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Another trans-woman was murdered last night in DC
By
Guest Addi,
in Victims of Hate Crimes and Violence
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Who's Online 8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 44 Guests (See full list)
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By Heather Shay · Posted
This is fascinating. Thank you so much. I was aware of two spirits and was under the impression that two spirits were respected and considered a privilege to be both with that extinguished. I am happy to become better acquainted. -
By kat2 · Posted
Gosh, thats horrible news to hear for the beginning of a new year, my thoughts and preyers are with you, god bless. Try and i know its hard to stay positive and get on with doing the things that you love to do. I am sure everyone on the forum will be sending positive thoughts towards your healing and that you continue to enjoy the up and coming new year, bless you. xxx kat -
By kat2 · Posted
My first thoughts on reading your post were, is your therapist a transgender specialist?. If you are asking for an opinion, then perhaps more therapy with someone that is qualified? before you commit to doing anything else -
By Birdie · Posted
Tumor found in my liver in ultrasound. The specialist has ordered MRI and biopsy ASAP. Even though the specialist has ordered MRI and other tests ASAP, the doctor at the centre sees no reason for any rush. If the tumor is benign, then it should be removed to prevent it from turning cancerous in the future. But again there is no rush. If the tumor is malignant, the very low life expectancy and curability of liver cancer outweighs the cost of treatment. The centre's belief is that any form of liver cancer should be treated with "Comfort Care only." The centre's doctor says we can only hope that the tumor is benign, we can go in in a couple months and remove it and that would be the end of treatment. He sees no wisdom whatsoever in the "urgency" of the specialist for the MRI and biopsy. Although those orders will be processed and approved, it will be all within due time. -
By Nats · Posted
@AllieJ That's a really thoughtful response and actually, I agree with all of it. Your specific points: Yes. Poor quality papers are more easily available, which is helpful to anti trans extremists, but makes it more important that those of us with the will and determination do access good quality, well reviewed papers. That's our power. Quite. In any campaign, there are those who are absolutely against you. Don't waste your time with them because changing minds is unlikely and far too time consuming. It doesn't secure outcomes. Then, there are those who are with you. You support them, make sure they have the information they need, and try to harness their power, but since they are already with you they aren't your main focus. Finally, there are the vast majority in the middle ground, who either don't care, don't understand or haven't registered any of it. Strategically, in terms of securing an outcome, those are the people who you should focus on. They're the people who can deliver change, if you can generate enough interest. Quite. I agree totally. That's a different topic, though, to me. See below. OK in some democracies (less so the US) it's the civil servants which provide consistency, and our experience has been a little different, here. I've found it highly effective to get them on side but yes, you do have to box them in, show them how there is overwhelming evidence to support your cause, then they'll give advice accordingly. My experience is not in the field of trans campaigning, admittedly (it's in a different area) ... but whatever, I'd argue you have to do both. I think we actually pretty much agree, overall. When campaigning on anything, you have to talk to people in a language they understand, and that means ‘translating’ academic work into every day conversational English. Sometimes, it means wearing your academic knowledge lightly, so that you don’t alienate those you’re trying to influence, but that’s about presentation. The core of what you say needs to be based on solid ground, and for us, given the nature of the subject, that often means academic work. But yes, of course, you need to be equally smart about how you use that at the interface with Government, civil servants, political parties or even allies. (I’m not academic, btw – a Century or so ago I scraped a so-so 2/2 from a nice-but-not-Russell-Group university, which I somehow sneaked in to. I regarded fellow students who sailed through Double Firsts and got on the Dean’s List as beings from another planet.) Campaigning is multi-pronged. But the most effective campaigning takes place quietly before entrenched public positions are taken. Politicians in senior positions rely on briefings from senior civil servants, whose job in democracies like ours is to understand the direction of policy and provide informed advice as to how that should be achieved. In the US, of course, senior civil servants may change with the Administration, and are more politicised, which makes things more challenging, but doesn’t change the principle. In countries with a Permanent Civil Service, which serves whichever party is in power, you at least have a personal continuity (though they’re quite matter-of-fact about simply changing their position with a change of Government; you seldom know their private own view). Those people (often very smart) are able to understand academic papers, or at least have someone explain them – in my experience, they devour them. That’s been demonstrated to me on more than one occasion in eye-opening moments, in a different subject field, where apparently dull civil servants asked penetrating questions from a deeply informed base. Getting to a politician before they have made a public statement on anything is s-o-o-o important. Once they’ve announced an unhelpful position, you have to get them to row back, in public, and that’s usually impossible. Quiet briefing at an early stage helps; they don’t necessarily have to grasp the details of academic work themselves to get the key messages. Many of us will have been in a position where we lead a group of some sort, in the corporate or military worlds, politics, campaigning, or voluntary work. We soon learn can’t be experts in everything (engineering, HR, the law, logistics, R&D, whatever) and we have to take advice from team members who have expertise in narrow-band areas; we actually become experts in knowing whether we’re being a fed a line, or whether someone is likely to be right. We develop trust in certain people who (we learn over time) really know their business. That’s because they have read all the relevant academic work, have real life experience, and have been there and done it. It’s hard to fake. It comes through in their spoken language, body language, tone, confidence, and in particular in their light command of facts and precedence. Military officers can often see it easily in senior NCOs who give them advice. We’re all motivated to do campaigning by different things. Me too. I get annoyed by irrational people presenting bigoted views assertively from an uninformed base. I can be quite reactive to that. But in my quieter more thoughtful moments I know that’s just shouting into the void and a waste of my time and energy. It would be much better to focus ruthlessly on outcomes. And whilst it would be nice to think you could achieve all your outcomes in one go, I know, in reality, that the outcomes I would want for the trans community won’t be achieved in my remining years of life. But some of them will be and if I can support that, I’ll be happy. And the contribution I’ll try to make to that is raising the level of debate, from the emotional to the factual. I won’t abandon the emotional side – I’m an emotional person, and I am seized by moral outrage, but I know that whilst expressing that will periodically help me feel better (and it does), it won’t deliver the fundamental change I’d like to see (fairness, tolerance and equality for trans people). In the end, whatever populist right-wing anti-trans zealots say or do, it is science and a growing body of genuine knowledge that will stand the test of time. -
By kat2 · Posted
Meanwhile, back at the cat cafeee, Mia cannot cope with her customers err....next? what do u want bog brush? who me??? i am a customer,,yeah yeah do u want mc nuts with your fries? -
By Heather Shay · Posted
I hope someone on the forum can help. I live up North but visited and liked Richmond. -
By April Marie · Posted
Welcome to TGP! Each of us are unique but still often have much in common. I can't answer your question regarding facial hair since, for me, the desire is to totally eliminate it but there may well be others who can. Feel free to wander about the forums, ask questions and jump into conversations where you feel comfortable. You are safe and accepted here. -
By SilasG · Posted
Hey my little Rain-bow 🌈🌈🌈 I’ll be sure to be around today Tuesday January 14 I have old like to hear about what has been going on and how it made you feel. I’m here for you sweetie. We’ll talk soon Your Nonbinary Buddy Silo -
By SilasG · Posted
My Little Rain-bow 🌈🌈 I’m sorry that this didn’t turn out well. I’m sorry I wasn’t available earlier to support you I’ve been in quite some pain lately. I’m happy you were able to look at a positive and realize they weren’t that nice anyway. It still hurt I’m sure please know that it will get better and that the right people who love you and support you for who you are will enter your life and never judge you or leave you feeling unaccepted. I’m sorry again I could be there for you earlier. Your Nonbinary Buddy Silo -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
That sux. But I think you're better off without those people. Being alone is hard, but being with bad "friends" is even harder. Especially if they were unkind in the first place, best to just leave them alone. One thing I've learned is that when going through hard times, it is then that you find out who your TRUE friends are. The rest of the folks around you just end up being people you happen to know, rather than real friends. And it is better to know this early, rather than later. My husband is fond of this quote from George Washington, and I think it is useful: "Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence—true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo & withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Seems like you need a password. And possibly an alternate, hidden computer account. Also consider downloading a privacy-oriented browser like Incognito or Brave, and setting it to delete all web history on exit. Could help prevent future awkward discussions. Cats definitely do this. Even when they reliably answer to their name...one day they'll decide to calmly sit on a chair underneath the kitchen tablecloth, completely silent while you look for them. Its their way of messing with our heads, I think. But I'm thankful for them. We've got one really old calico that is permanently attached to one of my partners. My partner has seizures, and the cat is able to detect them and provide up to 2 minutes warning. She often rides on my partner's shoulder when we go places. One of her kittens (full grown now) also seems to have the seizure detection ability. My partner has been seizure-free for a long time now, and the cat may even be an important part of her regaining her drivers license. -
By Lilis · Posted
It seems like you might have some feelings about this, what's on your mind? -
By VickySGV · Posted
Welcome to the Forums, you are not the only one with the situation you describe. Gender is a matter of your size fitting ONLY YOU and really no one else. For partnered NB people there is a special need to communicate and "Read" each other that can make things a problem as far as any social interaction. It takes time, patience and big doses of forgiveness from time to time. You are here, so enjoy you ability to talk about "clumsy" times. -
By snailbella · Posted
hello everyone, im new to the forum. im MtF (on an important note, im nonbinary fem aligned, they/her pronouns), only having around 4 years transitioning, 3 of which are on HRT. as of lately i’ve been feeling more accustomed to my own body, identity and expression of it, but lately i’ve been having some real clashing ideas that are maybe deemed “weird” (apologies, i do not know how to describe my ideas). some time ago i thought recurrently of my partner refering to me with male denominators, not really male pronouns, but calling me husband instead of wife or partner, i must say i liked that thought a bit, the same as me imagining my partner call me father to our future kids. however, i would not like for male denominators to be used constantly, i’ve came to the conclusion its more of a “i dont mind if my partner uses male denominators from time to time” kind of thing, because i really dont feel comfortable being called by masculine pronouns by strangers or people i dont have a lot of connection with. another thought i’ve persistently had is about hair. facial hair to be more precise. for a while now i’ve been fantasizing myself having a goatee type of beard/facial hair. when i think about this i dont really feel uncomfortable, weird or something of the sort. in fact, i quite like imagining myself having that beard. and it clashes a lot with my thought. i keep thinking it would be weird or awkward socially explaining im still a woman even though i have a goatee (i present only as a transgirl with new people) and its really made me think a lot. do any transgirls out there have thoughts/fantasies of having a beard or any type of regularly masculine assigned characteristics/looks? this question isn’t closed only to transfems/transgirls, anyone can answer if they want to. thanks in advance and apologies if i offend someone, as it is not my objective to be a bad person or offend someone from my own community.
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