Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Horrible, Disgusting Beasts Of Burden!


Guest Father Ford

Recommended Posts

Guest harvester52

I am so FED UP WITH BREASTS! I can't even stand the feel of having them there, I am so DISGUSTED with my physical self because of THOSE! I won't actually do this, but there's been many times where a thought crosses my head to go get a steak knife and get rid the foreign bodily objects that don't belong there. Any time I don't have my binder on, I can barely take it to stand up because they show, I can't stand to walk because they move and I feel them... UGH! SO GROSS!

And here's the worst part of it... I have no money, which means no paying for a therapist, which means no hormones, surgery, etc. My parents have no money, so they can't pay for a therapist. I'm completely and totally STUCK and I HATE IT.

-BC

Link to comment

Vent on bro.

I can totally relate. I used to get into it with my s/o cause I never wanted to NOT be bound. I won that battle and now she just dislikes it to herself and leaves me out of it.

One day at a time BC...keep doing the things you need to do to take care of yourself in the mean time and youll get there. The money will come - even if it takes a while. Take care of yourself man and keep venting.. its good for you. ;)

love

Ray

Link to comment
Guest jantonio

Yep, I know what you mean about those 2 flying objects. I can't even look at myself in the mirror showing those twins. I can't wait for my surgery to remove them and go topless on the beach. :D

Hang in there man, you're still young and have plenty of time to save money. Wishing you the best. :)

Jose Antonio...

Link to comment
Guest StrandedOutThere

BC,

I am so sorry, man. I totally have felt what you are feeling right now. Ever since I can remember, I have worn a really tight bra all the time. I never take it off, not even to sleep....just for showering. The feeling of "movement" just gets to me. My tumors are giant and I can't really bind. I've tried a few different ways, but nothing seems to work. Man...I don't know anything to say that will help much, but I so know where you are coming from.

Take heart, you are a young guy. If you are determined, you will eventually be able to save up enough money to get therapy and top surgery. The good news is, compared to other surgeries, top surgery doesn't cost that much. It's still expensive, but not like a hysto or anything.

On the therapy front, I think I might be able to help a little. Most cities/counties in the US have state run mental health clinics that will see you. If you don't have money, then a lot of them will let you pay on a sliding scale. What that means is that they change how much they charge you based on how much money you make. If you are really poor, sometimes you can see a therapist for free. I forget what state you live in, but most states have a service like this. Sometimes the therapists you get aren't so good, but other times they are great. You're 18, aren't you? If you are, then you can go to one of these clinics without your parents or anything.

Stay strong!

Link to comment
Guest Chrissie

Just remember that there are plenty of MTFs that would trade with you in a heartbeat if it were possible. One man's burden is a woman's treasure... (well you get the Idea...)

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P

Chrissie

Link to comment
Guest CharlieRose

I sleep on my stomach, and every once in a while, I'll realize I can feel them under me. Then I groan and put my face into my pillow. I'm lucky enough to have inherited really tiny ones; I don't really have to bind if I wear a loose shirt. But still. They're all.. gross.

Link to comment

I've been having similar issues just recently so know how you feel. I've put on some weight and either they have grown...or i'm just noticing them more i'm not sure which but i'm noticing them ALOT more, i thought many times about getting a knife and cutting them off! I once had a dream that i cut a little hole and just basicly braught loads of tissue out of them and then stitched it back up and i had a male chest.....If oonly it was that easy :(

Link to comment
I've been having similar issues just recently so know how you feel. I've put on some weight and either they have grown...or i'm just noticing them more i'm not sure which but i'm noticing them ALOT more, i thought many times about getting a knife and cutting them off! I once had a dream that i cut a little hole and just basicly braught loads of tissue out of them and then stitched it back up and i had a male chest.....If oonly it was that easy :(

I know just how you feel. I have fairly small ones, but they've been growing lately and ever day I just look at them and go "ugh. Go away." But of course, they need to. Still, I looked up prices today and theirs a place here in Florida that does Top surgery for only $5700. It's a lot, I know, but its so much less than I thought it would be.

Link to comment

Suffering and gnashing of the teeth...I feel ya.

If they just "moved" it would be horrible enough but "swinging around" ? :( Thank God for the good individual who created binders. And I'm sayin personal prayers for all chest reconstuction surgeons.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest GoldenKirbichu

Argh, I hate my chest too.

It's bad enough having small breasts and being a fat guy (so I look gynecomastic); it'll be worse if I lose more weight and start getting the HORRIBLE curves again >_____< and they won't even think of testosterone until I'm slimmer.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 56 Guests (See full list)

    • Karen Carey
    • KatieSC
    • Lydia_R
    • SamC
    • VickySGV
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Betty K
    • Susie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,103
    • Most Online
      8,356

    BUGFIEND
    Newest Member
    BUGFIEND
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bobbijean
      Bobbijean
    2. Bryan
      Bryan
      (61 years old)
    3. jlw5ju
      jlw5ju
      (27 years old)
    4. ladykirabellum
      ladykirabellum
      (47 years old)
    5. Lizzie17
      Lizzie17
  • Posts

    • Adrianna Danielle
      Having to call the police on a woman that was being a Karen.Was in my shop fixing my car and wanted me to fix hers.Told her it was my personal shop and told her no.Would not take no for an answer and called the police.I did decide to press trespassing charges on her.I knew she was one of those entitled people
    • Ivy
      It is scary, (and as you say, thrilling) at first.  But the more you do it the easier it gets.  I dress fem 24/7 (almost always skirts and dresses) and I live in a conservative county of a "red state".   Sure, there are places I avoid, but I have little desire to be there anyway.  It gets to just be part of who you are.   My experience is that most people don't care, some are curious, and surprisingly many (usually other women) friendly.   The first steps are the hardest.  It's similar with bathrooms.
    • Ivy
      Don't know how this posted itself.  To continue…   There was a time when I tried to make excuses for them.  But I am coming to the realization that in their eyes, I, and those like me, are 2nd class citizens at best.
    • Ivy
      There is a rather large part of the GOP that is determined to strip the rights of trans citizens, despite us being a small minority, some with families, who work, pay taxes, and who do - and have served in our armed forces, are medics, nurses, etc.   They insist that the US is a "christian country" - referring to their particular brand of christianity.  And this is despite the constitution, that they claim near worship of, expressly prohibiting this very thing.    
    • Lydia_R
      Oregon has a law that allows you to change your name and gender once in your lifetime without involving the courts.  It took me about 2.5 months to complete and was relatively easy.  It came up yesterday about how I changed my gender on my ID to F instead of X.  I identify with M->F, not X.  I passed over the line into F, but I'm still near the middle in the spectrum.  And I intend to keep going in the F direction.  There is another transwoman named Rachel Rand who is about 10 years older than me and I use her as a model for where I want to be in 10 years.   I'm a proud Gen X'er, but it's based on latchkey arcade games, not gender.
    • Lydia_R
      I never met me GT in person.  I started off by dressing in my LBD going to fast food and drive thru coffee.  The first time I ventured out of the car, I was wearing a tight fitting long black dress with hose and heels to the ATM.  No one saw me and it was a good step to take.  I still love that dress and was wearing it last week.  I have learned to accept my male bulge in a feminine way thinking of it being like a teenage girl who's breasts are coming in and how that must feel when being in public.  Nothing I can do about it and I'm not into wearing some pleated skirt to hide it because I'm not into that style.
    • Lydia_R
      Wow, talk about big data!  I think I'd geek out on those vectors.  Politically, that idea is pretty sick.  Artistically....  Gotta have something to do with your time.  It's low impact work.
    • Lydia_R
      Although there certainly is just flat out racist hate in this, I tend to ignore that kind of thing and think of it from an economic standpoint.   I've seen some reports of the Chinese being afraid of their men becoming weaker and becoming less able to do hard, manual labor.  Of course that is just sexist BS on some level (my first wife does professional construction work), there is undoubtedly a weakening that goes with the M->F thing.  I feel it within my body.   In my opinion, it's just old school economics of a growing economy.  Like Vaclov Smil is suggesting, maybe we should give up on the idea of growth:   https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/sep/21/vaclav-smil-interview-growth-must-end-economists   I believe this old school growing economy is over and there is nothing anyone can really do about it.  Like a river, we just need to go with the flow and not fight it.  My roommate is talking about the idea of the country splitting up in to regions.  Perhaps there is some sense in that?  Two of my trans roommates this year came from the mid-south specifically for trans healthcare here.  We all like it here in Portland.  It isn't perfect.  Ironically, it could be much more accepting here.  But all the trans people I know here say that we are not leaving.  Because of my career, it is almost certain I will have to move by the end of the year, but I'll likely be coming back when my job is completed.  My house is 4 miles from the transgender hospital too.  I've had the fantasy for years about being a halfway house for people having surgeries.  I get this feeling that it is going to become a strange episode of M*A*S*H.  I guess I'm just going to go with the flow on this.  Fighting the tow of the moon and all that.
    • Ladypcnj
      Yes, its common in gender therapy, my therapist was similar the same way, I should embrace my femineity. I came out in my childhood years. It was the first time my parents took me clothes shopping; I ran on over to the girl's department when I was a kid, some of us already knew we are girls. Okay, now let's bring things up to 2024, how to get past your fear? For starters, you can watch fashion shows or look around your surroundings outside to see what other women are wearing today. Take out your notebook to write things down such as red top, black jeans, earrings, boots or sneakers.. okay you get the general idea. Since I was already dating x-girlfriend at the time, shopping for female clothes during the holiday, was supper easy, if anyone asked me.. I just said I'm getting these clothes for my girlfriend, and it worked like a charmed.    Another to get past the fear without leaving home, you can try online shopping, you would need to measure waist area, and height .. this might come with trial and error since there is no dressing room. 
    • Lydia_R
      I'm not sure how much you can really help anyone, but I have enjoyed opening my house up to trans people this year.   Including myself, there have been 4 transgender people living in my one bedroom house.  And there is one cis gendered male here.  All of us have experienced homelessness.  Not just a couple days either, but significant homelessness.  Since I was homeless for 4 years 20 years ago, I've always wanted to be in a position where I could open up my house like this.  For whatever reason, I am the only trans person in the house right now, but it seems that others are on the way.  I have a desire to keep my house running like this for the foreseeable future.   I had a retired Scientologist counselor helping me out when I was in my 4 year homeless period.  I can't even imagine how I would have survived without her.  When I was living in those cars and vans, I'd have periods of a week or two where I'd stay with her and have adventures.  I'd get some better food.  She was on SSI, so we would go to the food bank.  I got turned onto cauliflower from the food bank.  I'd get my laundry done and then I'd have some time studying on the computer.  I slept on the living room floor with a sleeping bag.  My Dirty Pot and Igotarock compositions where made on the floor of that apartment.  I just put my gear on the floor and recorded my bass sitting on the floor.  I had made the drum machine parts while I was sleeping in my GEO Metro.  She kicked my out on New Years Eve going into 2004.  I had just been a mad scientist doing math and that was the best thing for me at the time.  a/b=c/d   So yes, you can help if you use some balance with it.
    • Mirrabooka
      @awkward-yet-sweet I hope you get to go on the trip! I'm assuming from what you wrote that your husband is a trucker. I know what it's like to have diesel in your veins, to sit in a cab for hours on end enjoying the scenery and listening to the music of a big engine, it's pretty awesome and there's nothing quite like it.   @Birdie When ya gotta go, ya gotta go! I hope your state laws catch up with reality one day, but I won't hold my breath waiting.   Well, we might have a bit of an awkward situation happening here soon. It's our 40th anniversary this July and last week we finally decided to do something to celebrate it by going on an interstate getaway to a city which we love, Hobart. Flights are booked and paid for, accommodation in a nice hotel booked, a day cruise while we are there booked and paid for, etc. Meanwhile, our son and DIL dropped in yesterday with our 2mo granddaughter. We told them that we finally got off our behinds and booked a trip and everyone was happy. Then, they told us about our granddaughters' baptism which was organized for June 9th. No worries, we'll be there!    Fast forward a few hours and DIL contacted us to say that June 9th was off because one of the God parents isn't available, and the *only* alternative is for the weekend that we are away! Grrrr! So why couldn't they choose a later date? Because baby might grow out of her outfit by then! I know what will probably happen, there will be a heated discussion and to keep the peace we will once again cave in to the demands of others who never stop wanting a piece of us and we will end up canceling our trip.   First world problem I know, but we're getting pretty frustrated since my retirement last year that we can't seem to do anything for ourselves for more than a day or two at a time.
    • April Marie
      Oh, gorgeous!! Thank you for the link!!!
    • KatieSC
      April, Those are beautiful. You may want to check out the offerings from this company, Trisha Waldron Designs. I discovered her jewelry a few years ago when I was at the Rapid City Regional Airport in Rapid City, SD. They have a gift shop there that had her jewelry. See link: https://trishawaldrondesigns.com/home/
    • Mmindy
      I love that @April Marie smiles. 
    • April Marie
      Discovering a woman in the mirror.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...