You dont like your hair long...

[Guest MiraJ]

ok. its only been about 2 weeks since i told my wife and shes still trying to figure out where all of that came from but. we talking about shopping and how i like it and shes like you never showed iterrest when i bought my clothes. you dont stick around when i do. yea cuz i hid it. and the other thing she said was when we were talking about hair styles and what i would like￸l she was like you dont even like your hair long. she comes with another gut choker said reason number 526 you not a woman. that kinda hurts and just because i was surpressing it didnt mean i dont like it. i do have to see her view though afterall i told her that i feel more comfy being a woman. i just wanted to see what you all think? thanks Mira

[Guest BeccaC]

I love shopping, I loathe shopping for guy stuff.... There is a difference... When we would go out shopping for some clothes for myself, which was rare, I would just grab something baggy and go. I would just wear whatever I had till it fell off. I had no desire to look my manly best. Even as far as my hair goes, I LOVE having long hair.. Unfortunately for me when I noticed my hairline receding ( I hate you testosterone!!! I'll get you one day!!) I hated it how it reminded me of being a guy.. So I shaved it for years, just so I wouldn't have to look in the mirror.. I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I looked in the mirror..

Now looking for satiny or silky items, or gorgeous shoes I'm there... It has just pained me though since it wasn't for me I had to show a certain level of disinterest.. I've probably spent 24 combined hours alone on women's apparel websites in the past 2 weeks alone.. And now I wonder why my boat projects have stacked up...grrr LOL

Hugs

Becca

[VickySGV]

I was fully up on the the feeling of NOT wanting to shop with women, because I wanted to buy the whole store in my size. My problem was that I was single parent to two daughters and had to go shopping with them while they were teenagers. One of them who is 36 has told me that she wishes I had been out back when she was a teenager, maybe she would have had a better wardrobe then.

As far as hair, now that mine is E fertilized, it is softer in texture and not sticking out all over the place. The bad news is that it is also finer thickness and pretty limp without a whole lot of work.

[Guest Kelly-087]

ok. its only been about 2 weeks since i told my wife and shes still trying to figure out where all of that came from but. we talking about shopping and how i like it and shes like you never showed iterrest when i bought my clothes. you dont stick around when i do. yea cuz i hid it. and the other thing she said was when we were talking about hair styles and what i would like￸l she was like you dont even like your hair long. she comes with another gut choker said reason number 526 you not a woman. that kinda hurts and just because i was surpressing it didnt mean i dont like it. i do have to see her view though afterall i told her that i feel more comfy being a woman. i just wanted to see what you all think? thanks Mira

Personally? I was never your feminine type of male. Maybe, when I was younger. But I believe life events masked that. However as I've grown into this, so much has changed. And for the best in my opinion. I never enjoyed shopping when I was younger. In my teenage/high school years I wore a high and tight. For half of my time in college I had a beard.. I don't think it means much other than that we invented ways and over compensated to hide how we felt deep down inside. Now instead of dodging shopping with my mother, I'm eager to do it. Although, part of me knows it's going to out me far before I'm ready to be out.

If you're questioning.. or letting other questions get to you then dig a bit deeper. I find this has always been a struggle for answers deep within myself. They don't come easily either..

[Guest Cinnamon Girl]

I started growing my hair long, and now it's the longest it's been in a long while. I used to have it longer than this, but that's when I was living away from home. Anyway, my mother is OBSESSING over it. "You don't like long hair." " Your hair looks crazy when it's long like that." "Why are you growing your hair long anyway?". It's all she talks about when we're in a room together. If it weren't so distressing, it'd be hilarious.

So I guess I see where you're coming from.

Chloe

[Guest Sarahwr]

I should have thought whether you enjoyed shopping or not has absolutely nothing to do with how you feel inside.

I spent 65 years knowing there was something not right with me; a lot more fundemantal that going shopping or having long hair etc.etc.

My shopping habits have changed because I now don't have a stitch of male clobber :-D

Today I was out with my Partner at a men and ladies fashion shop and all I did was to look at the female clothes:-) and ask her for advice as she does of me.

If your wife is anything like my Partner when I told her how I felt you have, unfortunately, plenty of comments to come which will try to undermine your feelings, including the question "do you want to be a woman?"

Initially I answered this with a no!. But I think I did this because it was easy rather than to face conflict at that time. I was trying to come to terms with my feelings at what has proved to be a life changing experience. Now I answer it truthfully and with hindsight.

She will probably try black mail talking about the family and how will they take it?

It has taken about 10 months for my Partner to come to some acceptance. She would still like us to be back to how we were before I dropped the bombshell however due to my commitment she now does not hurt me with her comments about how I look.

Believe me I do not look feminine :-( however my hair has grown nicely although is still quite thin on top. But sooner this than wearing a wig; not that there is anything wrong with a wig especially if you are bald and indeed I do have a wig. However, I want to represent myself as natural as I can.

I hope life improves for you and that you can work your way through your situation with your wife.

Would I go through it again, of course I would. There has been a lot of anger and hurt between us which we have come to terms with.

Think everything through very carefully you want your wife to come along on your journey. But don't be surprised if she doesn't want to; then you will both have a decision to make.

There will be comments about your selfishness. She will try to make you feel guilty. She will try to undermine you with comments on how you look.

Remember we are only talking about your wife. Then there is both your families, they will have to be told, especially if they begin to see physical changes i.e. letting your hair grow especially if you have always had it very short.

I expect this reply sound all doom and gloom:-( with plenty of hearache to come.

However, today has been one of the most enjoyable I can remember even allowing for a cashier who would insist on calling me "Sir":-( .There will always be people who will make you feel whether it is all worth it. From my point of view it certainly is :-D

Your needs are just as important as your wifes and hopefully she will understand that.

I wish you good luck in moving yourself forwards.

Best wishes,

SarahW

[Guest Clair Dufour]

I always love the hair issue. Long hair is a cultural thing and has little to do with gender or sex. Many cultures men wear their hair long. In some (africa) its the women who wear the short hair. There are many examples, but, my favorite are the Native Americans.

In almost all tribes men wore their hair (and many still do) long. Husbands and wives would comb each others hair out on a regular basis and as some reported it, used it as a form of foreplay. Make you wonder what the play was like.

[Guest Donna Jean]

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liking to shop or have long hair or liking guns or flowers or cooking or fixing Harleys.....these things does not make one male or female.....

It's how one feels inside....

(FYI....I enjoy ALL the things above!)

Dee Jay

[Guest MiraJ]

Yea, you all are right. Its how i feel on the inside and how much i was hiding it all these years.

Thank you all

Mira

[Guest Stormrider2112]

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liking to shop or have long hair or liking guns or flowers or cooking or fixing Harleys.....these things does not make one male or female.....

It's how one feels inside....

(FYI....I enjoy ALL the things above!)

Dee Jay

I like classic muscle cars and heavy metal...and I like purple and want to wear skirts

[Guest MiraJ]

Thank you storm :-)

[Guest Gabriel_soulshadow]

I really don't have the option to grow my hair until I ETS out of the army ng I've had enough of this army blah.