First Session wtih GT is Tomorrow

[Guest OutOfSorts180]

Well...my very first session with a GT is tomorrow morning. I am a combination nervous and excited. Nervous because part of can't believe I'm really going to go through with this. Excited because this will be the very first concrete step towards becoming the true me. I can't wait.

I'll update you all tomorrow night as to how things go.

So...wish me luck as I start my female journey!

[Guest Shari]

I am very excited for you. Just be yourself and it will be okay.

Keep us posted.

Hugs,

Shari

[~Nova~]

Best of luck. We'll be waiting for your exciting report.

Autumn

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

I hope it goes well for you.

Gabe

[Guest Sanjiyan]

I felt the same way. It was probably the best thing I could have done.

Best of luck.

Love,

-Lena

[Carolyn Marie]

Best wishes, hon. I won't wish you luck, because you don't need it. I just hope you two hit it off. Tell us all about it, OK?

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest OutOfSorts180]

Hi All:

First of all, thanks to everyone for their well wishes.

I did have my first session this morning. I thought it went very well. The GT was understanding/supportive, knowledgeable and was very easy to talk to/with. I didn't feel nervous at all and I was very open. I answered all of his questions and he mine.

As we talked, it wasn't a one way conversation. He shared (at a high level), experiences of others that he has treated when those paralleled my own. He also mentioned that he has a number of transsexual friends and does understand the needs of those of us who want to transition.

He helped me understand what some of the costs would be and has recommendations for a lawyer to help me with any legal matters that might come up. And in fact, the lawyer is also a MTF woman.

He explained that his overall approach before he would write any letters of recommendation for HRT and later, for surgeries would be dependent upon his assessment of whether or not I really understood what would happen, not only to me, but to those around me -- family, friends and co-workers. In fact, when the time comes (not IF!), he would help me in preparing how to say what would need to be said.

As for overall timing, the initial letter for HRT could be in 1 or 2 months. But again, based on his assessment of me.

He told me that part of his job is NOT to try to cure me of being a TS, but to truly help me understand who I am and then to help me become "me!"

Bottom line, I am encouraged!!!!

Next session is next Tuesday. A 2 hour session, where he takes more time to get my overall history, including medical. Then back to 1 hour sessions. Of course, the only "minor" drawback is that he costs $150/hour. Short term, I can handle the costs. So hopefully it won't be too many sessions before he feels I'm ready for HRT and start cutting back on the sessions.

The other thing is, until I come out, I have to sneak around to do these sessions. Luckily his office is fairly close to mine, so most of the time, it shouldn't be a problem. But this coming Tuesday, he only had a time late in the afternoon. So...I'm going to have to tell the wife that I have a "meeting" that is running over.

The only "bad" thing is I feel somewhat guilty that I'm "pretending" everything is hunky dory with the wife and family. Doing things around the house like nothing is happening. So...I know that even though it will be emotionally hard, it will also finally be liberating when I come out.

Later my friends!

[Guest Mia J]

I am happy that your first session went so well. I think that for most of us it is just such a relief to be talking to someone who really understands. I hope the next one also goes well

Mia

[Guest Shari]

That is really wonderful news.

I know what you mean about the appointments. For the first few months, I saw my GT every other Friday at 4. My calendar isn't private and I had to indicate I was busy, so I just used her initials. My assistant commented one Friday that I had a free afternoon except for that "JD thing".

It feels so liberating to talk to someone. I hope your next visit is just as good as your first.

Shari

[Guest OutOfSorts180]

And...what might complicate things for me is that my son is applying for a job at my company. He needs a job and I hope he gets it. If he gets the job, I would expect that we would car-pool to work. So...how to meet my GT without him finding out. That could be a concern. And to top that off, my wife, who has been out of work for the last 2 years might go back to work in January. You guessed it. At the same company. She actually worked at the company before I met her and now one of her good friends/co-workers is seriously considering hiring her back in January.

I really hope "things" move along more quickly. I'd like to be on HRT for a few weeks before coming out to my family. Then, I wouldn't have to sneak around any more. Of course, I'd have to deal with the possible anger, etc, but...at least no sneaking around.

So now I'm excited, anxious and apprehensive.

And...just curious, what has been everyone's experience as far as how many GT sessions you attended before the GT recommended HRT?

Thanks always for everyone's support!

[Guest Mia J]

It sure sounds like you are having some snags on the path to your GT.

As far as the number of sessions. That will depend on both your therapist and you. The average used to be around three months but with the new standards it could be less at this time.

The first time I did gender therapy in the 90s it took around 6 months. This time it took only three sessions in about a month and a half. But my history was the main reason it was shorter for me this time.

Mia

[Guest OutOfSorts180]

Here is a bit of an update with regards to my GT sessions.

Yesterday, I had my 4th session. We primarily talked about what impacts my decision would have on my wife and my kids. For example, will she be angry? Supportive? What about our marriage? Finance, including my job? What will her friends think of her when they find out she no long has a 'husband'? Will she think she's a lesbian?

As for the kids, we explored things like, when my daughter starts her family, will my grand kids have 2 grandmothers? How will my youngest daughter feel when she get's married and doesn't have her father to walk her down the aisle?

In any case, I appreciated the questions as all of these will come up. It's good not to be surprised by what questions might be asked.

AND...as we were wrapping up the session I asked the GT how well he thought these sessions were coming along. He said, he thinks I'm just about ready to start HRT and in fact, suggested I go ahead and make an appointment with an endocrinologist that he works with, anytime after Dec. 9th (meaning 2 more GT sessions) and that i was to tell them I would have a referral letter by then. SO...approximately 3 more weeks and YAY ---- I will hopefully be starting HRT. I'm still anxious, but now extremely excited. I got butterflies in my stomach. These next 3 weeks will seem like forever.. Can't wait!

[Carolyn Marie]

It sounds like you have an excellent therapist, hon. He has raised some good issues and got you thinking, and prepared. Congrats on your progress. Please keep us posted, OK?

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest OutOfSorts180]

Thanks Carolyn for your encouragement. It means a lot to me.

I have to admit that during Thanksgiving lunch (which we hosted at my house), all I could think about was what is everyone here going to think when I finally come out? And what will that do to my relationships with all of them? Or for that matter, my son...we had his girlfriend and her parents over as well. What will they think? Will they think it's so weird that they'll tell their daughter to stop dating my son? So...I waiver just a bit when I ask myself these questions. But...I then think about how I really hate not being able to live as "me." And I'm back on board with my decision.

All I know is that for me, the real moment of truth will be when I get the hormones and take my first dose. As I mentioned before, these next 2+ weeks are going to be torturous and will feel agonizingly slow. Pray for me to have patience, strength and perseverance to get through these next couple of weeks. Sigh.