Very Confused

[Guest DeeAnn]

First let me say that I have felt the transition urge since I can't remember but I have not allowed myself to deal with it (all the way) till now. Here's my question, when I was 28 (40 now) I became very depressed, I did the typical meds with limited correction. I then saw a info drug commercial about men with low Tesosterone I had this checked and low and behold my leval was "the level of a 75 yr old" I went on to Tesosterone and have been on and off it since. When on it I tend to be happy for the most part but I yearn to transition in the worst of ways, when off I still want to transition but no as much. Is this normal? When I have been on HRT I feel good, low depression but I get very placent and I guess I don't care which sex I am. Should I stay with the HRT, I want it, but will I become more driven to become female after time? Can anyone shine a light on this??

Love Ya

Deeann

[Guest raydub]

Hi Deeann.

I am no professional, but it kinda makes sense that you would yearn to transition more while on hrt since your hrt is going in the "wrong" direction. The more male the hormones make you feel the farther away from the real you, you feel..does that make sense? From everything Ive read and all the people Ive talked (typed) to.. the general consensus is that transsexual feelings dont go away..and if they do, they generally resurface later. I think discussing this matter with your general practitioner as well as with your therapist will be invaluable. It may help as well to see a therapist that specializes in gender concerns to help you figure all that out. I wish you the best of luck figuring all of this out.

Welcome to the playground by the way. There are many many people here, some of which Im sure have been in a similar (if not same) situation as yourself. Keep sharing and keep reading.

Raymond

[Guest DeeAnn]

First let me say that I have felt the transition urge since I can't remember but I have not allowed myself to deal with it (all the way) till now. Here's my question, when I was 28 (40 now) I became very depressed, I did the typical meds with limited correction. I then saw a info drug commercial about men with low Tesosterone I had this checked and low and behold my leval was "the level of a 75 yr old" I went on to Tesosterone and have been on and off it since. When on it I tend to be happy for the most part but I yearn to transition in the worst of ways, when off I still want to transition but no as much. Is this normal? When I have been on HRT I feel good, low depression but I get very placent and I guess I don't care which sex I am. Should I stay with the HRT, I want it, but will I become more driven to become female after time? Can anyone shine a light on this??

Love Ya

Deeann

[Guest DeeAnn]

Hi Deeann.

I am no professional, but it kinda makes sense that you would yearn to transition more while on hrt since your hrt is going in the "wrong" direction. The more male the hormones make you feel the farther away from the real you, you feel..does that make sense? From everything Ive read and all the people Ive talked (typed) to.. the general consensus is that transsexual feelings dont go away..and if they do, they generally resurface later. I think discussing this matter with your general practitioner as well as with your therapist will be invaluable. It may help as well to see a therapist that specializes in gender concerns to help you figure all that out. I wish you the best of luck figuring all of this out.

Welcome to the playground by the way. There are many many people here, some of which Im sure have been in a similar (if not same) situation as yourself. Keep sharing and keep reading.

Raymond

Thanks Raymond

I have talked with my therapist but she doesn't specialize in gender issues, I guess I should look for someone that does and has a better understanding of it all. Thanks for the reply, its good to get input. Loveya,,,, Dee

[Guest raydub]

Hey Dee!

Glad you talked about it - albeit with the therapist that has no experience...maybe your therapist can refer you to someone who does. There is also a page here with information on therapists that specialize in gender therapy - maybe you can find someone on there...?

Good luck.

Keep sharing with others and looking within. Youll find the answers eventually...and at the right time.

love,

Raymond

[Guest Dutchie]

Hi DeeAnn,

Maybe a bit late, but nevertheless it might help. I'm around your age, and for me the choice was not that hard, I gave in to the "urge".

When I wanted to start HRT and got my pre-start blood sample done, I was happy to find that my testosterone levels were way too low for a male my age. The good thing is that it requires less blockers, which in turn means less side effects or less harmful options. In my case I was advised not to take Spiro, but just stick with progesterone and estradiol.

How did it go? Did you find a good doctor?

Dutchie

[Guest silverpetals]

there have been some pretty convincing links found between a deficiency in sex hormones and a lowering in mood, rise in anxiety, symptoms of depression - it's one likely reason why women in their menopause and men undergoing treatment for androgen-sensitive cancers often feel depressed.

this is one study; it isn't entirely appropriate to the situation, but its findings do suggest something to that effect.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1759292...pt=AbstractPlus

although i can't speak with any real knowledge on the subject, i would suspect that this may be a contributing factor to your depression, as the two seem to be quite closely tied from your account. perhaps you feel content as you presently are, perhaps you would feel happier transitioning; i usually try not to comment on whether it would be better for people to transition, because that should be a choice made only by the one transitioning, imho. but either way, take care.