Where do I fit?

[Guest looking4alska26]

Well I'm purely confused at this point. I don't feel male at all but I also don't feel like I'm a girl on the inside trapped in the wrong body. I think both genders have been at war within me for a very long time and as a result I feel that the extremes of both genders do not fit me. In truth I think I would like to remain where I am, somewhat androgynous, bisexual, and just mentally in an in between state. However physically this idea sounds terrible to me as I don't want to exist in a point of mixed gender. I feel no real attachment to a gender mentally, but I prefer women's clothing and I feel that I would just prefer to have a female body rather than a male one. Is this feeling shared by anyone or am I just crazy and perplexed? Would a gender therapist allow me to transition? I came out to my sister about being confused about my gender identity and she said that while she supports me, she doesn't see me as a girl (which is fair as my interests are not particulary feminine it is more in my mannerisms and my emotional availabilty. I'm not saying there aren't effeminate men, I'm just saying i dont think i'm one of them). Even though mentally I feel that transitioning wouldn't change me, I'd just have the type of body I would feel more comfortable with, the social transition is inevtable and it terrifies me. I have no attachment to my male body and in sexual fantasies I always see myself as a woman. I'm still a teenager so I'm trying to figure this all out rather quickly so if I transition the hormones will have the maximum effect. any thoughts/guidance/ kind words assuring me I'm not completely insane?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Honey, you are not insane and your questioning is typical. I seems that you are gender dysphoric but you cannot ever know if you are transsexual without some help. And a gender therapist works with you on that. To think a therapist 'may not allow you to transition' is nonsense. YOU work to see if that is truly what you must do.

Personally? I was never an effeminate man. my playacting was that good. And I enjoyed some of what I could do and even be allowed to do, because of living in an apparent male body. But all that time? I secretly cried over what I couldn't be - the girl I felt I was.

It's complicated. I strongly suggest that you get some assistance from a gender dysphoria trained therapist.

Lizzy.

[Guest looking4alska26]

To clarify about the social transition part, I have no objection to presenting as female and being regarded as one ( I would actually prefer it) but I know that it would kill my family. I know they would support me but it would definitely be stressful for them and I also fear not being accepted as a woman