Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Any Mormons Out There?

Guest Cursed_Derek

Recommended Posts

Guest Cursed_Derek

Hey sorry if I sound all whiny right now but I really need to let off some steam.

Anyway. Tonight I had to go with my little sister and parents to this thing for the church called New Beginnings. It's basically just a little program to welcome the 11-year-old girls (like my sister) into the next class called Young Women (the Mormon church is very gender-oriented and tends to be against Trans people). Well I didn't want to go in the first place since no one knows I'm trans except my mom who doesn't acknowledge it and I would have to wear a dress (I have to wear one at least once a week for church anyway). Of course I ended up going anyway. While I was there, boiling in my own humilliation for having to wear a dress in the first place, they passed out these stupid little cheap plastic tiara, magic wand, and ring packs that the lady conducting the thing (who's also my aunt who I don't get along with) said we'd have to put on "because we're all princesses of God". I really didn't want to put mine on but my parents were wisper-yelling at me from both sides and my aunt, along with the rest of the room, sat there and stared at me and wouldn't go on until I had put on the tiara and ring and was holding the wand and I had to wear them for the rest of the night.

Needless to say it was one of the most degrading and humilliating moments of my life.

Are there any other trans-guys out there from Mormon, or just christian, families who have problems like this?


Link to comment

Well I'm not Mormon, or even Christian, but I've had my fair share of moments like that. On several occasions my family had forced me to wear dresses, even though I am already out to my mother and sister, and ever since I have been out to them they push me harder and harder to conform to the societal idea of a "female." I absolutely loathe it. Nothing makes me more angry--the thought that hey have disrespected me to that great degree is too much.

But luckily for me, it doesn't happen very often.

Link to comment

So far, I've had two friends apologize profusely for making me wear bridesmaids' dresses. "Dude, if I'd known you were a dude, I never would have made you wear that."

Link to comment
Guest Gregg Jameson

Hi Derek,

I'd just read your post and I'm sorry you have had to contend with this.

I can feel your pain... feels a bit like humiliation, too ...and anger (the "steam" you are letting off) in your post.

Your feelings around this are totally understandable.

I recall feeling very uncomfortable in female specific clothing, since I can remember. A very astute teacher had picked up on this and had talked with me a little about it, just enough to let me know she was aware of some of my discomfort. (That was in the 5th grade.) I wore clothing that was as adrogynous as possible, which is easier for females to get away with in our society, even as adults. I was an avid athlete and was very active as student council president, etc, etc.

At that age, I had mostly refused to wear dresses, etc. I had gotten away with this at school...and was well accepted by my peers.

I was brought up in an ultra conservative Christian denomination. This was very hard on me and on just about everyone, as we'd all had aspects of ourselves that were not in perfect alignment with the teachings. There was a tremendous amount of pressure then to conform or to be severed from the church (which was then my extended family) and to be sentenced (in some of their minds) to an everlasting hell. So, although I was not Mormon, I think I understand some of the pressures you are dealing with at this time?

Even now, I cringe and feel some anger with your story when you mention the woman with the idea that you should gladly and proudly wear the tiara, the ring and hold the magic wand! OMGosh! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I understand your parents were adding a tremendous amount of pressure for you to cooperate. Wow! I am so sorry you had to endure this! :o

I hope you will continue to interact here with us and anywhere you find you can write/talk about your feelings and your experiences.

Any chance of getting your mom or even both of your parents to truly listen to you, to truly take you seriously?

With Concern and Respect,


Link to comment
Guest PresCreed

Derek, I know exactly how you feel with this. I was adopted and raised in a simple-minded Mormon family (Mother's side) and from the day I could understand the word "church" I have never enjoyed the company of the Mormon faith. I have discovered most are not understanding of LGBT individuals. I kept my secret from my family up to last October however I was always very verbal in my disgust for dresses. My mother and father forced me to go to Young Women's every Tuesday until I was 18 (thankfully I skipped out for an entire year. My mother would leave me and drop me off, and I would escape to Sonic until it was over, or walk around the church listening to music.) Mormons are a very traditional religion and they believe that people who are GLBT are not natural and that God doesn't make mistakes. I am open to freedom of religion, however because of the Mormon faith, I have completely lost all interest of religion and grimace when it is mentioned.

My mother would force dresses (terrible ones at that) and she even forced me to dance with a young man at one of the dances, even though I was very keen on not doing it. My entire family is Mormon and I have an Aunt just like yours. I know your need to vent...

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Turner_53

I was mormon and I am having similar issues. Especially because I am not out. I have issues everytime I go to church wearing a dresss and everything. I have lost faith especially because they are non accepting of certain people.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Hi Turner_53, welcome to the Playground, please drop over to the Introductions Forum where you stand a chance of getting to know more of the members. Also, please read the Rules and Guidelines, also referred to as the Terms & Conditons which you can access at the bottom right of every forum page.

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
Guest Jenn348

I am an LDS MTF, and while I don't share your disgust for dresses I cand definitely understand your frustrations with the high emphasis the church places on gender.

Don't be so frightened, and don't believe the horror stories people post up about being LDS and being transgender. If you approach leadership in a respectful manner and articulate the situation well, you'll be surprised at how much they'll actually listen. The church has (in an unknown number of cases) supported people through transition and they live normal, happy, productive, worthy lives. If you work toward it, you can get there!

Read up on the causes (or etiology in medical jargon) of gender issues. Get familiar enough to give a brief summary to people who need the information to make an informed judgment. Make it clear that you aren't looking to be a sex pervert, just that you can't spiritually progress with this problem and that it needs solved to be a better and more healthy person. Have patience and respect with this issue and you can get through it.

Remember that you (yes YOU personally) are entitled to personal revelation. Pray about this issue, and you'll get the answer. Then, stick to it bravely like Joseph Smith did. Don't let anybody tell you you don't have a direct line to God to get the answers (especially something as important as your spiritual gender).

If you need anything, I'm here on the forums.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 104 Guests (See full list)

    • Nelsea
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • KymmieL
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. carolcrissy
    2. DanielleBrewer
      (51 years old)
    3. RobinCarly
    4. sherlockian2342
      (47 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      That would also include race, I presume?  Would you really take America back to the 40's & 50's?   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Surprised Utah was first to this party.  Probably won't be the last.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado, of course.  I totally disagree with the decision.  It will most likely go to the Supreme Court anyway.     Though it may affect me negatively, I support the ability to refuse service for any reason...even including my gender and appearance.  I don't like the idea of using the force of the state to support me, when I can take my money elsewhere.     That said, I don't get why a business would refuse a sale.  Cash spends, no matter who handled it last. Seems like a great step in the direction of going-out-of-business.  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Mmindy Well, the discussion about the Keurig was a long time ago.  It wasn't THAT important, so I let it go since I'm rather spoiled in other ways.  I'm used to the Russian tea, since I lived with my GF before we joined our husband's family.  Not my favorite, but its ok.  When I moved in with GF years ago, I knew I was going to be eating a lot of Russian food for the rest of my life.... not to mention dealing with her dominant nature.     @heatherd You have definitely had a lot going on simultaneously.  I don't think I could handle two major legal issues at once.  I can only imagine the stress.  Hopefully everything will turn out well.      
    • Lydia_R
      That's an interesting picture with the squirrel Mmindy
    • Jani
      Your cats are adorable @KathyLauren.  My girl has never been outside that I am aware of.  The pads of her paws are a nice soft pink with nary a mark on them.  She has no desire to go out.     Zulu is cute hiding among the papers! 
    • Lydia_R
      Thank you everyone!  Sharing your experience helped me decide.  I wound up getting 4 birth certificates.  I only had one of my old one.  I submitted my application and they took my money, so it's just a waiting game now.   Hugs, Lydia
    • Ivy
      Same here.  After years of denial, I got the nerve to wear a skirt (privately) - just to feel what it was like.  The dam kinda broke.
    • heatherd
      Things going good for me.Went to court on Thursday,I have full guardianship of the 14 year old girl I took in.Judge was impressed  with everything.It was good for us and my family told her welcome to the family.I had to testify in court on Tueday,the man that sexually assaulted me was charged with one count of sexual assault and a hate crime last week.I was brave testifying.He faces 35 years,his attorney tried plea deal again and the prosecutor said no.I am glad the prosecutor is being good to me.He is facing 35 years now due to a couple more on his long arrest record,Rape and domestic violence conviction he did to an ex wife of his.
    • Willow
      @mmindy. You sure do have a nice shop.  I had a Delta 14” bandsaw, table saw, jig saw, wood lathe, drill press all Delta cast iron except the table saw that was Sears. Lots of hand tools power and hand.  Thickness planner.  Woodworking was my hobby.  I made our entire bedroom set out of maple.  I made my daughter a memory chest for our youngest granddaughter after she died of cancer, all cherry plus some hand carving, and many more things over the years.  I get it!  Each has his priorities.     my son now has all those now.   yes my wife gets indoor decorating.  Our coffee maker is Keurig but it’s a combination machine.  Make a cup, make a pot.  It shares counter space with a hot water pot.   Willow
    • Ivy
    • Vidanjali
      Screenshot from the video. The title of the play is not mentioned, if I recall. 
    • Hannah Renee
      Experience - 2008, front row center seats watching Jeff Dunham live. He was presenting some of the stuff for his upcoming Christmas special.
    • Mmindy
      Well, I think your KEURIG* should have equal space in one of the kitchens. As for the Zavarka? I would give it a fair chance to develop a taste for it.   @Willow we live in a ranch style house in a middle class neighborhood. When we built the house, I wanted the largest one story home, that would fit on the smallest lot. We knew it would be our forever home, and didn't want to climb stairs, or mow a hug yard. Suzie has decorating priorities in the house, and I can do anything I want in the 2 car garage. The only gas engines in the space I affectionately call my shop, are a Harley (year round) Spring and Summer the lawn mower, Winter the snow blower. Other than that it's a small metal fabrication/assembly area, a 36" wood lathe, bench top band saw, and full size drill press. I also have a table saw with out feed table, along side that is a combination swing arm chop saw.   I'm set,   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Colleen Henderson
      Having more rings on my trunk than most, I go back to the era of World War II, when much of the vocal music reflected the angst of couples and families separated by war and not knowing what the future held.   Even now, some of the Vera Lynn songs of that time resonate with my emotions.    
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...