After Hormones

[Guest Evan_J]

Hmmm. This came up on another forum, and after thinking about the relevancy for a second I decided I would throw it out here and see how folks think about it, what they think, if they have ever thought about it.....

It applies to everyone; mtf and ftms, and I'd like to hear from all age groups if possible including younger people who may not have started any HRT at all.

Assuming you make the decision to undergo hormone therapy what do you envision you will look like at age 50? 60? If you are an ftm how will you feel if you are arthritic, incontenent and bald with thick skin, a man's voice, and a phallo that possibly has seen less saggy days. Mtfs, have you ever pictured yourself in the same possible shape; the fat really did shift, the "softening" of your facial shape has evolved into "paunchy" "old lady cheeks", and the thinner skin is now just a magnet for easy bruising, age spots and being cold, while you sometimes accidently pee down your leg cuz you couldn't reach the toilet quite fast enough and sit down having had the vaginoplasty.

I asked all those things and created those images a) because they are the "realities" of aging after taking hormones (and the surgeries); some of their effects are life long whether you "change your mind" or not and B ) because it was suggested that many people in the beginning stages don't think of "what it'll really be like WAY down the road when they should.

Have any of you thought of any of those things/types of things and if you did what where they? If you didn't, how do those images make you feel?

[Guest Liam]

This is the biggest reason why I am still questioning whether or not I will take hormones. I want to make sure that I will be okay with myself and my body, not just as a young man but as an old man as well. Of course, everybody ages, and I'd rather age in a body that matches my gender. Still, it's kind of scary stuff to think about as a 19-year-old.

[Guest RainBird]

Interesting.. It doesn't really bother me, thinking of my life an old lady.. that's life, it happens to everyone at some stage

I dream that when I'm in my +50's, I'll be living out in a nice 'Queenslander style' house with big wide verandahs on a 25 acre rural property just out of town, married to a nice hubby w/ 2 kids, some horses and a dog hehe

Bugger this nursing home stuff, us 'outback gals' are born tough lol

xxoo

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

I can not imagine myself as an old man. The idea to be an old woman fit better to me.

I also thought about all the problems you get with HRT. Now I am in my mid 30s and I will never look like a young girl. So I have to imagine how I does look as a mid age woman.

Greetings

Nelly.

[Guest CharliTo]

I did...and I know I wanted to experience the young life while I could and I couldn't imagine myself as a middle aged man...just that thought made me want to throw up before.

I thought of myself as a middle aged woman...and I just figured that I need to make sure I keep myself in check and don't become overweight like my mom + sister are like >_<...but yeah, it was definitely in consideration when I was considering HRT.

[Guest Evan_J]

So far so good it seems; at least on this board the people who've commented have actually thought about the realities of time and HRT. I know when I was considering everything I almost "intentionally" looked at the non-perfect bodies, the screwed up srs (praying to God, don't let it be messed up), and the transster photos where you could tell the individual was "past it". And the reason I did was to ask myself "If it went that way could you live with it? Would you be alright? How would you be? Could you handle the dog ears or whatever? Cause folks it could go that way for any one of us. And if we're lucky we will all get old.

Remember, this question is not about lifestyle or accomplishment hopes and dreams the topic is the physical body and what it might end up looking like/ functioning like. Keep answering

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

actually I come me with woman in my size and weight range. I know that I will never look like a model. Up to now I like what I see.

Beside gender roles, I am thinking a lot about being old. When I see really old people 70+ I ask me if we will look the same in this age? I think not. If we take a look to old pictures when this people were young, you can see that they wear teh same clothing like in the past. So we will be really cool old people with bluw jeans or mini skirts .

We will get different diseases when we are old. They got a world war in the bones, we got to much food in the bones. The healthcare is better now. We make more sports, etc. I think we will look different to them in the same age.

But I have a also one question that fit into this thread. What happens if we get no hormones an more in the future? I mean the civilization disapear and no one produce or sell them anymore. What happens with the body? If you start HRT you must also know what happen if you stop doing it.

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest Martin]

I did think about male pattern balding and decided that losing my hair was preferable to dealing with a female body. I never really thought about a having a sagging penis. It never occurred to me, and now that I think of it, I'm not sure what it would mean for someone with such a small penis. On the other hand, a having a male voice was one of the first effects and one of the ones I looked forward to most. Fat redistribution was also something I really wanted, though it hasn't happened to the degree I wanted it to.

As for the other signs of aging - arthritis and so on - I have a hard time imagining them. When I do, they scare me. I keep telling myself that I deal with that when I get there. But that's not a matter of taking T, it's a matter of this culture devaluing aging.

If I lose my T right now, I'll start to bleed again with vicious cramps, my skin would change texture, and my fat would probably become even more female-oriented. My chances for a heart attack would go down, and my chances for osteoporosis would go up. After my hysto (this summer, if all goes well), my chances for osteoporosis would go way up. I think there's a few other nasty things that will happen as well. However, I think all of this is useless to worry about - chances are, it won't happen. And if it does happen in the U.S., I'll move back to Germany.

[Sally]

At my age 50+, I don't have the problem of looking at things in the distant future - I'm old now (people who say thaey are middle aged at 55 must be planning on living to 110). I also have both of my parents and my inlaws, all 4 over 80 and truthfully the differences between extremely old men and extremely old women is a great deal less than in younger men and woman. Men loose the muscle mass and have lower t-levels (like women) and women have lowered E-levels (like men). Did you ever notice that the older we get the more alike men and women look? I have thought about this, but as I said, past mid fifties and not on hormones yet - I'm not going to worry too much about it - I've passed the days of dreaming about being a model - now I just dream about being a woman, no prince charming - I'm married and my wife has decided to stay with me so happily ever after is still an option.

Just be realistic in your expectations about what life will be like after 'the change' - everything won't be perfect (nothing ever is), the world won't suddenly change and become a better place - the only real change will be in how you feel about yourself and if that isn't enough for you - reconsider before you start your hormones. If that's enough, like it is for me - find a doctor and get started, that's what I'm doing.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Karaka]

It doesn't really matter because all of the elderly are pathetic on some level or another since they're shells of their former glory. The only decision that you have to make is if you want to go bald and yell at kids in your yard, or be mugged and have your purse stolen.

[Guest jantonio]

Good topic. To tell you the truth I would rather be and die as an old man then an old woman. Even if I get bold or have tons of grey hairs and wrinkles I will still be ok with the steps I took. Because at least I have finally become who I really am.

Jose Antonio...

[Guest Drew]

i would much rather be an old man. i fully believe in making the best out of every situation so in the future when i do get old i plan to be a fun and somewhat eccentric old man. i'll sit on my porch to watch the trash cans, i'll talk on and on about how i could have made it in the major leagues, i plan to have a good time with old age, provided i'm lucky enough to get there.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora.

Well what can I say...I started HRT in my mid forties[1998] and I'm now a happy and content middle-age woman[well what's middle age anyway-just a state of mind]...I've always been a fit and healthy person, so the middle age gravity drag has not impacted on me as yet...[i'm 55 in birth years but 40sh in looks]

I guess for the young 'immortal' ones, getting old is not part of their mental make up and rightly so...live in the here and now and enjoy every minuite of it...You will be older soon enough so why worry about it now!...and if your body starts to lag, drag, drips and dribbles, enjoy that too -it's part of life...And as others have already mentioned at least you will be living as the 'real' you-warts and all...

The chances are on T most F2Ms will go bald and it's a strong possiblilty both the F2Ms and M2Fs[on E] will start to get that old middle age spread-nothing that a good lipo surgeon can't fix...Again just enjoy it...

Happy mindfulness

Metta Jendar

[Guest Evan_J]

I have to admit to feeling much more encouraged after reading most of the posts, originally someone suggested (not here) that there was just a lot of 'fadism" going on and that a lot of people -particularly under 30- were not imaging life later or how it "really" will be in senior years if they acted on the hormone therapy and physical aspects.

I know that thats out there; some amount of "glorification" or "romantic notion" for people who tend toward doing whatever is different or unusual, but -at least from people who've posted- I don't see a lot of that around here and in a way it makes me feel kind of disgruntled (?) at the party suggesting it even though I'm pretty certain it was based on worry.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

This has been a pretty interesting thread!

For me, it was those visions of myself as an old lady that really solidified my decision to transition to male. A young female body is bad enough, but I can't imagine getting stuck with an old one. When I'd think about myself in old age if I didn't transition, I had this feeling of having wasted my life. Whether you are a man or a woman, there is some crappy stuff that happens when you get older. That's life. Some of the problems are different and some are the same, none of them are fun. My take is that bad things are easier to bear if you are at peace with yourself. That's part of getting older too, being at peace with yourself and with the decisions you've made. In my case, I feel like NOT deciding to transition would be something I'd regret forever, so I am going to go for it.

Drew, I think the eccentric old man thing would be fun. One of the research projects I work for has a lot of older adults as participants. A lot of the old men are hilarious. They just say what's on their mind and it's awesome.

[Guest harvester52]

Very interesting topic here.

I've actually thought about this, and I picture myself as one of those bald, old men with thick glasses (I already wear glasses), suspenders, and crooked, calloused, arthritis-stricken hands (already got those, too.) The idea of that doesn't bother me at all.

[Guest CharliTo]

i would much rather be an old man. i fully believe in making the best out of every situation so in the future when i do get old i plan to be a fun and somewhat eccentric old man. i'll sit on my porch to watch the trash cans, i'll talk on and on about how i could have made it in the major leagues, i plan to have a good time with old age, provided i'm lucky enough to get there.

lol :-) you'll be an awesome old man.

[Guest carly54]

I would rather be an old lady than an old man. Sagging and old lady cheeks wouldn't bug me. I would just be who I truly want to be instead of being a old man who is miserable because he never transitioned. I'm cold already. And peeing down my leg... I guess I would just have to wear diapers .

[Guest Cody_T]

I'm not especially into fads... I don't think I've ever done anything 'cool' in my life, unless you count finally being able to eat uncooked top ramen years after it lost popularity as a snack food I'm sure it's possible that people could consider being trans a fad, but I would think that these people would be actually out there shoving it in everyone's faces rather than looking for legitimate advice.

i think part of my decision to finally accept this and stop pretending that it was going to go away if I thought rationally enough, was actually trying to imagine myself as a woman at any further stage of development- I couldn't handle it. I don't have any delusions that I'm going to be wildly attractive at any point, and even though I think my grandmothers are much more attractive than my grandfathers, I've always wanted to be like the latter when I got old. I want my hair to get grey the way my dad's is, and when my nieces and nephews inevitably comment on my bald spot, I'll just smile. I've actually always want to have the old crooked calloused arthritic hands because I found them as a sort of sign of comfort, of like, masculinity and strength. In elementary school I couldn't stand holding someone's hand when it was soft and moist, and I was proud of my dry calloused hands already I see myself as a bald old man (due mainly to my future stress and possible heart attack which I should probably start trying to avoid) whose stomach sticks out over his pants and he's too old to care, sitting on an old recliner with his reading glasses on doing a crossword or jumble while watching the history channel (like my grandpa), or playing cards and drinking (like my other grandpa). And then when my grandchildren come, I'll teach them to play the guitar, or bring them outside and teach them to shoot bb guns and use a hammer and saw, and set them up to catch whatever small wildlife lives around my house. And then when they're annoying I'll yell at them and they'll run to their other grandpa who is hopefully a lot better with kids than I am.

but I also think I'd like to be a somewhat non-bald adult for just a little bit.

[Guest CharlieRose]

Oh, I've pictured what I'd be like as a Grandfather before. My daughter'll be like, "Honey, go talk to Grandpa, you know he loves to talk to you!" and my grandson or daughter'll say, "But he's boring and never shuts up about black and white movies!"

[Guest silverpetals]

...

Assuming you make the decision to undergo hormone therapy what do you envision you will look like at age 50? 60? If you are an ftm how will you feel if you are arthritic, incontenent and bald with thick skin, a man's voice, and a phallo that possibly has seen less saggy days. Mtfs, have you ever pictured yourself in the same possible shape; the fat really did shift, the "softening" of your facial shape has evolved into "paunchy" "old lady cheeks", and the thinner skin is now just a magnet for easy bruising, age spots and being cold, while you sometimes accidently pee down your leg cuz you couldn't reach the toilet quite fast enough and sit down having had the vaginoplasty.

...

sadly perhaps, c'est la vie.

it isn't a choice that we can make; it is our destination unless we die young. we could ask this question to a newborn - since it's as inevitable for them as it is for us.

whether we are trans or not, old age will still be there to meet us. whilst transitioning, you might say that we have a degree of control over our lives that many people will never take, because it isn't right for them. but after transition we are the same; we have no more power over what we are to become than does anyone else - arguably, we never did in the first place.

growing old has no further implications for us than it does for the rest of the population - would it be necessary to ask this question to everybody in the world; is it something we need to be concerned about?

it almost seems like a warning, a nightmare scenario when phrased like that and peppered with so many undesirable aspects.

but it is destiny, and it doesn't spell our doom; rather it spells a new stage of our lives.

i hope that i don't sound rude or confrontational, as i really don't intend to be at all - but since it's fated for most of us, and needn't be seen in a negative light...might the best answer to this question be "i don't care"?

[Guest JoanneL]

I am M2f, still on hormones, 74 years of age and have none of the conditions mentioned above. It all depends on how you treat your body. I am very active and walk 9 or 10 kms two or three times weekly. My recommendation - eat , drink and exercise in moderation.