......On Being A Moderater Here.......

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

When I was picked to be a moderator in 2008, I was feeling overjoyed and privileged...

That is how it works here....you don't volunteer to be a mod, you're chosen...

And basically we're members first ...like everyone else....we have no special powers like the X-men...

But, the admins thought that they saw something in us that would make good mod material...

And not everyone of us is a good choice...sometimes things show up in a mod that wasn't apparent before...

But, that rarely happens....

But, like everyone we have different lives and backgrounds and different opinions on things...

The job has helped most of us transition and everyone can learn by us doing...the good, the bad and the ugly...

Most of us were a mess when we first came here like everyone else....Some like me, have transitioned and live full time over the last 3 years....others are just starting or are in mid-transition..

So, we have a fairly good representation here....

The job? Well, there is a lot more than most people know about or imagine.....

Firstly, Lauras is open and on line 24/7-365....And there needs to be mods here all of the time because we're international and as you know, we read EVERY post before we ok it and make it available to be read....

We are volunteers and do this on our own time.... there is no money, freebies, food or game tickets, just virtual cookies and coco.......Many of us talk to people in private messages to try to get someone over a rough spot or help talk someone out of a suicidal situation.....it can be scary for us at times...But, it's always rewarding and fulfilling...

Now....by the very nature of reading hundreds of thousands of posts and actually answering thousands, we do have some insight into all of this...

Are we always right? Heck no! We answer things incorrectly or in an opinionated ways or just dead wrong.....

But we try..... and we give...... and we love...... and most importantly.......we care!

(I'd like other mods to add to this if you will.....)

Donna Jean

[Guest ChloëC]

As a mod, what I really enjoy in reading a new post waiting for approval, is to see that it is opening a new thought that deserves discussion or is adding to a discussion that is already open. We as mods follow the 'Terms and Conditions' and really try to understand them and apply them fairly and equally. The goal is encourage civil discussion, share stories, offer encouragement, consolation and support, pass along information, help in keeping conversations going. The thing I really don't ever want to do is apply any censuring to a post. Every one who has an opinion on a subject should always be allowed to provide it. But there are rules we all need to follow to keep conversations decent and informative and civil. And you know? They are there to protect and encourage all of us to treat each other with respect and consideration.

I certainly don't have all the answers, probably precious few, but I have years of experiences and observations, and if in sharing some of them in appropriate places can help someone else better understand themselves and what they want out of life, then I've done a good job.

Being a mod means that we have been given the chance to help keep Laura's Playground a place where people with gender issues can come and share and learn and hopefully, feel better about themselves and others.

Hugz

Chloë

[Guest Mia J]

I like to feel that I am a member first and a mod second. My posts don't have anymore weight than any other member and I have learned so much from others here. I truly believe we are a family even if we can't always agree.

Mia

[Guest Robin Winter]

I'm the newbie here...I don't really know what to say. I'm still a little overwhelmed some days.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Shilo, Dear Heart........

You are a wonderful mod!

LOVE & HUGGS!

Dee Jay

[Guest Jenny C]

Many thanks to you all for your devotion ;-)

Jenny

[Guest Robin Winter]

Awww....thank you Dee Jay

[Sally]

This is one of the hardest and most demanding jobs that I have ever done and I love it.

We are just average people who came here searching for answers and found ourselves immersed in a huge family all with a common element and a great deal of diversity.

I was asked to be a moderator back in 2008 and I thought about it or a bit and then told MaryEllen that I would like to try, it was the best decision that I have ever made.

I have learned so much from reading all of those thousands of posts and checking all of those links - then responding to so many questions got me to open up about my own experiences - I do believe that moderating helped me with my transition.

I am living full time and I am the happiest I have been in as long as I can remember - I am not available as much as I was before - work and an actual life take some time but I cannot leave because we all help each other - I am not beyond needing help and I am certainly not going to leave anyone hanging when they need help.

I still am learning from everyone here - newest to longest term member (that would be member #1 - Laura), like all of the other mods I hope that I am still helping - I am still trying.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest John Chiv]

Dee Jay,

Actually you said it quite well.

I do have a couple of things to add. I was not a mess when I came here. Actually I was in a good place in my transition journey. I stayed because Laura's is unique. Have written about it in several posts. I did not have to stay here; I chose to stay. And I am glad.

John

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I was thrilled and honored to be made a moderator - and three years later? It is STILL a thrill and an honor.

Lizzie

[VickySGV]

Darned if I know why I was really asked to be on the moderator staff. If you look at my pictures, I am pretty ordinary looking, but my portraits have been known to keep mice out of attics. Its certainly not for how I look. I am really pretty open to sharing about my life experience -- (older folks can sustitute experience for the wisdom we are supposed to have) -- which has included some of the darker neighborhoods of the big cities both on the ground and in the heart. I know what being a parent is, and I also know how badly I did it before learning about the real me. My kids are all adult now, but I still remember the parenting. I was talking about that stuff before I became a moderator a short time ago, and will keep doing it now. I suppose the one thing it might be though is that someone in their own deepest cesspool of existence when I'm around will get a life line from me if I can do it. Then I'll listen and let you know that I am listening to what your life is and what you need. I have a ways to go though, and I will take you for whatever I can get from you. Thats what this place is for. I do want to help though to see that someone does not shove you back into that stinky swimming pool, and you do not repay my kindness or the kindness and wisdom of the others by shoving someone else into it.

[Guest Robin Winter]

Like everyone's been saying, I was honored to be asked. Honestly, I didn't even have to hesitate, because I already considered what I would do if asked quite a while ago. This place has been a haven for me, for what, 2 years now? Something like that...and I always said I wanted to give something back. I don't know if I'll ever be able to offer an even exchange, though, especially considering that the hardest parts of my transition are still to come. I imagine I have a lot more tears and will need a LOT more hugs and advice in the not so distant future. So...thanks for being there, everyone, and thanks for having the courage to put your own problems and fears aside for a little while to help someone else get through a tough patch. That goes for everyone, but doubly so for the mods and admins.

You're a stand up crew!

*Hugs you all*

[Guest John Chiv]

Hugs Shilo back.

John

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Thank you dj for posting this topic

Something that should be made clear to everyone (and you do point that out dj), as mods, we are still frail, complicated and struggling ourselves. Never think that mods have it all together. We all started out as fledgling members here at Laura's. I remember the mods and members who were so kind to me when I first joined Laura's.

We are all in this together.

Love you all

Brenda

[JenniferB]

Since I live close to the west coast of the US, at night I probably spend more time approving posts than I do actually participating on the forums. I participate when I feel I have something to contribute. Plus I like to start threads that stimulate discussion, like Dee Jay did here.

Like Shilo I am honored that I was asked to be a mod and have been one since Dec 2010. I was actually surprised when I was asked.

Jennifer

[Guest Donna Jean]

You're a stand up crew!

*Hugs you all*

And you're awesome!

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Guest NatashaJade]

It is truly and honor for me to serve as a mod here. And please believe that we are at your service as well as Laura's. We do this out of love for each and every person who makes their way to the Playground hoping to find something like an answer to something, that at times, doesn't seem to have an answer.

It's why we came and we remember why we found our way here and we remember those who offered us a kind word or hug (and still do!) and we try to live up to their good work and carry it forward.

And while I may be the only perfect moderator here (shut up, Tasha!)...okay, that's not me, it's someone else and I'm not telling...most of us are fallible and that's cool because we're humans. But we try to learn and not make those mistakes again or one of the Admins will put us in a re-education forum where Sally will give us cookies and cocoa and a comfy chair and remind us that we're loved, too.

I'm here because I believe I was given a gift in my transition and that gift was Laura's. And I do not take gifts like this lightly. And if I can give back jut a little of what I've received, then I can just begin to even the scales and make the world better for others.

I love you all!

Tasha

[Guest Donna Jean]

Thank you dj for posting this topic

Something that should be made clear to everyone (and you do point that out dj), as mods, we are still frail, complicated and struggling ourselves. Never think that mods have it all together.

Love you all

Brenda

Thanks, Brenda......a very good point......yes, we're fragile, too....and sometimes our work here is triggering for our own demons...

Good to see you, Babe!

LOVE

Dee Jay

[Guest Donna Jean]

Like Shilo I am honored that I was asked to be a mod and have been one since Dec 2010. I was actually surprised when I was asked.

Jennifer

Well, I wasn't surprised, Hon!

And while I may be the only perfect moderator here (shut up, Tasha!)...okay, that's not me, it's someone else and I'm not telling...most of us are fallible and that's cool because we're humans. But we try to learn and not make those mistakes again or one of the Admins will put us in a re-education forum where Sally will give us cookies and cocoa and a comfy chair and remind us that we're loved, too.

I love you all!

Tasha

Tasha...Tasha...Tasha......

All things in moderation....and modesty!.....lol

Cookies and coco for you!

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Carolyn Marie]

Dee Jay, when I arrived here I was in awe of you and Sally and Lizzie.

2 1/2 years later, I am still in awe. You always know just what to say, and just how to say it.

I've said this often, that even with all the posts I've read and written, I still learn something new almost every day. I've met the most amazing people, been witness to some glorious and wonderful things, and also some terrible, heartbreaking and infuriating things.

This is a community in every sense of the word except for the bricks and mortar. We have loves, squabbles, and all manner of drama. It's just like real life.

And I love it, and I love all of you. And I'm so glad to be a part of this place. That's why, after 12,000 posts and 2 1/2 years, I still come here dang near every day.

Thanks, all of you.

Love

Carolyn

[Guest Krisina]

I am honored that I was asked to be a moderator.

I didn't jump on it right away. I gave it some time to think about it. I'm glad I joined.

It made me learn that everyone is different. I read quite a lot of posts and make sure the post is following our guidelines. I make sure that if someone has posted something it is safe for both the member here posting it for their safety and privacy as well as for the person reading it. I also keep an eye out for posts that need addressing in the depression suicide forums. Not everyone's dysphoria is the same, sometimes it is mild others extreme. It doesn't make a person to be thought any less of as a person. I learned a lot about what to expect from transition from writings, topics, postings. We have a range of people here cross-dressers, androgynous, spouses, transsexuals. Some people have no plans to transition and don't need to or found ways to manage. Some people want to go into full transition and will while others still do but for various reasons are not or cannot. There is a lot of loss and pain I read about here ranging from loss of jobs friends family health. But, there is a lot of joy, jobs, health, friends, family and acceptance of themselves and others. Building up there self esteem. I am continually learning what to do and not to do. It helps me when I try to help and support others.

We all have or bad days, and then our really really bad days and we need somewhere to go, someone to talk to. Sometimes we aren't looking for an answer but just someone to listen and hear what we have to say. Other days we need help and want support from the people we have come to know on here or have just met.

We have our good days, our triumphant moments our success stories of what is happening in our lives and we want to share it. Show that it is possible and that if we could do it so can you.

I have learned that rushing into things is very often a recipe for disaster.

Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps.

I am grateful for the moderators who have done great work helping and being supportive here on Laura's. They have helped me out many times too. Making Laura's a safe place of tolerance to be when there are people looking for answers, acceptance of who they are after hiding it from others or just not sure who they are yet.

In the age of posting on the web where people can post vulgar comments or put up r rated photos, or try selling people scams, bullying berating and far worse and get away with it. Places where children and anyone else can see it, you won't find it here. There are young kids on here too and they need information and they need our support and protection too, to work things out and reaching out to their parents. If we didn't have all the protection keeping this place clean and civil too, parents would not allow their kids to go this site. They wouldn't be getting helpful support and information they were looking to make informed educated decisions and stop living in pain, confusion and fear of rejection.

A BIG THANKS TO THE CHAT MODERATORS.

I don't go into the chat rooms very often but I know they are in there and in the crisis room helping people out in real time!

Krisina

[Guest Juniper Blue]

I am inspired and grateful for all of the Mods ... THANK YOU !!

JB

[~Nova~]

As usual, I'm late. Don't mind me I'll find a spot in the back.

My troubles have been well documented on Laura's,and so have my good times. From suicide to BF...

I still to this day wonder why I was chosen to be a mod. When I was asked I was a train wreck of epic proportions. But I kept coming back, it wasn't for the witty banter or the photo of someone's dog, it was simple for me, it was safe on loving, the two things I needed most in life.

I was asked and didn't hesitate to accept. I often wonder if I do enough, if I pull my fair share. I know it doesn't matter how many posts I approve or how many posts I reply to, but whatever I do, it never seems enough. Why, because I know that some of the mods do so much.

Its not the mods that make Laura's. It's the members. The lost souls, the been there done that ones, the shy, the outspoken, all of the members. The mods, we keep it safe, the members make it wonderful.

Truth is I think I do more moderator stuff in PM. Members write just to say hi, or to ask deep questions, its truly magnificent. They feel comfortable enough to share. That's what being a mod is.

I love you all.

Autumn

[Guest Zabrak]

It's been three years since I joined Laura's and the Mod team. Obviously, I haven't been active here in along time. Still, I always come back and check up on it. I'm grateful I had a chance to give back to Laura's as a mod.

[Cyndee]

Thanks Dee Jay, chiming in now being a morning person on the left coast here, ahhhh LP and my first cup, look forward to it.

Being chosen as a moderator here at Laura's Playground was a real honor for me and I did not hestiate when asked. I looked at this responsibility as an opportunity to give forward, for I have received so much by participating here. The friendships I have built here have enriched my life in ways never imagined, not only online, but in real life. Transitioning in a family setting is ripe with pitfalls and land mines. I am happy to share my experiences and gain so much from the insights of others, what a sweet deal that is. This condition is so difficult to deal with, however by trying to help others I have in some ways mitigated some of it's potential negative impacts. Thanks Laura and the support staff for providing this resource to humanity, it's a lovely gift.

Love

Cynthia Rae -