Wow. There I am.

[Guest Amberley_Vail]

For this last little while Ive been questioning what I am.

Ive been keeping all my body hair in check, filing and painting my nails, and keeping my hair as nice as possible with a view to growing it out. Most of these things I can get away with as a guy since Im a bit of a metalhead, [WHY did I get rid of my beautiful long hair all those years ago!] and the shaved legs I can explain away since Ive taken up swimming.

I also wear girls jeans to work and out now [seriously, how much more comfortable are they than guys!] and a pair of DCs that are apparently from the womens line, but they look awesome and they fit me so nyahh! X P

So anyway, these things make me feel happy, so I keep doing them. But I dont know why I do. I suppose right now I identify most as androgynous. I hate being a guy but I dont know if Im a girl.

That was till I got home from work today. There was a package sitting on the stairs for me from Teefury. I had completely forgotten about that. It tends to take a couple of weeks for teefury to get their stuff to us over the pond, so its excusable!

I got a fantastic Venture Brothers tee [http://shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/The-Venture-Bunch.jpg if you're interested =P] in guys XL. And one in girls XL. I forgot about that too.

I was going to pack it away with the rest of Amberley's clothes since Im moving house pretty soon. [My first flat! Woo!] So I got out the case that all her things are in.... and I thought..... why not.

I put on my padded bra [well Ive got nothing else to show!] Tshirt, tights and denim shorts on, and had a look in the full length mirror.

....

Amberley's definitely still there! =D That is the closest I have ever seen myself to how I want to be seen yet! I think I even have a reasonable chance at passing!

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hi - very well written post - I was just swept away by how you were describing how you feel! So great isn't it - when to start seeing the real you in the mirror. It gets better and better!

Lizzy

[Guest Krisina]

Questioning who you are and dressing up to see who you like to see staring back in the mirror.

Have you ever thought about seeing a specialized therapist for answers to your questions? Gender therapists are specially trained to deal with questions just like that. Just a thought in case you're ever interested.

Krisina

[Guest Amberley_Vail]

Seeing a GT is definitely on my list of to-dos, Krisina. Im just waiting till I change GPs; my current one and I dont see eye to eye.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Hi - very well written post - I was just swept away by how you were describing how you feel! So great isn't it - when to start seeing the real you in the mirror. It gets better and better!

Lizzy

Absolute congratulations, honey!

What Lizzy said is the real deal. One fine day, you really DO see her in the mirror. This actually happened for me too in the last few days, and my heart sang for joy. Know the feeling. Congrats!

Peace Lacey