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The Number One Reply, I'm Not Sure


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Thank you both, ive crossdressed for a long time and prefer the way i look as a female And feel far more comfortable that way, it is difficult to know for sure but i do think im happier like that tbh, i wasnt sure where to go for advice or help or support so looked up online about forums that could help and thats how i ended up here, i dont like having body hair anywhere really either and am a lot happier in thongs and tights than i am in boxers and socks, i wear thongs nearly all the time and tights under my daily clothes and lined leggibgs under my clothes when its cold

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Hey all, I've been transitioning for about a year, (MtF) and have been satisfied with my changes and my hormones but I've recently been having a bit of a crisis. This is going to sound juvenile and weird but I recently came across a fiction that has characters who are changing the way I think about masculinity and also about myself. I'm very confused and not sure what to make of it. The fiction is called Beastars if that helps someone answer. Legoshi and Louis are both characters that I can't get out of my head. I'm a woman, I think, but Louis feels like a past self and Legoshi feels like who I want to be. I've gone from saying im a 6/6 on the kinsey scale, full lesbian, to saying 5/6, homoflexible because of this show. 

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome @NicoMorgan it’s a pleasure to meet you.  I’m not sure why you would consider this a crisis.  It opens up more opportunity for you, imho.  The sexual orientation spectrum just expanded for you and now you're left with many more options than you ever previously considered.


Since you’re new here, please consider introducing yourself to our forum members if you are comfortable.  If you decide to tell us a little more about yourself, we have an Introduction section for this specific purpose. It helps us all get to know you and learn a little more about your situation which in turn helps us better help you with any answers.


Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am still questioning my gender as well.  I made a long posts on general forum about my dysphoria episodes and my story on introduction forum.  Maybe I am just afraid to face it.  In the past, I thought everyone felt and did what I did.  I am not sure any more. 

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  • 1 year later...

Well i can't exactly say I'm not sure about myself I use to identify as male until I lost all my sexual desires right now I don't even identify having a gender at all I  the gender others perceive me as I have gone through a lot of traumatic incidents over the last few months and there is nobody who can help my family can't handle my crying and screaming in terror from time to time I do cry a lot I have lost a lot of joy I feel bad so many people hate things for no good reason and it really brings me down



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  • 5 weeks later...
On 11/21/2008 at 1:15 PM, Guest Amanda L Richards said:

I was confused for a very long time and didn't know what I was. I used to just say I was cursed or that I got cheated out of what I should have been at birth, a genetic woman. Now that I am here with what I have I had to deal with it and for a long time I didn't.

I hated myself, I thought I was ugly. My body physically was nither male nor female distinctively. As a male, I didn't have the taught muscles that one has despite how hard I worked at trying to develop them. I just ended up hurting myself through strain. I was always a little fleshy in parts of my body that if developed would have been female.

Even though I had male parts and appearance I had fleshier hips and bottom and more on the breast side as well. This confused me for a long time.

To make matters worse as a teen I was attracted to girls but soon started to notice that I had a significant attraction to men as well. After pondering all this at 20 The "I am cursed" became a mantra which stayed for many years to come.

I found that the definitions that the psychological profession uses merely for convenience of identifying, confused me even more.

Finally I had to come to grips with the force in my life that was now bringing my whole life to a screeching halt becasue I wasn't addressing these issues. I was hiding them. When I went back to reponder them again the intense confusion came over me and I was becoming depressed about life in general.

In the end I had to sit down and think, What are the facts here? First I like dressing like a woman, I like to be like one, I wanted to be one, and secondly I am attracted to men .

Even now I am trying not to settle on labels so I just accept myself as being attracted to men and in the capacity as a woman. This is a feeling of complete fulfillment.

Maybe we all just have to look at "ourselves" alone and say what DO I LIKE OR WHAT MAKES ME FEEL WHOLE? without someone elses opinion or influence. I we see ourselves in the light of our own vision, then maybe our own individual truth reveals itself.

I guess there is something said about listen to your Heart

I don't know what your intent was when you posted this but it was exactly what I needed to hear.   Thank you so much for sharing, truly, thank you.  May the worst of your future be the best of your past!

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  • 2 months later...

So hard to answer. The back and forth games I play in my head sometimes leads to different answers. Usually it’s either non binary or trans but I’m still not sure. 

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