Going on the Road as me. Yikes!

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

Later this week I will be hitting the road to Albuquerque New Mexico for Christmas vacation to visits the in laws and I am SO excited. It’s especially exciting since my in laws totally accept me, unlike my birth family. I am planning on starting RLE experience in February if all goes well and I am using this trip as a crash course in preparation for it which has me very nervous. I have ventured beyond my front door but never around town, this place is to small and I a bound to run into someone. So I have spent a little time out and about as me while out of town and that has been fun. But that has generally been safe or at least something I could control because I was already there and knew the place. But this will be different because I will not be waiting to arrive in Albuquerque before presenting as me but will do it from the time we leave the house and through Alabama, Tennessee, Arkansas, a nights stay in Oklahoma, and finally through Texas. The thing is these states are not really all that Transfriendly and I am not really all that familiar with them. New Mexico on the other hand I know pretty well and feel pretty safe in. So when it comes to the traveling portion of the trip I am very uncomfortable especially when I think that being in the middle of nowhere is probably not the best time to use the ladies room for the first time. But I have discussed this with my wife and she says who cares. Yes she really is that tough and fearless. And I have also discussed it with my therapist and she totally supports this though I wish I would have remembered to ask her for a letter that I have heard others get from their therapist. All I can say is that I am not backing down and know that just like every other scary event over that last year it will turn out to be a non event and I will look back and wonder why I worry so much. But since it is my nature to worry I will do just that. But come this Thursday I will head out with all my worries onto that scary highway and through those scary towns with the simple and clear resolve to be me.

Of course any advice or experience would be totally appreciated, and if you happen to live in the above mentioned states maybe you can recommend some safe stops along I-40.

Wish me luck!!!

Audrey

[Guest Elizabeth K]

You wife is right, trust me on that. Be confident, be assertive and be happy. Don't be flamboyant, yet don't be a shrinking violet. In other words, be your true self. You are you - nobody really sees you - travel well.

Lizzie

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

I know she is right and I hope you are right about nobody really seeing me. HAHA

Confidence and assertiveness is definitely what I need to pull out of myself for this trip.

Thanks Lizzy!!!

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

Oh Megan you make me smile. I would love it if this week long RLE turned into the rest of my life.

OMG, Starbucks is a fantastic idea! They are pretty progressive so I should be safe to use the ladies room there. One place I am a little nervous to stop at is McDonalds but I think it is just because I let the images of what happened to that one girl in Maryland get to me. Of course I have to go or suffer the wrath of my children. HAHA

[Paula ult]

More than likely nobody will notice as long as you blend in with everyone else and just be yourself, as far as rest rooms go, maybe have your wife go with you, one tip i learned, check to make sure there is tp in the stall, especially in interstate rest rooms, found out the hard way one time.

Wishing you a safe trip and happy holidays.

Paula

[VickySGV]

Note on HIghway rest stops, Federal Highway Safety Act makes it mandatory for rest stops on interstate highways to have "assisted use rest rooms" at all of these sites, translated, handicapped RR's. Do keep your eyes open, and yes, the buddy system since your spouse will be with you. You will do fine. This time of year with everyone bundled up, who can tell anyway!!! Megan is right on the TP issue, so go to a sporting goods store before you leave, and get some backpacking toilet paper, which is in short small rolls, or just get a bottle of baby wipes or moistened cosmetic wipes for your purse. They can save some bad itching from saddle sores as I call it.

On the highways, they are more "enlightened" as to WEIRD people than they are half a mile away from it. You don't open a store on a Federal Highway to attract Joe and Emiline Redneck with prices that are a third higher than in the local stores, and other travelers of the blacktop are in too much of a hurry to even see you. Your concept of "normal" will change quickly and you will enjoy it. "Why did I wait so long" will set in.

[Guest Mia J]

The dreaded public restroom journey.

Probably on of the scariest things we do when we are starting. You have got a lot of great advice. Just go in blend in and don't act nervous. I have yet to have any issues. Places like Starbucks where they only have a single stall are good because they only hold one person at a time. Having you wife with you is also a good idea as people will pay even less attention to you.

Best of luck and have great holiday.

Mia

[JJ]

In case of desperation all Wal-Marts have a family use restroom at the back of the store. Till I finally took the plunge-I swear there was no pun intended there but it feels like there is one lurking somewhere-I made use of those family restrooms a lot.

Sorry I'm not familiar with I-40 here but do know that around here I can sometimes not tell gender till someone speaks so you are unlikely to be challenged if I-40 is like where I live.

Hope your trip is fantastic Happy Holidays

Johnny

[Guest Karen K]

Audrey,

How I envy you this trip. You will do fine, trust me. I have been there and I'm still there, but every outing is a non event, even in a pulbic ladies room! I stood in line at a college football game and never had a second questioning glance from the many ladies standing in line with me. And like Paula said, alway check for TP before sitting. At a Super HEB, I had to go, in I went with three other ladies. I had just sat down, when from the stall next door came a plea for help. I stripped off a rather long trail of the paper and passed it under the stall wall, much relief came from the embarrased woman.

Enjoy your journey.

Laura Jane

[Guest Robin Winter]

Audrey,

How I envy you this trip. You will do fine, trust me. I have been there and I'm still there, but every outing is a non event, even in a pulbic ladies room! I stood in line at a college football game and never had a second questioning glance from the many ladies standing in line with me. And like Paula said, alway check for TP before sitting. At a Super HEB, I had to go, in I went with three other ladies. I had just sat down, when from the stall next door came a plea for help. I stripped off a rather long trail of the paper and passed it under the stall wall, much relief came from the embarrased woman.

Enjoy your journey.

Laura Jane

LOL, I can't help but check for paper, since I won't sit on a public toilet without laying it all over the seat first

[Guest John Chiv]

Audrey,

Everyone has given you such excellent advice. To keep the kids happy, drive thru McDonalds and plan a restroom break where options are safer. Maybe once you see that it is no big deal or how comfortable you are, next break could be food and a restroom stop.

John

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Audrey,

It's only Monday evening and you are going Thursday......

You have time to call your therapist and ask them to e-mail you a "Carry Letter" that you can print out.....

It's the smart thing to do and it gives you confidence.......

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Guest BeckyTG]

On my first road trip, I used Subway as my restrooms of choice. Each Subway is small and the restrooms only hold one at a time. No one will bat an eye if they're not in there with you. I always buy something at each place where I use the restroom. Subway has great cookies and they even sell apple slices if you're on a diet.

Enjoy your trip!

This gave me confidence over time, to use larger and larger restrooms.

But that's another story....

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

More than likely nobody will notice as long as you blend in with everyone else and just be yourself, as far as rest rooms go, maybe have your wife go with you

Paula…Cannot go with my wife because one of us needs to stay with our son. My daughter will end needing to go so I will probably take her but I am not sure if that makes it easier or harder. She is a lot to handle. HAHA

On the highways, they are more "enlightened" as to WEIRD people than they are half a mile away from it. You don't open a store on a Federal Highway to attract Joe and Emiline Redneck with prices that are a third higher than in the local stores, and other travelers of the blacktop are in too much of a hurry to even see you. Your concept of "normal" will change quickly and you will enjoy it. "Why did I wait so long" will set in.

Vicky…I hope you are right. But I am not sure I want to be around people who are weirder than me. LOL

The dreaded public restroom journey.

Probably on of the scariest things we do when we are starting. You have got a lot of great advice. Just go in blend in and don't act nervous. I have yet to have any issues.

Mia…You know I think that may be more of my fear than really any intolerant people. Can I blend in and keep my cool? I think that really is the biggest test here.

In case of desperation all Wal-Marts have a family use restroom at the back of the store.

Sorry I'm not familiar with I-40 here but do know that around here I can sometimes not tell gender till someone speaks so you are unlikely to be challenged if I-40 is like where I live.

Johnny… you are hilarious. And Wal-Mart is a great idea. I can use the family restroom, eat and in some locations even get gas.

How I envy you this trip. You will do fine, trust me. I have been there and I'm still there, but every outing is a non event, even in a pulbic ladies room! I stood in line at a college football game and never had a second questioning glance from the many ladies standing in line with me.

Laura Jane….I envy you. Going to a game and just blending in. I cannot wait till I am there doing the same.

LOL, I can't help but check for paper, since I won't sit on a public toilet without laying it all over the seat first

Shilo…I am totally with you on that one. Toilet seats equals disgusting!!!

To keep the kids happy, drive thru McDonalds and plan a restroom break where options are safer. Maybe once you see that it is no big deal or how comfortable you are, next break could be food and a restroom stop.

John…Yes. Exactly! I think it really does have to do with comfort. So I just need the experience so that I can calm down and settle in. If there was only away to get rid of the anticipation.

It's only Monday evening and you are going Thursday......

You have time to call your therapist and ask them to e-mail you a "Carry Letter" that you can print out.....

It's the smart thing to do and it gives you confidence.......

Dee Jay…as soon as I read your post I sent my therapist an email asking her if she would not mind writing one up. She said she would. Yea!!!

On my first road trip, I used Subway as my restrooms of choice. Each Subway is small and the restrooms only hold one at a time. No one will bat an eye if they're not in there with you. I always buy something at each place where I use the restroom. Subway has great cookies and they even sell apple slices if you're on a diet.

Becky…Subway, another great option. Normally I might go with the apple slices but I am thinking maybe a cookie would not hurt, right? HEHE