Issues Faced by Transsexuals In Dealing With Mormon Family Members

[Guest Haileyruso]

I have never seen such an inpenatrable wall as the one that my family has put up to keep from even understanding where I am coming from as a transsexual. They absolutely will not even allow me to explain my feelings without labeling me as selfish, a sinner, on the road to hell, etc., anything that they can think of so they don't have to even try to understand my feelings and experiences. So, I sent them all a talk by Dallin Oaks about judging, thinking that it might help...well it actually has disturbed them. I am seriously considering breaking ties for the time being with much of my family because all I get is criticizism and negativity, which is really not what I need at this time in my life. People in the LDS church act this way towards me and then wonder why I don't want anything to do with the church. Have they considered that my life is difficult enough as it is without associating with people who constantly take the opportunity to belittle me and poke fun at me...all in the name of love I assume.

[Guest (Lightsider)]

Well, to be blunt how they are acting towards you is not loving. From all the descriptions of Jesus Christ can you imagine him acting that way towards you? A lot of the reason they are acting this way is because of several reasons:

1. Fear. They fear losing you so they selfishly box you in and uses scare tactics to do it.

2. Culture. Culture is a huge deal here. The church members are taught that any thing that is counter to a man and a woman getting sealed in the temple is not acceptable. It has only been recently after a lot of spousal abuse that the leadership has cooled it's jet a little and is now saying that not every one will get married in this life time and find the right mate. Some people were just getting married because, well that is what was what ingrained in them to do from a very young age.

You may have to come to a point where being you is more important than being a person to appease their happiness. Their negativity is only going to increase your un-happiness and disrupt your mental balance. Remember this, you can not please every one, but you can please yourself.

I have said it before and I will say it again, I would think a loving God in heaven as the church professes him to be would prefer that you be at peace and not fighting a life long battle with in yourself over your identity. It takes a lot of energy to try and fight who you really are. A person will get closer to their God when the mind is at rest.

And ask yourself this, are these people scientists who know what can happen to a baby before it is born? I doubt they are.

Any way, the most in important thing is for you to be whole.