Body Language And Clothing

[Guest HmmMaybe]

So, I'm completely new to this whole thing... and young, only turning 15 in several months. So I've got a lot of time to get used to things, basically - and a lot of time to change my mind if that happens. But I was wondering how to pass with things such as body language - posture, hands, etc. The clothes is easy enough, and I'm only a B so wearing loose clothes and a tight bra or binding is really no problem. But my face is a little feminine, which could be a problem, but wearing the right clothes, hair [which is medium boy's length], etc is quite likely to make me pass as I'm not excessively feminine. It is just the posture, the way to hold your legs, how to sit, wear to put your hands and so on that bothers me.

A typical feminine way to sit is with knees together. Or one leg over the other. How do I go about avoiding things like this?

Many thanks.

[Guest CharlieRose]

The way one of my male friends put it was: Guys love their crotches. They keep their legs open as much as possible, usually. When I tried packing for the first time, I figured out why. It's kind of uncomfortable to close yourself off with something there, you gotta give it some room! Some older or effeminate guys cross their legs, but sitting with your legs far apart is a good tool to help pass. For every other sort of action, ie. walking, talking, I imagine that I have weights tied to my wrists and ankles; guys don't move their hands around as much or as often, and the general position is their hands dangling limply at their sides.

[Guest Cody_T]

well I can't say i'm an expert in these matters, but for sitting you should never put your legs together... spread them about to the edges of the chair, lean backward, and keep your legs far in front of you. It's acceptable (as in, I've seen a lot of guys doing this) to cross one foot/ankle over the other, as long as you keep good separation between your legs. Hands are good on your thighs or crossed over your chest. At school, guys are more likely to tip their chairs back on two legs (although, if you fall off, I didn't tell you that), and it is an exceedingly comfortable way to sit. If you want to lean forward, a masculine way I've noticed is to put your forearms on your legs and clasp your hands, placing your weight on that. Even if you're at a desk, doing that underneath it rather than resting on the desk is more masculine.

As for walking, I'm really not sure about that. I've heard that guys don't really walk with their hips (although i'm not sure where), and from observation I can see this is kind of true; as a result, their backpacks bounce more with their steps, because they step straight out and the hips are forced to turn in response rather than how girls do it smoothly. Their legs also appear longer i think. I just don't let my calves fall far behind my knees (aka, when I bend them instead of kicking back I go a bit forward), and I think it's not too bad. Also, there's a little more space between the legs I think.

so that's basically what I've observed since I started watching... I'm not entirely sure of it, but it might be a starting off point. Hopefully everyone else knows a bit more lol

[Guest harvester52]

Sit with your knees apart, or if you cross your legs, put your left ankle on your right knee, or vice-versa. Arms... guys usually rest their arms on the armrests of their chairs, or loosely at their sides with their hands on their thighs. If you're a heftier guy, you can get away with resting your arms over your belly (how I typically tend to sit). Ankle-crossing is also alright... but definitely avoid crossing your legs at the knee.

Also, men take up space. Sit loosely, keep your feet out in front of you when you sit, walk loosely, etc.

[Guest Daru]

Maybe some first hand experience? Maybe I'll take some pictures @@

So a School desk...

to act guyish, you could lay back a little, with your butt on the front end of the chair and a lot of weight on your shoulders. keep your knees at least shoulder width apart, or wider and feet flat on the floor with your legs about vertical. If you feel you want to cross your legs, cross your ankles and leave the knees far apart, that will be entirely normal. (almost like sitting cross legged on the ground just stretched out)

You could also sit up, put your elbows on the desk and rest your head on your fists, leaning forward Have bad posture!

If you're laying back in a lazy boy recliner, instead of curling up or something like I do , relax and lay back, use the arm rests, rest your hands on your belly. let your feet hang lose, off to the side or straight out or whatever's natural for you

Body language... have little to none. Shoulder shrugs work, subtle nods, just hook your thumbs in your pants pockets and keep them there unless there's something that needs super emphasis with hands. If you're more of a dynamic person, you can go crazy with hand gestures, though, that wouldn't give you away if your personality matched

Seriously! Sitting like a girl is HARD! I just don't have the muscles to keep my knees together for extended periods of time, lol!

[Guest Jackson]

Thankfully I have a lot of masculine traits/body movements/etc. already, but this is how I did it.

Observation.

That's it. Watch how all the other guys do things. I picked up everything I know from being a Civil War reenactor and portraying a male soldier. A few of the guys in my unit gave me tips on a few things. But mostly I learned by watching other men. There is so much to how men act, think, speak, move, clothing, and body language that a book could be written about it. I've had other people stand right next to me and not even know my gender while I've been in uniform. Face to face speaking with them even. And this was years ago before I even thought of transitioning.

Sorry I couldn't have been more helpful.

Jackson

[Guest raydub]

soem good tips here.. but you have to remember to relax at the same time.

its always harder to pass when thats all your thinking about and concentrating on.

when youve gotten a few of the gestures down.. try them out with confidence.

guys walk with confidence. not with their head down watching how far apart their feet are.

look people in their eyes when they talk to you.

just know you are a guy and express that in what you do and how you act.

even if you slip and cross your legs a few times.. doesnt make you less of a man.

Ray