Probably been asked a few times

[Guest Nikki_R]

Hi everyone!

Okay. So I'm looking for a gender therapist. They're expensive as far a grad student with no insurance goes.

How many sessions does one need before you move onto HRT? I feel awful for saying this because it may sound arrogant but I am not being that, I don't need a GT to tell me what I am. I need a GT to send me on my way to stop the dissonance in my mind that has wrecked my life since I was born. So the fewer 150 dollar an hour sessions the better, but the sooner I'm on the way all the more better.

xoxo

Nikki

[VickySGV]

There are no set numbers of sessions for therapy before getting a referral for HRT.

What is necessary is for the therapist to get to know you and to be professionally convinced of your need for the HRT. It will be faster and less painful financially if you are open and honest with the therapist and are there to accept therapy and discovery of your condition and not to tell the therapist how to do their job. Some therapists will give an HRT referral in as few as a single session, but don't try to rush or snow them, others will want two sessions over a few weeks time, but again, this depends on the patient. The possibility is that they could also put off a decision for several sessions over a number of months. They are professionals with professional judgment to use and not technicians who can do a check list and hand out the paper.

From what I have read of your other posts, I am pretty sure that you will not need many sessions since you will present as a sincere and thoughtful client, but thats just my guess.

[Guest Nikki_R]

Thank you Vicky!

I was crossing my fingers hoping to hear something like that. I'm a broke graduate student and the idea of months on end at 150 dollars a pop was making me sick to my stomach. No desire do I have to try and fool a GT. I'm going in me, and I know me, so I'm hoping they can see me before my purse is empty.

Thank you for the reply, that was a nice pick me up!

xoxo

Nikki

[Guest Svenna]

Nikki,

If you go to an experienced gender therapist they will know what to do about many things that you may have never considered. To be able to judge whether transitioning in any way will be a help to you, your therapist will require a detailed knowledge of your life history, full understanding on your emotional and psychological condition and be able to screen you for potential psychiatric co-cobditions. You aren't sub-contracting a handyman here, you are entering into a formal, therapeutic relationship with a highly skilled, professionally trained professional. One must surrrender to the process if one wants to attain full benefit of the relationship. For many trans people, a gender therapist is the absolute first person in the world that they have ever met who actually recognizes their authentic selves. You will learn to cherish the time spent with such a person!

Now, as to your question:

I have been to 5 sessions and my HRT letter was faxed out during my last session. I'm waiting for a call from the HRT doc to schedule my 'consultation'. I will likely leave that appointment with a prescription for Spiro...yay!

My GT offers a sliding scale for low income clients and I qualified for 1/2 price. The initial meeting was a bit more than subsequent regular visits, but I've spent less than $500 so far and I am 'on my way'...

I wanted the script from day one, but I am miles happier now that I've actually done the internal exploratory work that the sessions required. This is a HUGE thing, even if one just needs a little HRT to be well and prosper. One is well advised to go slowly and surely. As a result, one is less likely to second guess oneself as the transition process gets further along.

Just stay true, open and honest. You will get to where you are going by following your heart. Best of luck to you!

Love and resolve, Svenna

[Guest Aly Kat]

I went to 6 iirc and they were around $90 each-ish...

Transition has been pretty expensive, and having a budget + a plan is 1000% necessary... that was actually part of my therapy (timeline & financial planning)

[MackenzieB]

It WAS a minimum of 90 days. I think the latest release of DSM shows some sort of "competency in patient" aspect instead of a calendar date. Please do not quote me on that. I've had a couple therapists in the past who have completely agreed on my introduction as a TS within 30 minutes on the first meeting.

So... get a wishy-washy cheap one who might milk you for sessions for months? Or get a good one that through experience pegs ya the first time around the block?

I think that only you have the answer. In reality a therapist will only confirm or deny what you already think of yourself.

So, accordingly... what are YOU trying to do? Are you in discontent with life? How many times a day, or week, do you think about your issue? Once a month? Once a week? Every day and all day long? Personally, my self discontent and outright self hate is a constant factor in my Life. Every day and all day long I think about my situation.

Is that you?

No wrong answer on this one. NONE AT ALL! But search within yourself and figure out Who, and what, you are. If you're not sure that's really just fine. Then a therapist will help you sort it all out (a good one anyway).

Don't know a good one? Is there a support group in your area? That would be an excellent source for a reference.

But when you see that therapist, tell all. EVERYTHING. Got caught wearing Mama's panties when you were 10? Fine... TELL THEM. It's background info and being honest on everything, regardless of how trivial or embarrassing really only helps you.

And ya know what?

They've already heard it all before if they've been in the business a couple of years.

[Guest Nikki_R]

Hi everyone!

Thanks for so many replies over night!

In other posts I mention a little bit more about me. For what it is worth I'm trained in math and science. Currently finishing my masters in math this year and off to into a physics masters next year. Then following that I'm strongly considering the MD/PHD programs with biophysics towards gene therapy. That said I understand full well the importance of accuracy and honesty. (Makes me think they might see lots of dishonest people then. Trust me, I never wanted this problem. I'd throw my whole hand back not to have this card in it.) Thank you for the warnings though! I had no intentions of being dishonest.

I was holding my breath to not hear this, "it will take you 3 months meeting once or twice a week". And I was having a hard time seeing how I could even afford that with 150 dollar sessions. As suggested above, my personal preferences in life are quality over quantity. With that said in the STL area I'm still trying to figure out which GT is best for me in that regard. Probably will call them all this week if that is possible, dunno.

I've done some crazy things like I mentioned elsewhere. Never been a cross dresser really. There was a small period of sneaking around wearing my wife's clothes and I loved it, but couldn't continue because of the dislike of my body and how bad it made my personal gender dissonance kick in. As far as CD goes, I've always considered my "guy" clothes to be CD, honestly. I've always thought of myself as a female, not once and a blue moon but all day everyday, and tried for decades to be a male to suppress it - which lead to some really dumb decisions on my part. I never succeed in becoming male in my mind (and I tried everything). Now that I've come out and reconnected with my 4~5 year old self, I'll stop at nothing to have what I need to keep my sanity.

On my end I've started to do little things. Starting with the nails (wonder how many MTFs start with the nails?). Mannerisms are back. I have always had a natural female speech style too. Which I wore my true self around town yesterday and not caring what people thought (felt good to not hide myself for once). Been running 3.5 miles a day for a few times a week (have to get rid of the outcome of the dark years - mentioned elsewhere). Hair removal soon too, regardless of HRT yet. In the mail are all my voice training things/books. Came out to the people I live with this past week (in-laws and they were totally accepting and supporting.)

And looking for a job. It has been a rule of mine to not work and be a student in mathematics, but this is too important to me now. Even if I suffer a smidgen in grades but still pass it is worth it to get this ball rolling. Indeed, I agree I know this is going to be expensive.

Thank you so much for the thoughtful replies!!

Nikki

[Guest]

Hi Nikki,

I go to a clinic that works on a sliding scale, and, judging from some of the clientele (homeless folk), I think their scale goes all the way to the bottom. Do ask about it - it never hurts!

Dishonesty with a therapist does happen, frequently, because for many of us, the truth is buried under many layers of shame. It's not dishonesty so much as the truth being too frightening to face.

I do wish you well on your journey and with your studies! Please let us know how it goes!

Love, Megan

[Guest Edu]

Just to provide some contrast, from the other side of the pool:

- Each therapy session costs me 0€. That's the good thing about Spain's public health system (medical assistance is free and guaranteed for all citizens).

- Each session is barely 30 minutes (often even less), and there is around 2 months between sessions. That's the bad thing about Spain's public health system (there is a limit to what the public budget can afford).

- My therapist is a "general" therapist, not a gender specialist. Actually, by the standards of our public health system, "psychology" is the maximum specialization one can ask for.

- I started therapy on April 2009 (around 15 sessions since then), and (apparently) I'm not any closer to starting HRT yet. Actually, the therapy has helped me to sort out many issues, it's just that progress on the gender issues is going painfully slow. (Ok, I'll admit that my lack of ability to express feelings and emotions is partly at fault; but wouldn't a therapist's job to help digging that out?)

I hope you can go faster through the process, but just wanted to highlight how much things can vary depending on too many factors.