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By MAN8791 · Posted
Change. I am so -censored- tired of change, and what I've just started in the last month with identifying and working through all of my . . . stuff . . . around gender dysphoria represents a level of change I dread and am terrified of. 2005 to 2019 feel like a pretty stable time period for me. Not a whole lot of change happened within me. I met someone, got married, had three kids with them. Struggled like hell with anxiety and depression but it was . . . ok. And then my spouse died (unexpectedly, brief bout with flu and then gone) and the five years since have been an unrelenting stream of change. I cannot think of a single way in which I, the person writing this from a library table in 2024, am in any way the same person who sat in an ICU room with my dying spouse 5 years ago. I move different, speak different, dress different, think different, have different goals, joys, and ambitions. And they are all **good.** but I am tired of the relentless pace of change and as much as I want and need to figure out my dysphoria and what will relieve the symptoms (am I "just" gender fluid, am I trans masc? no -censored- clue at the moment) I dread it at the same time. I just want to take a five year nap and be done with it. -
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By AmandaJoy · Posted
I'm Amanda, and after 57 years of pretending to be a male crossdresser, I've recently admitted to myself that I'm a woman. It's pretty wild. I don't think that I've ever had a thought that was as clearly true and right, as when I first allowed myself to wonder, "wait, am I actually trans?" The hilarious part is that I owe that insight to my urologist, and a minor problem with a pesky body part that genetic women don't come equipped with (no, not that one). I'll spare you the details, but the end result was him talking about a potential medication that has some side effects, notably a 1% chance of causing men to grow breasts. The first thought that bubbled up from the recesses of my mind was, "wow, that would be awesome!" <<blink>><<blink>> Sorry, what was that again? That led down a rabbit hole, and a long, honest conversation with myself, followed by a long, honest conversation with my wife. We both needed a couple of weeks, and a bit of crying and yelling, to settle in to this new reality. Her biggest issue? Several years ago, she asked me if I was trans, and I said, "no". That was a lie. And honestly, looking back over my life, a pretty stupid one. I'm really early in the transition process - I have my first consultation with my doctor next week - but I'm already out to friends and family. I'm struggling with the "do everything now, now now!" demon, because I know that this is not a thing that just happens. It will be happening from now on, and trying to rush won't accomplish anything useful. Still, the struggle is real . I'm being happy with minor victories - my Alexa devices now say, "Good morning, Amanda", and I smile each and every time. My family and friends are being very supportive, after the initial shock wore off. I'm going to need a lot of help though, which is another new thing for me. Being able to ask for help, that is. I'm looking forward to chatting with some of you who have been at this longer, and also those of you who are as new at this as I am. It's wild, and intoxicating, and terrifying... and I'm looking forward to every second of it. Amanda Joy -
By RaineOnYourParade · Posted
Yep, that's the one :P Smoothies are criminally underrated imo -
By Ivy · Posted
Rain here. I went to Asheville yesterday, and stayed later to visit some before going down the mountain. Down here there were a lot of trees down in the northern part of the county. The power had gone off at the house, but was back by the time I got home (21:00). There was a thunderstorm during the night. -
By Birdie · Posted
I used to get ma'am'ed during my 45 years of boy-mode and it drove me nuts. Now that I have accepted girl-mode I find it quite pleasant. Either way, being miss gendered is quite disturbing. I upon a rare occasion might get sir'ed by strangers and it's quite annoying. -
By Mmindy · Posted
Good morning Ash, Welcome to TransPulseForums, I have a young neighbor who plays several brass instruments who lives behind my house. He is always practicing and I could listen to them for hours, well I guess I have listened to them for hours, and my favorite is when they play the low tones on the French Horn. Best wishes, Mindy🌈🐛🏳️⚧️🦋 -
By Mmindy · Posted
Good morning everyone, I had my first cup of coffee this morning with my wife, my second was a 20oz travel mug on the way to the airport. Once clearing TSA, I bought another 20oz to pass the time at the boarding gate. I’m flying Indy to Baltimore, then driving to Wilmington, DE for my last teaching engagement at the DE State Fire School. Hugs, Mindy🌈🐛🏳️⚧️🦋 -
By Vidanjali · Posted
In my opinion, the gender neutral version of sir or ma'am is the omission of such honorifics. "Excuse me, sir" becomes simply, "Excuse me", or better yet, "Excuse me, please." "Yes, ma'am" becomes "Yes", or depending on the context, "Yes, it would be my pleasure" or "Yes, that is correct." Else, to replace it with a commonly known neutral term such as friend, or credentialed or action-role-oriented term depending on the situation such as teacher, doctor, driver, or server. And learn names when you can. It's a little known fact that MOST people are bad with names. So if you've ever told someone, "I'm bad with names", you're simply affirming you're typical in that way. A name, just like any other factoid, requires effort to commit to memory. And there are strategies which help. -
By Mmindy · Posted
@KymmieL it’s as if our spouses are two sides of the same coin. We never know which side will land up. Loving or Disliking. Hugs, Mindy🌈🐛🏳️⚧️🦋 -
By KymmieL · Posted
almost 45 min later. Still in self pity mode. I cannot figure out my wife. I shared a loving post on Facebook to my wife. Today she posts, you are my prayer. Yet, last week she puts up a post diragitory towards trans people. Does she not relate to me being trans? ??? -
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By Cynthia Slowan · Posted
Hi Vivelacors!! Like everyone else said, it is never too late to be you. It does feel too late at times but we can still enjoy our femininity every day, moment by moment!! 💗 Cynthia -
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