What is my sexuality?

[Guest thomasina uk]

For the most, I am sexually attracted to women. However during my dysphoria episodes I lust over male sexual attention while in female clothing. Its unfair to say that I'm a bisexual man; i cant be because i have no inclination towards men for men's sake. Simply, my desire is to fulfill the stereotypes of both genders.

Is this what you refer to as 'pansexual'? Someone please help me out...

T

[Guest musicalice]

Perhaps something you could look into is androgyny, bigender or "two-spirit" - have a look around on google and think about what you find.

As far as I understand pansexual, it means either that you are attracted to all people with whatever gender or equipment they happen to have, or some seem to use it as being attracted to "people, not parts" (though I think that's a slightly different thing - you can be attracted to "female-spirited" people regardless of what they have).

I don't know what else to say other than don't worry about it too much. Enjoy what nice feelings you have and let them be . And it's much harder to attach labels to sexuality when you're some flavour of trans*, because they're all defined in the binary

And personally... I think I'm more attracted to female-spirited people (not sure about equipment so much as I've never been in that situation), but I'm not going to worry about it or self-define until I've got myself sorted out. Right now any sort of attraction as a male makes me want to be sick, or at the very least suppress it as best I can.

Sorry, I'm not so bubblesome moodwise right now

[Guest deglerious]

Thomasina,

I think that I'm very close to what you are, as I like females (rubinesque preferably) but enjoy cross-dressing and being female at times. I also have a desire for the male organ while being a woman, but would be very afraid to have intercourse with an actual man, even though my first 'experience' was with a male friend, with whom we both experimented with cross-dressing and then went 'all the way' on a third attempt when we were teens, but I felt so guilty and confused afterwards that it never ever worked out again, even though there were times when I believe one or the other of us wanted to do more. I've always been tempted to contact him again, as we were kindred spirits sexually but am afraid, embarrassed and would feel guilty about doing so.

But after that brief experience I finally overcame my shyness (somewhat) and started dating girls. I suppose that this is why I don't cheat on my SO with other women either, as I would feel very guilty and hypocritical. I do feel guilty about my sneaking off to 'play', but rationalize it as being a separate event in my life, and keep it very secret and private by going camping out in the environs. I'd also be afraid to go out in public through sheer embarrassment, and when I'm in the wild, I'm always a bit paranoid about getting caught, even though I've always wanted to walk about a couple of leagues or even try to drive while done up. The problem is that sometimes I have nightmares of getting caught, and this keeps me a bit paranoid. This is actually the first time I've ever 'come out' so to speak, and this is also my first post here (or anywhere for that matter) so I'm a bit nervous. I actually found this site researching false breast enhancements (expensive for the size I want). So I guess I'm a bit befuddled about my orientation too. But I've been having this desire to be female come over me occasionally since I was pre-teen, although it comes and goes, and often I don't think of it at all, but then the craving hits and I'm out trying to save up to buy more 'props'.

Please let me know if we have a classification more definite than "cross-dresser".

[Guest KayJo]

Hi all, this is really interesting.

Of course gender identity (which would include being a CD etc) and sexuality (who we find ourselves sexually attracted to) are separate and distinct things.

But anyway, Thomasina, I wouldn't worry about the tags. Just be who you are. If you are primarily attracted to women, yet have a fantasy (if that's the right way to describe it) of being with a man when you are en-femme, then maybe you are just hetero. Sometimes fantasies are just that and we feel ok to let them remain fantasies. If its a stronger feeling, and something you think you have a need to actually experience in real life one day, then maybe one of the other descriptions fits. Either way, its ok.

I don't necessarily feel sexually aroused all the time I'm dressed en-femme. Its a different kind of exhilaration. And I love women, sexually and in every other way. I could not be with a man sexually. But, I do have my own fantasy of being cross-dressed, en-femme and being with a woman who is cross-dressed as a man and switching roles in that way. You can fill in the blanks or use your imagination there....That may sound really "contrary", but that's the way I feel. For me it would be a way of experiencing in what its like to be a woman sexually (sort of like Thomasina said about fulfilling the stereotypes of both genders). So, I can definitely relate to what you both have said here. I'm not sure I'll ever have the chance for that to be more than a fantasy though. I'm married and I am completely in the closet as far as she is concerned, so none of that is ever likely to happen.

Oh - and welcome to Laura's Deglerious, whiy not post a hello in the "welcomes" forum too.

Hugs,

Kay

xx

[Guest kimberly c]

Hi, I have been maried for many years and have been a crossdresser since I can remember. I am hetrosexual and love

everything about women. In male mode I feel no sexual attraction to men. Dressed as a female everything is turned

upside down, being a woman I want to experience sex from the female perspective.My wife completes my desires

by allowing me to dress in lingerie then making love to me with a strap-on.That may be as close as I get to a real

man.

Love Kim

[Guest thomasina uk]

Hi, I have been maried for many years and have been a crossdresser since I can remember. I am hetrosexual and love

everything about women. In male mode I feel no sexual attraction to men. Dressed as a female everything is turned

upside down, being a woman I want to experience sex from the female perspective.My wife completes my desires

by allowing me to dress in lingerie then making love to me with a strap-on.That may be as close as I get to a real

man.

Love Kim

You are very lucky, i doubt my wife will ever be so adventourous.

T