Having Some Girl Issues...sort Of

[Guest Draik]

I joined a website for teens a little while ago and I put male for my gender. I'm guessing that's a bad thing because now I have 6 girls talking to me and they think I'm a boy. It wasn't that bad to begin with but then I learned that 4 of the girls live here in Las Vegas. Now I'm freaking out because what if one of them wants to meet up? There's one girl who I've sent like 3 messages and she already wants to know if she could be someone I would go out with. I just don't know what to do. Do I tell them I'm trans now? Do I wait? If they want to go out should I tell them before I do and let them decide? Should I not tell them and see how well I pass?

I've never worried about passing before but now I'm going crazy about it because I don't have top surgery, hormones, I keep wondering if I sound girly, on the bright side my mom called a therapist and they're supposed to call back Monday with a date but still I'm not even close to get surgery or anything. It's like I think that the only way a girl would even consider going out with me is if I have all that stuff.

I'm not sure if people usually take trans well or not because i've talked to people who's friends and family are accepting but then there are the ones who take it horribly. I'm not even sure how I would break it because the only person I've come out to are my mom and sister. Everyone else either guessed or my mom told them. It also said on her profile that's religion is important and I'm sure that whatever I seem like to her it will go against her religion.

[Guest CharliTo]

I would think....that it's best to be out before you meet them...if they do have a bad reaction, it's better online than offline.

I hope they're not messed up and tell others though.

[Guest J-Walker]

I'm on a few sites like that too for the sole purpose of flirting with other gay men.

Just tell them you're not looking to meet anyone, just have fun. That way you don't feel the pressure of having to meet anyone and you don't have to write a big I'M TRANS thing in your profile. If you are interested in meeting people in real life, however, it would be a good idea to write it in your profile so you're not "tricking" anyone.

[Guest Evan_J]

See, my worry would be the same thing Charlie said, one person making it their life mission to out you to the universe.

I agree with J, if your intent was to "have fun" stay online and don't let anyone pressure you, if however you decide "yes" you're takin it to rt then you're gonna have to come out to her before hand. Bear in mind, the odds if you choose this with the girl who says "religion is important" to her.

Generally speaking , if you decide to go there with a girl (and I'm takin this from 2guys who date straight girls exclusively in rl ) a good route seems to be "hang on, theres something you should know before we go farther, I am a guy, but not the way you think...." then explain what the heck GID is.

[Guest Seth]

Bring up the subject of GLBT individuals and see how they react.

If you pass, you don't need to come out right away.

If it gets serious, and she loves you unconditionally, then (if you feel comfortable) come out to her.

[Guest Draik]

I just told her and she is still going to talk to me. Shocker.