New and Tired

[Guest lernforenzics]

My name is Rudy,

Most of my family knows me as this however not everyone respects me as such. I have been Male since I was 5 however, life has not treated me this way. Im not sure how to explaine it although i am sure there might not be a real need to not everyone's experience is the same, so here it goes...Like i said i have felt like a man since i was 5 and all of my memories are this way; from thinking about how i would ask my first girlfriend out, how she would breake up with me to how I would fall in love with the one and propse to my future wife. I even went as far as to dream of the day of my children being born and me running down the halls of the hospital with the stuffed animals falling out of my arms. But what a horror when I realized that I would never be able to have such a perfect life with such ease, little did i know that this was just the tip of the iceburg.

I had a hard life as do alot of people but after i dropped out of high school I decided to get my GED at Job Corp but my entrnce medical exam led to an even bigger nightmare as the doctors not only informed me that my bone structure was not right but that I also had scarring....What the hell where they telling me? my world was crashing again befor my eyes, mind and soul. I called my dad whom I had not spoken to for several years for several reasons and i asked them what they could be talking about. He informed me like he had just taken out the recycling, that he sorta remembers me having testicles the one or two times he changed my diapers 21 years ago at this time. and all this time i was going to hell cause i was transgender???? how screwed up was my family?

I am 35 today and have two beautiful children that I have had on my own, a partner that is straight and has not told anyone we are together, because she is not ready for everyone opinions and frankly i am tired of them myself. We are moving forward together and that is what is important i am trying to get genetic testing done to see if i can find answers to the questions to the scares and comments from my dad all those years ago.

signing off for now Rudy a very passionate person who just wants to be free.

[Guest Krisina]

Hi Rudy, welcome to Laura's. I hope we can help you feel at home here. Grab some milk and cookies

I hope you are able to get some genetic testing to answer some of the unanswered questions in your life too.

Krisina