Deposit Sent (scary)

[Guest NatashaJade]

So I put my deposit money in the mail to Montreal today (I wanted to make sure I could write it off of this year's taxes). And while I am super thrilled and excited about it, it think it's finally hitting home that I am actually doing this, actually going to have a major surgery to correct an issue that has long needed to be corrected. In just 150 days.

And I'm a little scared.

Not of possibly having any regrets. I am not frightened of that at all. I have not a single doubt that this is the right thing to do.

No, I'm just scared of having an operation, really. I've never been put under before and I think it's somewhat healthy to fear going under the knife. They say there are no minor surgeries and this one is definitely not minor. My problem is that my mind is constantly writing and rewriting my life to come and so, now that there is a certainty of this operation, my mind has gone into overdrive creating and recreating the events to come, sometimes to frightening outcomes.

But mostly, really, everything goes well. I'm not really all that worried. Just a little scared. Heck, I'm frightened to get on the plane to New Hampshire more than the surgery, and I've flown probably hundreds of thousands of miles in my lifetime.

But this is the unknown. I know it will all be okay, really. (and I will repeat that over and over until they put me under)

xoxo

[Guest Shari]

Tasha,

It will be okay. I can only imagine your feelings right now.

Hugs,

Shari

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

I am so enormously excited for you. That feeling you are experiencing seems entirely natural to me - I have experienced much smaller but still very intense versions of it many times in my transition, though I know that this really is so much bigger than that. All of those feelings have been followed by profound relief and gratitude for the changes that resulted, though, and I just know that this will be the same for you. Its scary, but its going to be AWESOME when its all done, and you are going to be just fine! Keep us updated, and we will keep you in our thoughts!

[Guest John Chiv]

Tasha,

I have also never had surgery and while my fear is not anywhere like it used to be, I do think about some concerns. Yet, I will do what I need when the time comes.

You seem to have talked yourself calmly through this and when the time is near, you will be in my prayers.

John

[Guest Kael147]

This is exciting and the healthy feelings seem perfectly normal and wonderful to me!

[Paula ult]

Congrats Natasha, it is normal to be scared, i know i was, after all this is major surgery, 4 - 5 hours worth, the best thing is they put you under one minute and seemingly the next you are waking up in recovery.

I felt the exact same way you are after i sent my deposit to Dr. Mcginn, and like you i had no doubt that this was the right thing for me, i was more worried if i would wake up after surgery, but knowing that i was in the best shape physically and that they would not operate if the blood work and tests indicated it would be too big of a risk put me at ease, everyone involved in your surgery are professionals and want a good outcome for you.

Paula

[Guest Leah1026]

So I put my deposit money in the mail to Montreal today (I wanted to make sure I could write it off of this year's taxes). And while I am super thrilled and excited about it, it think it's finally hitting home that I am actually doing this, actually going to have a major surgery to correct an issue that has long needed to be corrected. In just 150 days.

Congratulations!

Heck, I'm frightened to get on the plane to New Hampshire more than the surgery

Why aren't you flying into Montreal? Dr Brassard's office will send a car to pick you up at the airport. It's about a 4 hour drive to Montreal from southern New Hampshire.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Why aren't you flying into Montreal? Dr Brassard's office will send a car to pick you up at the airport. It's about a 4 hour drive to Montreal from southern New Hampshire.

Mainly because the flight into Montreal costs twice as much as the flight into Manchester. Plus one of my best friends in the world (who was my best man at my wedding) now lives in Manchester and is excited to drive me across Vermont, which is one of my favorite places in the world and the location of my novels (giving me the opportunity to take a few publicity shots of me on covered bridges). It will be a nice excuse to spend a few hours with a dear friend. While I do not relish the drive back, the savings for me and my spouse are considerable when we are pinching a lot of pennies to make this happen, especially given that she is coming with me.

xoxo

[JJ]

I've been under a few times and was always terrified -that old what if? I believe the last time -which was an emergency surgery-I was asking the Dr that question as I went out. It isn't bad-going under. At least to me.

And the rewards this time-Wow!

I'm happy and excited for you. I 'm pretty sure as a writer you'll keep writing those scenarios in your head, occupational hazard, along with the great blessing and joy of imagination. But I know it will be fine.

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

ENVIOUS!

Yeah, that's what I am!

Congratz, Girlfriend.......

I understand your concern about having surgery, but, that is how it's done....lol

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Guest Leah1026]

Why aren't you flying into Montreal? Dr Brassard's office will send a car to pick you up at the airport. It's about a 4 hour drive to Montreal from southern New Hampshire.

Mainly because the flight into Montreal costs twice as much as the flight into Manchester. Plus one of my best friends in the world (who was my best man at my wedding) now lives in Manchester and is excited to drive me across Vermont, which is one of my favorite places in the world and the location of my novels (giving me the opportunity to take a few publicity shots of me on covered bridges). It will be a nice excuse to spend a few hours with a dear friend.

LOL I live just a few miles south of Manchester.

If you looking for a convenient covered bridge to shoot, one of New Hampshire's prettiest (IMO) is just 2 miles off I-89's exit 9. If you're interested, go right at the bottom of the exit ramp (west on Rt 103). Not even 2 miles on the left there is a little sign telling you the Waterloo Bridge is down that little side road. Go down (literally) the road not half a mile (through one stop sign). You'll see the bridge straight ahead and you can park at a business on the left in the refurbished depot building.

http://g2.img-dpreview.com/383187673BD3452789B851A21B454C1C.jpg

It'll only take 15 minutes to get off and back on the highway… unless you linger for a while taking pics.

[Guest NatashaJade]

That is a beautiful bridge, Leah We may just have to go and take a look.

xoxo

[Guest Karen K]

Natasha,

Sweetheart, I am also envious of you. I will be thinking of and pray for you. I am sure everything will be fine. I have much to accomplish before I consider that surgery. What a wonderful way to begin the new year.

Laura Jane

[Guest Teagan]

You'll be fine, chica. You won't even be under general... Brassard's use of an epidural + heavy sedation is safer than general anesthesia, you'll be well taken care of, you have a brilliant surgeon, and you have friends who have been there both literally and figuratively who will support you, if from a distance.

It's all good. You'll do just fine.

[Guest NatashaJade]

You'll be fine, chica. You won't even be under general... Brassard's use of an epidural + heavy sedation is safer than general anesthesia, you'll be well taken care of, you have a brilliant surgeon, and you have friends who have been there both literally and figuratively who will support you, if from a distance.

It's all good. You'll do just fine.

Oh, I know, Teagan. But you know me. When given nothing much else to worry about, I'll find other things to worry about. The question I keep having for myself is what will I worry about after all this is done?

xoxo

[Guest Teagan]

You'll be fine, chica. You won't even be under general... Brassard's use of an epidural + heavy sedation is safer than general anesthesia, you'll be well taken care of, you have a brilliant surgeon, and you have friends who have been there both literally and figuratively who will support you, if from a distance.

It's all good. You'll do just fine.

Oh, I know, Teagan. But you know me. When given nothing much else to worry about, I'll find other things to worry about. The question I keep having for myself is what will I worry about after all this is done?

xoxo

Lessee... kids, books, cookies, students, to name a few.

[Guest NatashaJade]

But that's just life! I haven't worried about just life in a very long time...weird.

xoxo

[Guest Sarah Michelle]

You will do great Natasha. I am so happy that you are on your countdown now. Exciting times ahead for you girl.

I remember laying there in the waiting room and just thought that this is finally going to happen. I was not nervous at all just ready for it all to be over with.

You will love Montreal. Be sure to take a short walk over to the river as it is beautiful. Just don't over do it like I did and hurt too much the next day.

[Guest Robin Winter]

*Sigh* Do you know how jealous I am? I bet you do...

Best of luck when the time comes

[Guest NatashaJade]

You will do great Natasha. I am so happy that you are on your countdown now. Exciting times ahead for you girl.

I remember laying there in the waiting room and just thought that this is finally going to happen. I was not nervous at all just ready for it all to be over with.

You will love Montreal. Be sure to take a short walk over to the river as it is beautiful. Just don't over do it like I did and hurt too much the next day.

Thanks, Sarah. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm really looking forward to it. I remember seeing a picture of you by that river and made a point of remembering to visit there as well.

It's great to see you back here, btw

*Sigh* Do you know how jealous I am? I bet you do...

Best of luck when the time comes

I do only in that I have stood by as friends have moved on and I was both incredibly happy for them and just a bit jealous as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling that way.

xoxo

[Guest John Chiv]

Sarah, great to see you!

Tasha, my wish for you other than a healthy soeedy recovery is that you don't have anything to worry about and just are able to be the wife, mother, teacher, friend that you are and enjoy each day.

John

[Guest Stormrider2112]

So I put my deposit money in the mail to Montreal today (I wanted to make sure I could write it off of this year's taxes). And while I am super thrilled and excited about it, it think it's finally hitting home that I am actually doing this, actually going to have a major surgery to correct an issue that has long needed to be corrected. In just 150 days.

And I'm a little scared.

Not of possibly having any regrets. I am not frightened of that at all. I have not a single doubt that this is the right thing to do.

No, I'm just scared of having an operation, really. I've never been put under before and I think it's somewhat healthy to fear going under the knife. They say there are no minor surgeries and this one is definitely not minor. My problem is that my mind is constantly writing and rewriting my life to come and so, now that there is a certainty of this operation, my mind has gone into overdrive creating and recreating the events to come, sometimes to frightening outcomes.

But mostly, really, everything goes well. I'm not really all that worried. Just a little scared. Heck, I'm frightened to get on the plane to New Hampshire more than the surgery, and I've flown probably hundreds of thousands of miles in my lifetime.

But this is the unknown. I know it will all be okay, really. (and I will repeat that over and over until they put me under)

xoxo

Awesome! Also, if I may suggest, take an hour or so to stroll around Woodstock, VT before you head to Montreal (take Rte. 4 west off of I-89)...quite possibly the most beautiful village I've seen...outside my native Kennebunkport

And best of luck to you!

[Guest NatashaJade]

Awesome! Also, if I may suggest, take an hour or so to stroll around Woodstock, VT before you head to Montreal (take Rte. 4 west off of I-89)...quite possibly the most beautiful village I've seen...outside my native Kennebunkport

And best of luck to you!

Thank you, Stormrider Years and years ago when my spouse and I honeymooned in Vermont, we had lunch in Woodstock and I told her that it was either Woodstock or Middlebury (I want to be a professor at Middlebury College...one of my little dreams in life). But Woodstock is beautiful and is the model for the town in my novels.

We also drove up through Maine and had lunch in Kennebunk. They have this wonderfully kitchy lighthouse store up in the area that I bought some stuff at (I love lighthouses) and we stopped at all the lighthouses on the way back down the coast. I think it was the first time I ever saw sea foam.

xoxo

[~Nova~]

OK, I admit it, I hate these posts. I'm so happy for you and so jealous I could scream. You need a ticker in your signature

http://www.tickerfactory.com/ezticker/ticker_designer.php?type=4

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Between now and then you should check to see if your doctor offers a groupon for SRS.

..maybe a coupon? Buy one get one free? Buy one gender reassignment get a free labiaplasty with purchase?

Free limited edition red and white glittery "Canada, eh?" dilator?

Never hurts to look.