best but I never sounded too male to begin with. Its enough that sometimes I pass and other times I do not, but more than enough to keep people from using male pronouns even when not presenting. I have a feminine figure already (except my broad shoulders, my flat butt, and thin but muscular arms) and do plan to wear breast enhancers. I understand that hormones will take time before there are any effects.

I don't plan on this being an immediate thing. And it may not happen until some time next month or the month after. And I'm okay with that. So long as its getting started.

Thanks to my genes I do not grow much body hair, though I do shave my upper-lip and chin semi-daily to avoid those small hairs that do manage to grow. My legs and arms are also not naturally hairy and only require shaving once every week or two.

I do intend to start LHR, but due to money restraints I can not at this time. I'm not too concerned about it right now as its more of a convenience than a necessity right now.

I don't feel like your throwing cold water on me. And I know, when the word comes down, that I can still decide that I want to wait just a little longer.

[Guest Svenna]

Good luck, Ariel!

You have some steel ovaries, that's for sure...

Svenna

[Guest Syrra]

Good luck, Ariel! Great to see someone else braving the RLE thing at work before hormones, like I did!

I started HRT last week... I've been living as my true self since...February? beginning of, anyway.

I have been 24/7, all female to the world-at-large (except where id forces me to out myself) since then, including work. I slowly told people I trusted first, then others...to build a solid base of support from within the company. Then went to HR, then the owner of the company. My legal docs get started in a couple weeks...but most at work already refer to me as Syrra. I love it. Even two of my credit card companies did me a huge favor and issued to me a card with Syrra R Coventry on it without the requirement of an accompanying SS#.

It is VERY possible to do, but you have to take your time, test the waters, and see how people respond. Your boss was right, though...there is no going back, once you have come out to everyone. Well, technically, there is, but you will already have impressed on people that you are a woman and not a man. Changing that back, after the fact, can cause some adverse reactions you may not be ready for...

As long as you are sure this is the course for you, then do things as it feels right to you to do them. Keep that boss as a friend, as much as possible. It sounds like you have an ally there at work. Cherish that. It can be your best defense.