Discrimination within the LGBT bracket

[Guest Stray Cat Gypsy]

There's a book that I've read recently that reminds me of this subject matter and is quite intriguing. It's called: Rainbow Evolution: Diversity, Gender and Sexuality in Nature and People by Joan Roughgarden.

With that being said, labels aside, I wish people in general could get along and accept each other. Doesn't mean one has to convert to the way one is or lives or even totally agree with it, but just to accept people for who they are no matter gender, sexuality, religion, culture, health/disease, etc. There's so much stigma out there and there's no need for it. Makes life too complicated than what it needs to be. I only hope that it gets better in time. Less discrimination, more understanding. I know I bring up Freddie Mercury a lot but he does has a way with words. One song that comes to mind, especially if you think about what you'd want the last day of earth to be like(at least for me anywho), is The Miracle. The last part of the song quotes:

"That time will come. One day you'll see. When we can all be friends."

[Guest CassieX]

I know I bring up Freddie Mercury a lot but he does has a way with words. One song that comes to mind, especially if you think about what you'd want the last day of earth to be like(at least for me anywho), is The Miracle. The last part of the song quotes:

"That time will come. One day you'll see. When we can all be friends."

Love that guy, Queen was probably my favorite band growing up. I always thought of 'The Show Must go on' as being my pre-transition song:

"Inside my heart is breaking

My make-up may be flaking

But my smile still stays on"

Those lyrics always touched me deeply as they pretty much described the personal hell that many transgender people experience growing up not being able to express their true selves.

Cassie

[Guest Raven Moon]

Love that guy, Queen was probably my favorite band growing up. I always thought of 'The Show Must go on' as being my pre-transition song:

"Inside my heart is breaking

My make-up may be flaking

But my smile still stays on"

I was lucky to see Queen live during the A Night at the Opera tour. One of my all time favorite bands too!

You know the lyrics in the Show Must Go On was about Freddie dying of AIDS.

[Guest CassieX]

Yes, and it was made a more powerful song because of that, full of raw emotion. A true artist gone before his time.

[Guest Stray Cat Gypsy]

The Show Must Go On is near and dear song to my heart too and I also take the words and energy in that song to prevail in life. And CassieX you said it bout Freddie being a true artist before his time.

[Guest Tuxedo]

Here are some experiences I have read online before.

• Gays and lesbians make fun of transsexuals for being in denial that they are actually just a homosexual pretending to be straight.
• Most gays, who are biologically male, do not accept gay transmen because of their genitalia.
• Lesbians still refer to themselves as lesbians even when in a relationship with a FTM totally disregarding their partners gender identity.
• They just don't think gender dysphoria is real.

[Guest Plaid Chameleon]

I had a friend once who was gay and he called me out real bad when I told him about being trans. He was the only person I ever said anything too and it was funny because he did to me exactly what your parents do to you when you come out. "Oh that's rediculous, you're just confused." That the end of our association. I don't think people realize there is a vast difference between gay/lesbian and trans. It's an entirly different animal or so to speak. Gender and sex are not one in the same. Education is key, but unfortunately ignorance still prevails. For people in the GLB community to discriminate against trans folks to me is hypocritical and sickening, a nice testimant to human nature.

[Guest Raven Moon]

Something occurred to be recently after some interactions on a FaceBook trans support group. I posted something that some members found challenging to the status quo, and while many people liked my post, none of them would speak up. And 2 or 3 people attacked me, even though previous posts by them in the same comment thread supported what I just said. This made me realize there was a problem with the transcommunity, (community as a thing, and not the members themselves) and this also links to the LGB community.

My thoughts as of late are that I would prefer to not be clumped in with the LGB community at all. It has nothing to do with us, and I think it's detrimental. That community is about sexual preference. We are not, although we might be straight or gay. Many straight people will always have hangups about same sex couples. On the other hand I find people don't always seem so freaked out about trans people, unless they think they are gay men dressed as women (or vice versa, but mostly transfemales). It's always about the sex part. And many times they wouldn't even know someone was trans, unless you tell them.

I can take this a step further, wanting in part, to disassociate myself from the "trans community" as well. I have little interest in being part of the "trans umbrella." I'm talking about the community, but not the people. I love the people.

Why? There's too much of what's called "Groupthink" going on.

This is the definition of Groupthink:

Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people, in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an incorrect or deviant decision-making outcome. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative ideas or viewpoints, and by isolating themselves from outside influences.

Loyalty to the group requires individuals to avoid raising controversial issues or alternative solutions, and there is loss of individual creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking. The dysfunctional group dynamics of the "ingroup" produces an "illusion of invulnerability" (an inflated certainty that the right decision has been made). Thus the "ingroup" significantly overrates their own abilities in decision-making, and significantly underrates the abilities of their opponents (the "outgroup").

Generalizing; some members of the community want to fit in, so they start using the same language they see others use—even if they don't know why they are saying certain words of phrases, many of which are derived from gay and drag culture (coming out, clocked, etc.)—and adopting the same ideas they see others express, even if they don't totally agree. No one thinks for themselves openly, or they are attacked as being "transphobic" even if they are trans, or another good one, an "HRC Gatekeeper." I was called both recently on the reddit trans forum! So they think they should feel this way, because everyone else says they have to and no one wants to rock the boat. Now no one is thinking for themselves, and if you challenge the status quo, they always give the response that "the community" thinks this way, or they use the pronoun "we." They are speaking for everyone, and guess what? That "we" doesn't always include me!

The other problem as I see it with the LGBT community is that any person who feels that they don't exactly fit in, gets their own letter added. So after a while you have LGBTQQABCDEFGXXX ... Once again, this is detrimental because it's fracturing us into subsets, and frankly, many of these people are not trans at all. But we are not allowed to say that. Drag queens are not trans, IMO. Transsexualism is a recognized physiological condition. And look how long it took us to get here. 2010 to be exact. Liking to dress up as a woman is not. That's phycological. There's nothing wrong with it at all, but they are not the same as someone with gender dysphoria. It's more a fetish behavior. "Genderqueer"? Honestly now. The word doest even mean anything. Let's just make up some new words to make ourselves feel special. EVERY human is a little male and female to varying degrees. Tom boys and "sissies" have been around forever. And notice how being a tom boy is OK, but men should never be like women! But feeling not quite male or female doesn't necessarily make them trans, or some other silly new category.

I can claim I'm a unicorn, because that's how I feel. Don't you love my horn that I taped to my head? Now you MUST call me a unicorn, or you are offending me. Now all these people are under the "transgender umbrella." I feel it often shows us in a bad light. I read recently that the "trans community" objected to a cisfemale actor playing a transfemale because she was too pretty! See where this is going? The lowest common denominator will try and pull everyone down to make themselves feel better. The media will focus all its attention on the gay drag queen, or the man-in-a-dress that looks like a freak show. Because everyone loves a train wreck. It's sensationalized and it makes them money. But is that how we want people to see us? The groupthink people say you MUST include everyone, with no questions asked (which is a symptom of groupthink; lack of critical evaluation). So now we are being told what to do as to not offend anybody. But there will always be someone who gets offended. That's human nature, and you can't cater to everyone.

And as was stated in the first post here, the LBG people don't really want much to do with us for the most part*, and sadly, I find the same hostility in many "trans*" (note the asterisk, part of groupthink language. It's a placeholder for another word) "support" groups. You either think and do like everyone else or you are kicked out.

I have been meeting many transwomen, and men, who agree with this, but never get to speak about it openly on public forums. They get banned from FaceBook groups and web forums. So the very groupthink that is all about inclusion, is excluding those that disagree.

OK, that's my rant.

(*Until recently a person I considered my closest friend is a lesbian. We shared every feeling and thought. We even play in a band together. Until the day I told her I was a transsexual and was going to start my transition. Since then we hardly ever talk. The band never plays anymore. She clearly had a problem with it, and then tried to be accepting, asking me what my girl name is, but then that just faded away. Meanwhile my straight friends have been very supportive. Why is this? I have no idea. But we are not the same as they are, that's for sure)

[Guest Sarah Faith]

I completely agree with you Raven, I've loudly voiced opinions about this very thing within the trans community before my self. I've been called a lot of things and transphobic is one of them, It used to really bother me that the community felt this way about me when I was just focused on furthering the awareness and needs specifically of transsexual kids and teens. Eventually you get to where you are, where you just stop caring what other people think about you.

Diverse opinions are often only okay when those opinions mesh with the accepted majority opinion. Groups are rarely as diverse in their thinking then they claim they are.

[Guest Raven Moon]

Thanks Sarah! I had to take a deep breath when I posted that, but then again, I already know how this forum is, as far as being more open minded.

[Guest]

Thank you for the enlightening post, Raven Moon.

Huggs,

Joann