Wearing a Wig Everyday

[Guest NatashaJade]

Okay, ladies. If you, like me, were not blessed with a full head of hair at the time of transition, you may be thinking about what kind of solutions are available. There are transplants, which can look lovely, but cost a whole lot of money that, if you are in short supply and would rather save for more important sugeries, you just don't have on hand at the time you want to start making a go of life as you should live it. There are other surgical rememdies such as brow lifts, etc. But they are all still pricey in comparison to a good quality wig.

And let me be clear on this. One needs must have a good quality wig. If you didn't spend at least a couple of hundred dollars on it, it's not going to fool anyone. My grandmother wore a wig just about every day for at least 30 years (as long as I knew her) and probably longer than that. She had a ton of them and they were all beautiful and expensive and if you didn't know her, you woulnd't know. And that's the point. You want even those people who know to forget you are even wearing it.

You want to forget you're wearing it during the day.

This means going to a wig shop and speaking with the stylist there about your needs (remember: you have money. They want your money. They don't care that you're trans.). Try on a bunch of them until you get one that fits you in a way that makes you happy because this is going to be your hair for a good long while. Make sure it fits comfortably and then have them show you the best ways to secure it.

If, like me, you have a lot of hair of your own, find a wig that blends in with what you've got. The fact that half of what people see is mine tricks them into thinking it's all mine. Good. When I go to the hair stylist, she styles my hair both with the wig and without it to make sure I can wear a head band if it's a hot day and I'm going to be out. But the fact is, make the best of what is naturally yours if you can. And the fact is, it takes three bobby pins to put it in place and keep it there. It takes less than three minutes to do my hair in the morning.

As for those who are not employing hair of their own, perhaps another member can chime in on how that works.

Finally, take care of it! It's an investment in how you present to the world and how you feel about yourself. Use the proper products. Wash it properly. Brush it out daily. The better you take care of it, the longer it will last and the better it will continue to look and the better you will continue to look.

Hair is one of the most important things people look at in determining gender. Make sure yours is the best it can be

xoxo

Tasha

[Carolyn Marie]

Tasha, I agree with everything you said, with one exception. I don't think it has to be expensive.

The most expensive wigs are natural hair, and while they have many advantages, they also have drawbacks. Those include the fact that they don't last as long as synthetic, and require more care. But they do tend to look more natural, and of course have a natural feel to them.

In my case, I have a mono-filament wig of good quality. It looks and feels real, has fooled many people, including my doctor, and even has strands of different shades to mimic natural hair. It takes five minutes to wash, 24 hours or less to dry, and requires little brushing. Best of all, it cost only $120. I have two, for when one gets dirty or sweaty.

It comes down to personal preference, and I totally agree that the best way to shop is to try on many styles and colors at a shop and get professional advice. I could not have done as well without the help of my wig saleswoman.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest NatashaJade]

I have a synthetic wig as well. There are many good quality synthetics and Carolyn is correct in that the maintenance is much easier and they will last longer. The drawback is that you cannot style them or color them.

xoxo

[Guest Krisina]

It can be said that even if you pay a ton of money for a wig it doesn't always mean you will get a better wig. But in many cases you do. The more expensive human hair wigs will not last longer and could actually be more high maintenance. A good mono-filament wig will allow you to change the part much like in natural hair. I had an aunt who wore a wig when I was younger. I didn't know until she took it off, it wasn't something I thought about. I have a synthetic monofilement wig and after spending a long time talking to the lady with alapecia selling it to me I am convinced for me a human hair wig isn't the way to go with other wigs. Her synthetic wig she wore looked great. She has alapecia.

Tasha and Carolyn have given good supportive ideas.

Going into a wig shop, your money is as good as anyone else. You are a paying customer.

Try on several wigs to see what suits your facial shape. I tried on 12 to 15 over an hour hour and a half.

Maintain the wig and it will last longer, have an extra one and when washing expect 24 hours for it to dry.

A good wig will look like real hair and those that know you have a wig will after a while forget about it when socializing with you that it is their, it is just part of you.

Cisgendered women wear wigs too, for something different, after cancer treatment, alopecia etc.

It was nice to see your topic Tasha. It is a subject that older tg women our age have to deal with. Just a part of life.

Krisina

[Guest ricka]

Great Topic, girls! I love my wigs and it feels more natural wearing one than not. I would add a few thoughts. It is usually best to match the shade of your wig to your natural hair. A little wave or curls framing your face tend to feminize your features and for us golden girls shorter hair tends to be more flattering than long hair.

Miss Ricka

[VickySGV]

I came to the realization that I was transsexual after many years (10+) of claiming only to be CD. I have got about 12 wigs that are now in my usual wear inventory. Some are duplicates since I like them that well. You can see my own hair and recent acquisitions of partial hairpieces in my gallery here, but the wig you see in my avatar is my favorite. Its more fun now to have the wigs that I can wear my own hair in public, since it IS a GIRL thing and not a hopeless man-in-a-dress thing anymore. My own hair is now Estrogen fed exclusively since I am at 2.5 years on E just now, but the hair is so darn baby fine, that if I shuffle on a carpet when the air is dry here (too often), it either hugs my neck or is flying in all different directions even with industrial strength hairspray soaking it!!

Go ahead and get a couple of "dream" hair do's if your wallet can take it. Shop for them and let yourself be pampered. I have several very light blonde's that are so fun to wear. As I said above, my favorite is an auburn with gold red highlights, and I am going to have my own hair colored to match it in about a year. Mine are all synthetic but even a couple of them have been slightly restyled by professional wig stylists who have taught me some care stuff that can be a bit risky, but they were good teachers and my wigs look great still. There are some synthetic wig fibers today that can be refreshed with the velvet covered hot rollers, but be sure your wig sales person/stylist has checked to see that what they sold you can do it. Those wigs are going to be over $300US, but worth it. Have the wig stylist trim the wig to your head and face. Some styles need a little bit of adjustment if your head bumps in the wrong direction.

Lace front wigs will look the most natural as far as a hair line/scalp line look, but they are hotter to use than other kinds. Hand tied and blended human hair/synthetics are also expensive, but you deserve it.

Remember, if a guy wears a womans wig, its disgusting!!! If a woman wears a woman's wig she is stylish!! You are not disgusting, so you are a woman wearing a woman's wig!! (Do not analyze that statement using formal Greek logic!!)

[Carolyn Marie]

Its more fun now to have the wigs that I can wear my own hair in public, since it IS a GIRL thing and not a hopeless man-in-a-dress thing anymore.

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

Sorry Carolyn-- I forgot your post!! oops!!!

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Well, unfortunately, like those of you on this thread, I, too, need a wig when I'm out publicly.

Actually, I have two wigs. The one you see in my avatar photo is from SuddenlyFem, is synthetic and inexpensive. Of course, the discerning eye CAN "clock my wig" in an instant. Because of that, I rarely wear it; however, some people tell me they really like it on me. I do not.

When I made a try at going fulltime, I went to a wig shop, was treated wonderfully well (pampered even inasmuch as this place has many transclients, and the owner is a 60-ish GG who has good common sense), and I bought a mono-filament Raquel Welch brand wig for $175. It wears well and looks better than the other one; however, none of you have even seen a photo of me in it, because I don't have any such photos. Many people tell me they really like it on me. I do not.

TO ME, WEARING A WIG IS A HUGE DRAG!!!

Having to wear the wig publicly and moral misgivings are "the one-two punch" preventing me from "going for it" internally and being truly and genuinely fulltime. Finally, though I really tried to be open-minded about liking and dating guys (and successfully dated a few recently), my orientation simply is not that way. Sorry, but women STILL are my preference. Go truly fulltime, and the many admiring looks (I'm NOT bragging; I'm simply saying!) from genetic women will evaporate in a flash ... never to return. The pool if lesbians is small, older lesbians smaller and lesbians who will accept a transwoman smallest.

"The Wig Issue" bothers me bigtime, first, because it genuinely IS bothersome to me, and, most importantly, I'll have to wear a wig FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE publicly. BUMMER. BUMMER. BUMMER.

What to do ... what to do? Darned if I know. Detransition, and I become Charles Manson. Go all the way, and I become the lost lesbian. Wigs? Morals? Loneliness? Catch 22 to the n-th power! Darned if I do. Darned if I don't. Finally, I NEVER once been called "Ma'am" even when fully en femme. Maybe it's just not meant to be for me ... sigh.

Anyway, back on topic:

As Tasha and the others say, a QUALITY wig (human-hair or mono-filament) from a wig shop IS the way to go for those of us who simply have to.

Great thread!

Peace Lacey

[Guest NatashaJade]

Lacey,

The bulk of the clientele at wig shops are women who suffer from everything from simple alopecia to breast cancer and need the wig to make them feel more feminine. My grandmother ruined her hair when she was young and, being the vain woman that she was, would not accept being unable to style her hair. So she wore a wig just about every day and always looked amazing.

It is a bummer having to wear a wig everyday. I agree. But it is a simple fact of my life as it is for a lot of other women. We make the best of it. I prefer the way I look with the wig on. Simple enough reason to wear it. It helps to make me feel better about the me I see in the mirror when I go out into the world.

Live your life for you first. Find your best possible happiness, whatever it may be.

xoxo

Tasha

[Carolyn Marie]

Lacey, I agree totally with Natasha. Sure, wearing a wig is an inconvenience, but it is also a necessity for the follically challenged like me. Unless I found $20,000 or more for hair transplants, it is the only solution. There are things that would be difficult now, like public swimming, wearing hats, or riding a bike. But those are trifles compared to not transitioning, or appearing in public as a balding woman.

You are the best judge of what is acceptable for you and what is not. But weighing an inconvenience against not being able to be your true self, it would seem the scales should tip towards the latter. I know that the wig issue isn't the only one you are considering. But I urge you not to judge success by a handful of hair.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Krisina]

ricka talks about matching the color of the wig to your real hair. I would agree or one shade off, not way off though.

Lacey says wearing a wig is a HUGE drag.

Carolyn talks about the price $20,000 for hair transplants.

Wigs wigs wigs. It is what is needed to pass properly if you have male pattern baldness.

20K for hair transplants? Can you imagine the number of wigs you could buy? 3 wigs a year at $200 a piece = $600 a year X 10 years = $6000.00

I am not made of money. I couldn't even afford $6000.00

This hair stuff is a bummer.

:( :( :( :( :( :(

Krisina

[VickySGV]

Krisina, there are partial wigs called Top Pieces or Falls that are cheaper than full wigs, lighter, cooler, and look very good. I have two friends (whose natural hair looks like the soup bowl tonsure of a religious monk) who use top pieces, and their hair looks super great . The kind I like are the ones where your pull some of your own hair through the hair piece wefting, and it helps hold it on and makes it look more natural. They can be purchased in synthetic or human hair. I have the synthetic kind which is actually just a shade or two lighter than my own hair, but thereby looks like a great special color job. I do have a picture of me wearing my top piece wiglet in my gallery.

The one I have ran $120.US. Revlon Wigs have a variety of them, and so do most other wig makers.

[Guest Ariel Patterson]

The wig I'm wearing is a synthetic wig an costs around $70. Its a very good quality and has held up for about a year now, though its falling on bad times since I've taken over care for it. I'm trying to take better care of it now though.

For those who don't find the idea of wearing a wig every day appealing, my mother wears one everyday. When I came out to her she admitted that she hasn't shown her actual hair to us in the past 10 or so years. She been wearing her current wig (to bed, in the shower, everwhere) for a few months I think she said. However, thats because my mother did not take care of her hair underneath the wig. And because she used glue it has messed up her hairline from wearing one too much. She has accepted that she will be wearing a wig for the rest of her life it seems. And I was dumb-struck to hear that she has been wearing wigs all this time! I didn't even believe her hair at the time.

I do not plan to wear a wig for the rest of my life though. I feel...fake. Like I'm hiding myself. I admit I love how I look in it. But when I'm out and about sometimes I just feel like I'm hiding behind it. For me, the wig is just temporary. Just until my own hair grows out long enough to style. Which will be very soon now.