I Finally Did It

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Here I am...sitting all wrapped up in the calm before the storm. There might not actually be a storm, but at least now I will know for sure. I ended up sending an email to both parents at the same time, the same email. My parents are divorced and always do this "you told him first" or "you told her stuff you never told me" junk. Since they both got the same email at the same time, no one can say that stuff. Now, about who checks their email first...that's not my problem.

It's done.

I feel better but anxious about how they'll take things. It's out of my hands now. Sending that email was like surrendering control. That's what it felt like. Up until now, I had control by withholding the information. They can't reject me for what they don't know.

We'll see what happens. Now I'm going to go and have a snack and watch the most recent episode of Dexter.

Ainsley

[Guest Huff]

It's done.

way to go. that's brave stuff.

MK

[Guest JayJaye]

Here's hoping it goes well for ya! Fingers crossed. You can always email or IM me if you need to vent. I'm getting the 'go pray about it' deal from my mom right now. I suppose it could be a lot worse.

Jay

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Thanks guys. It seems like it went pretty well so far. I asked that no one call me, only email. So far both parents have honored that, which is more than I expected from my mom. I was fully braced for a full on freak out where she drives down here to save me. Nope, she emailed my ex-fiance or whatever our status is now, that's all. No call no text. The "don't call me until this weekend" stuff was really to keep people from saying things that they don't mean. It's harder to be impulsive when you have to type things out.

Today I mailed both parents a copy of "True Selves" by Mildred Brown and Chloe Rounsley. Hopefully they both will read it and try to understand and be supportive.

Jay, I can totally feel that a "pray about it" is coming from my mom too. I want to be like "I prayed about it FOR YEARS and God didn't fix it. Why would it be different now?".

[Guest jantonio]

Congrats dude! I wish you all the best, I know it took courage to write this email to them. You did well. Woohoo!

Jose Antonio...

[Guest JayJaye]

Today I mailed both parents a copy of "True Selves" by Mildred Brown and Chloe Rounsley. Hopefully they both will read it and try to understand and be supportive.

I hope your mom actually reads stuff you give her. Mine doesn't. But then, she never did. <insert eye roll here>

Jay

[Guest J-Walker]

Congratulations. That's a big accomplishment.

I gave my mom "True Selves" when I came out to her too. She didn't read it though. But she was understanding enough, so that's the important part. XP

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I hope your mom actually reads stuff you give her. Mine doesn't. But then, she never did. <insert eye roll here>

Jay

I'm hoping my mom reads it. She's an LPC, so she should probably know about this stuff. My dad reads everything, so I'm not worried about him.

My mom's already sent my ex-fiancee a "sorry about my kid" email (he forwarded it to me). That's what it read like anyway. She hinted that I hadn't yet discovered my "read issues". What? This is THE real issue. There is nothing underneath this...this was what was underneath everything else. Geez... I guess DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince said it best "parents just don't understand". That was corny. Sorry.

[Guest Seth]

Way to go, brah!

Hope all goes well.

[Guest JayJaye]

Bottom line, though, is that we're adult men and can do what we need to do no matter what the parents think. Yes it would be nice if they embraced us and our journey and supported us; the reality is that anything positive is better than being disowned. Though as an adult (for me anyway) has less impact than if I were a lot younger.

You're doing what is right for you, for your sanity, for your life. Really, truly, would our parents want us to stay depressed and suicidal for the rest of our lives? Well, maybe some would, if they like to feed on the drama.

I don't do drama. My mother likes melodrama. Gee, wonder why we butt heads!

Jay

[Guest Drew]

Wow! Stranded, congrats! that must be quite a weight off your shoulders.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Ainsley[sOT],

Now you have to embrace the true meaning of 'acceptance' that is, to 'accept' the outcome of your actions... But I'm sure you have prepared yourself mentally...

I bet you're finding it's a great feeling of relief finally to be free of this mental burden[f you are not quite feeling it now you soon will do] ...

Good on you Ainsley regardless of the outcome you are being 'true' to yourself...

Happy Mindfulness

Metta Jendar

[Guest raydub]

Dude.. you know im proud!

I can feel the burden lifting off you. Its all up and down from here, man. But we're here for you k?

Raymond

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I really do feel like a burden has been lifted! Strangely enough, I also feel closer to my parents than I have in a long time. Now I feel like the door is open for me to have a "real" relationship with them. That's a pretty good feeling. There will be some bumps on the road, but at least we're going to start being honest with each other.

Ray, now let's see how the siblings react. My middle sister's probably going to be "interesting", to say the least.

[Guest Jackson]

Congratulations, Ainsley.

This is a chance to have new relationships with your parents and have them see you as an adult. A new beginning.