Anorexia?

[Guest Devyn]

To start of, I am about 95% sure that I have anorexia. I make myself not eat, I'm 85 lbs and I'm 5'1".

I didn't mean for a lot of people to find out, but I complained a lot to two of my friends about food/eating (they kind of put it together), and then I got mad at one of my friends and said that I'm fat, which made her ask later if I ate anything that day.

I said I didn't eat anything, so she emailed our school's psychologist and today, the psychologist called me down to her office and I had to talk about it even though I didn't want to. At all. I didn't mean for people to find out. I didn't want to talk about it.

Literally, ALL she told me was that I can't get hormones or surgery if I have another mental disorder or something (which I already knew, AND THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT) and that I should eat more (I'm pretty sure that everyone can see what is wrong with that second part).

I eat one small thing and then, when my mom makes dinner, I distract myself with my phone or I talk to my parents so they won't notice I'm not eating or I pretend to eat, hide my food in my napkin, put it in my pocket, and then throw it away when no one is around.

I get really angry at myself when I eat. Yesterday, I ate when I got home from school and then I cried because I was so frustrated by it.

The psychologist told me to come back to see her in a week and tell me how things are going.

I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to get fat in all of the wrong places and look more like a girl. I want to get rid of periods and boobs.

It started out as a dysphoria thing before, but I honestly believe I'm fat now. I am fat.

I know I need help, but I don't really want it. I don't want to get sent to a hospital either.

[Guest Jenth]

You don't want to get fat. I understand that. As much as I want all the stuff you don't I even understand why you don't want it. Though you know what the problem with not eating is? Less energy, lower grades, greater mood swings, and shorter life expectancy. Obviously your eating enough to stay alive, but are you eating enough to avoid the other side affects? You know what the food pyramid is? Or about programs like weight watchers? Breaking from this isn't easy so you'll have to do more than tell yourself your gonna start eating again. You'll have too tell yourself what to start eating again. Talk to your parents about it. I know you don't want to, but you'll have to suck that up, because if you think about it you probably have bigger goals that this is standing in the way of, besides cats out of the bag already. I'd suggest going with something like weight watchers, it'll tell you foods that can help you stay a healthy weight while not putting anything on. Gross tasting stuff you can trick yourself into tasting good like broccoli and grapes. Then set yourself up to eating three meals a day, no more NO LESS. After some time passes you'll realize that you feel a little better (sorry it won't help the dysphoria) and you'll be able to put this behind you while you focus on more important things like getting in to see a GT and getting that surgery that will get rid of those pesky boobs.

Good Luck,

Heathy

[Guest Holly S]

Hey, I know that it can be tough to stop not eating, but you REALLY need to start eating again. The problem with anorexia is that however thin you get, you still think you're fat. The thing to remeber is to not rust your own judgement of whether you are fat or thin. Trust the scales - aim for 100lbs within a good time frame, but exercise as well. That way you can build muscles, eat, and stay thin. An apple a day is not enough to keep the doctor away. It is going to be tough on your strength of will, but you need to eat. If you want to talk about this privately, or want a shoulder to cry on, PM me, and I'll support you as best as I can.

Hugs,

Holly

[VickySGV]

You are locking yourself in a nasty box there fella, because even a guy's body needs certain minimum well chosen nutrients to be worth anything. You won't get the male muscle to do you any good if your bones snap like a chicken's or malform. So much for a masculine chin if your teeth have all fallen out. Too many negatives to what you do want to go to starvation city. Too many chances for permanent damage.

Go to the counselor, open up and you have a better chance of letting your self out of that box that has to great a chance of slamming shut on you, and putting your dreams on permanent hold!!!