Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Apathy...


Guest Amberley_Vail

Recommended Posts

Guest Amberley_Vail

Apologies in advance for rambling.

I dont know if this is normal, whether this means Im not commited, whether im confused, whatever.

Very recently, Ive completely lost interest in being feminine. After coming out to my friend, getting some online counselling, and setting myself up for a referral from my new GP, I now find myself looking at my girls clothes with the same apathy as I do my guys clothes. I still have my nails painted nice, and feel much better keeping my body hair in check, but all of a sudden Ive stalled.

I find myself wantign to do as little as possible. My PS3 hasnt been on in days [a shock for me!] I just seem to work, go to the gym, come home and sleep. Ive put off going to see my friend that lives 200 yards away, and I find myself looking for excuses to not do things.

Do any of you other girls get to feeling like this? Am I just retreating from the perceived new freedom of knowing who I am? Because right now it feels like im regressing rather than just shying away. =[

xx

Link to comment
Guest Amanda Whyte

Amberly, my suggestion is not to make any decisions and just keep receiving counseling. I am sure there are various reasons that can cause apathy and you dont want to jump to conclusions. Just hold where you are at and see if you and the counselor can get to the bottom of it.

Hugz,

Mandy

Link to comment

Hi Amberley,

Yes, I know the feeling. I don't know why it happens unless it's like a pressure valve, releasing a little energy.

Don't push yourself and definitely don't feel bad or worried about it. You should continue to talk with your therapist and look at it as another dimension you are discovering about yourself.

Hugs,

Shari

Link to comment
Guest Amberley_Vail

I was packing up some stuff in preparation for my move next month. I packed up all my girly clothes and felt nothing. Not sadness that I couldnt wear them for a month, not happiness that I was seeing the back of them, no anger that I was having to hide again, nothing.

I hate this state. Ive gone from knowing who I am and hiding, to knowing with a measure of openness, to not knowing anymore. I dont know who I want to see in the mirror any more.

Meh. I subscribe to Nancy from Terminators view. "In a hundred years, who's going to care?"

Link to comment
Guest Jenny C

I totally understand you !!!

You know, We're totally free to experience things as they come... It is a right and I think we have no choice but to accept it... Follow the flow.

I see my progression in life as a two step forward, one step backward thing... Sometime, three step forward... and 8 backward or whatever...

Why not !!! ?

It is the joy of freedom... Of being who I am, who evolves all the time...

Every possibilities are there... And usually there is message for us at the end of those steps... And who are we to judge... What appear to be backward steps are sometime forwards step in the end or sideways steps...

It's the joy of life... ;-) To follow our path...

The answers come, when it is time... no choice...

Love,

Jenny

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 146 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Birdie
    • Petra Jane
    • Adrianna Danielle
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,081
    • Most Online
      8,356

    brightmom
    Newest Member
    brightmom
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ben1868
      Ben1868
      (22 years old)
    2. Charity
      Charity
      (41 years old)
    3. EagerBeaver
      EagerBeaver
    4. Nagato
      Nagato
      (33 years old)
    5. Star
      Star
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Birdie
      Woke up early to prepare Mexican food for lunch as I had a friend coming over, but he forgot today is mother's day and cancelled.    Looks like I'll be eating Mexican food for dinner tonight. 
    • VickySGV
      My condolences to the people of WA.  A huge warning about that type of politician though, those who broadcast the Anti-Trans message rarely if ever attend to any important legislative issues to benefit their constituency.  They are mostly single trick dogs, whose trick is to empty their food bowl and whine for more food.
    • Ivy
      This stuff seems to be the major talking point for "conservatives" these days.  Just shows that they don't know what they're talking about, and don't particularly care.
    • Jani
      You are both beautiful.  Have fun.
    • Willow
    • Mirrabooka
      Mother's Day, so I thought I'd do the right thing and cook. So, we got Chinese takeaway! 😆   Actually, we planned it days ago, just thinking that tonight we would treat ourselves. Complete with a lovely bottle of Cab Sav.
    • Mirrabooka
      Exactly.   A plain old "Good morning" should always suffice, for example, whether the recipient expects a gender specific greeting or not.
    • Ladypcnj
      Hi awkward yet sweet, yeah, I tried dumping her but my current health insurance keeps directing me back to her as my primary, yet there are other doctors to choose from, but they are far away.
    • Ladypcnj
      Hi Birdie, I can relate to that.
    • Mirrabooka
    • Mirrabooka
      This sort of stuff makes my blood boil. A prospective state politician has gained approval from his party's state council to run in their state election next year.   He once stated that the + part of LGBTQIA+ is where pedophiles are categorized.   For clarity, in Australia the Liberal party is our main conservative party. They have lurched further to the right over the past 10 years or so. Our main progressive, union backed party is Labor.   WA Liberal party approves Dr Thomas Brough, candidate who linked LGBTQIA+ community with paedophiles - ABC News
    • Willow
      Happy Mother’s Day    I have to be at church earlier than normal for a mic check.  I have been going over what I am to say, both silently reading and reading it aloud.  My concern is that my voice will freeze as it sometimes does.     I felt I was honored very highly yesterday by my minister and supporter on my journey.  He and another minister are Standing together to become the next co-moderators of the Presbyterian Church (USA).  They included me to receive an advance copy of their initial submission.  I was one of only 6 people listed on the email to receive this.  Later this week it will go out to all the voting commissioners that will be in Salt Lake City for the meeting.  I have asked to be allowed to attend the meeting to support him and Rev CeeCee Armstrong, whom he is standing with.    We’ll time to get ready .   Willow
    • Mirrabooka
      Nup. Not an option. You need to keep going and keep us all in the loop, and we need to keep seeing your beautiful smile!   Party, schmarty. I'm 61 and haven't had a birthday party since I was 30. Even that was just a crummy meal at the pub with a few friends who we have since lost contact with. Don't sweat it.
    • Mirrabooka
      On behalf of everyone reading your entries here @Sally Stone, THANK YOU for creating such an informative thread. But there is one thing you might have neglected to say at the end, and that is, "And they all lived happily ever after!" ❤️   Reno sounds like a pretty good place to call home. I understand the attraction of living in a place that is not too big but not too small.   I look forward to reading your subsequent posts about specific aspects of your journey.
    • Betty K
      Hi and welcome. A few things...   1. You're right, you can't trust your friends w/r/t the question of passing. How would they even know if you pass or not? My sister used to do the same thing, telling me that no-one knew I was trans and that to her I just looked like a cis woman. I still don't know if she was serious or just trying to make me feel good, but I learned to not listen to her on that topic.   2. Buuuut, having said that, I thought I looked good, and I think that is all she was really trying to tell me, that she liked how I looked as a woman. Maybe this is obvious, but I feel it gets overlooked: passing and looking good are not the same thing, not even remotely. Your friends (I presume) are trying to tell you that you look good as you are.   3. Having said all that, I think non-passing transmascs have a harder time than us non-passing transfemmes. All I have to do to get gendered correctly 95% of the time is wear a dress and makeup and only a few seriously ignorant folks and diehard transphobes misgender me. For you, it's much harder to find signifiers powerful enough to send the same message.   So in short, I don't have any answers, except that you're right, it sucks, and I hope the situation improves over time. But passing isn't everything. Maybe you're right, and in a less conservative state it wouldn't happen so often, because you'd have more people like you surrounding you. I know that where I chose to live while transitioning has been a big part of making the process a positive experience. I'd hate to be in Texas atm.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...