Is this Androgyne?

[Guest Angelica Alice]

Ok so I'm 14 and I've been confuse a lot about my whole gender and sexuality but I think I got my sexuality thing worked out. So I do not feel I'm in the wrong body. I WOULD LOVE LOVE LOVE to be a girl someday, I day dream what my life would be like as a girl in school like half the time and it kinda gets serious. I'm ok with my male gender but If I had a chance I would change it. I've crossdressed a few times. And ya soo confusing to me!

[Guest Alder]

hmmm being able to tell someone else that they are androgynous can be a tricky thing. Many androgne are completely happy with their birth assigned sex, and it's the mentality and persona which is the mix. Others wish they had less identifying(or perhaps more androg identifying) bodies, or like myself bodies closer to that of the opposite body.

Really the desire to be female could be due to bigenderism, or androgyne mental cues... it's a tough call really and is almost best discovered by ones self through some soul searching, which yes, can take time. There is also the consideration that as we as humans grow and mature our mentality and persona's change and simply time can help sort things out.

Single gendered(trans or cis), bigendered, or ungendered really isn't the key though I understand that having a label even loosely applied helps the human psyche cope with ourselves and our lives and explain ourselves to others quickly. So long as you live as in a manner which expresses yourself(while not causing harm to others and their ability to express) answers and sound of mind will come after....

I think I rambled a bit and probably got all off course and such.... my minds a bit busy myself with contemplating where on the spectrum I lie, so just remember even during a storm of confusion you're not the only one out there clinging to life rafts and floatsom.

[Guest rikkicd64]

hmmm being able to tell someone else that they are androgynous can be a tricky thing. Many androgne are completely happy with their birth assigned sex, and it's the mentality and persona which is the mix. Others wish they had less identifying(or perhaps more androg identifying) bodies, or like myself bodies closer to that of the opposite body.

Really the desire to be female could be due to bigenderism, or androgyne mental cues... it's a tough call really and is almost best discovered by ones self through some soul searching, which yes, can take time. There is also the consideration that as we as humans grow and mature our mentality and persona's change and simply time can help sort things out.

Single gendered(trans or cis), bigendered, or ungendered really isn't the key though I understand that having a label even loosely applied helps the human psyche cope with ourselves and our lives and explain ourselves to others quickly. So long as you live as in a manner which expresses yourself(while not causing harm to others and their ability to express) answers and sound of mind will come after....

I think I rambled a bit and probably got all off course and such.... my minds a bit busy myself with contemplating where on the spectrum I lie, so just remember even during a storm of confusion you're not the only one out there clinging to life rafts and floatsom.

Very good,I,m 65 and still contemplate daily on my life as a tg or cd or whatever lable is apporiate.

[Guest Micha]

Ok so I'm 14 and I've been confuse a lot about my whole gender and sexuality but I think I got my sexuality thing worked out. So I do not feel I'm in the wrong body. I WOULD LOVE LOVE LOVE to be a girl someday, I day dream what my life would be like as a girl in school like half the time and it kinda gets serious. I'm ok with my male gender but If I had a chance I would change it. I've crossdressed a few times. And ya soo confusing to me!

Like you, I also don't feel my body is wrong, not in the sense that I should have a female body (my ideal body type does not exist, so it's just a fantasy). As well, I'd have prolly been happier if I was born female, but I'd still be androgynous inside. Aaaaaaand I also day dreamed about being born female. So as far as that goes, you've got common ground with this androgyne.

I wouldn't change my body to be a girl, it'd be a wasted effort. My gender expression (the way I look/act/dress/move) isn't as important to me as my gender identity (the me inside). Surgery and hormones, like clothes, will not make me more me. Cleansing my consciousness of conditioned behaviors and unlearning my male training, that will help me to be more myself.

Tha's jus me though, not a universal standard.

This is different for everyone, someone may feel this way but not identify as androgyne, and someone may identify as androgyne and not feel anything like this. This comlexity does not help with the confusion, but the thing about it is: There's no WRONG way.

Don't let the labels define you - use them to describe yourself, use them to help understand yourself.

And take your time.

[Guest Luna Selene]

Throwin my two cents on Micha's thought.

And take your time.

I can't tell you enough how important this step is. I didn't find myself until recently (22), I often feel that I wish I could've known sooner. However, knowing my reckless self, I may have just upped and gotten changed. (My mindset at the time was more MTF than Andro) Upon self refelection I have come to the conclusion that I probably wouldn't be fully happy as a woman either, (still clinging to masculine qualities that I enjoy in myself.(I've found that to be very important and comforting.)) so by my rash choices, I could have ended up in a worse state.

Now that's obviously not truth for everyone. Some people feel totally Androgynous and still opt for Hormones, and that's what makes them happiest. That's totally cool too. However, you are not the person that you will be in five-ten-fifteen years down the line. Your goals, and aspirations will change; your friends and the traits that you seek in friendship will change; even (especially) your own outlook on life will change with each passing occurance. It's important to stay grounded, and if you do some serious self examination, you can use whatever you came up with as your solid base.

Last little bit and then I'll shut up (I swear(hopefully))

My tool for you. Draft up your ideas and concepts and understanding of not only Androgyny and Transgender, but of yourself and your relationship to them. If you draw, Sketch away. If you write, come up with some beautiful, single sentences that describe your idea. Whatever medium you decide (or all of em!) just get your thoughts on paper. Once you feel satisfied with your answer (no real time frame, I've been working on mine still, and this technique is like second nature to me...) put it away for a year. Come back to it, and go over it. Note any upgrades, changes or simple deletions. If it is still relatively what you had imagined, you can be pretty sure it's not just a passing idea.

I hope all this makes sense, but then again, I have been saying that all my life.

I think it's great that you are taking the initiative to take your life into your own hands, rather than just accept what social norms are placed upon us. Even if you don't find yourself among the Andro/Trans/LGB/etc... lifestyle, you at least have a deeper knowledge and tolerance of humanity.

And that's all I can really ask for.

_Luna

[Guest Lani]

Think about it.. Your the ONLY ONE that knows......

[Guest aleon515]

You'd be the only one that knows this. However, your age is interesting here. I think some kids your age will experiment or play with gender.

There is nothing whatsoever wrong with this, don't get me wrong. I think you should feel free to be... But it might not be quite the same as someone who is older. OTOH, some kids will start figuring out they are not exactly their assigned gender at your age.

--Jay Jay