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Guest LizMarie

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Reading his autobiography. Quite good.

 

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On the mend from Gender Affirming Surgery, it's time to kick back and relax....

 

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On 11/12/2023 at 6:23 AM, Heather Shay said:

On the mend from Gender Affirming Surgery, it's time to kick back and relax....

Get well soon @Heather Shay . . relax into your real self. (Hey, I bought a new guitar!)

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  • Posts

    • BobbiSkunk
      I do like the idea of one quick shock.  Maybe with the rest of my social circle when I feel comfortable.  I am just not a very social person, lol.  Thank you for your input, it is helpful
    • MaryEllen
    • Vidanjali
      I'm sorry you had to endure that trauma, dear. I also do hope you'll find a good and effective therapist to work through this as you're able. It's one thing to endure abuse and injury, and another for it to rule your life to the extent it does. I hope you'll find your way to greater freedom.   To answer your question,   1. Gender and sexuality are two different things. Yes, they affect each other and even therefore intersect in ways. But they are ultimately two separate aspects of a person.   2. Please be aware that any inference to cross-dressing or transgender necessarily being a sexual fetish is false. Indeed, some folks are sexually aroused by cross-dressing. But it is definitely not a prerequisite to being trans or a cross-dresser.   3. Each of us is free to identify our sexuality as we see fit. I just wanted to point out that asexuality as a "sexual" orientation is different from being sex-averse as the result of trauma. Seeing as you experienced the trauma you wrote about before puberty, that is before you became sexually mature, it may be the case your sexuality was as if suppressed by the trauma. I'm suggesting that as far as asexuality as orientation goes, you may or may not be because your sex-aversion seems to have velied that part of you some way or another.   If you're able to find a therapist qualified in treating trauma and transgender knowledge, it's within the realm of possibilities that many suppressed aspects of your personality may come to light.   And to disclose, I am trans and asexual.
    • Mmindy
      Welcome to TransPulseForums @Mwm684   It’s nice to meet you and I hope you.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Madelyn Rain
      Thank you all for your kind replies! ☺️ I should have started I went to therapy on my dysphoria several years. Also, I very briefly mentioned feeling transgender to my dr and that I had been to therapy but wasn’t super talkative about it. That was like a year and a half ago. Since it’s my family physician, I suppose that’s why I feel unsure how to go in. As I have had therapy, plus live in Canada where informed consent will allow me to start hrt, I truly feel it’s my next step
    • Petra Jane
      Once again, we have been asked to bring the following Research Study to your attention which we are happy to do.   Purpose and Scope of Research Study My name is Chloe. I am a Trainee Clinical Psychologist studying on the Clinical Psychology Doctorate at Lancaster University UK. I am reaching out to ask for support regarding a research project I am undertaking to understand how menstrual and gynaecological experiences / difficulties such as Pre-menstrual syndrome, Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, endometriosis, PCOS etc impact transgender and gender diverse people (assigned female at birth & above the age of 18). This study has gained appropriate ethical approval and experts by experience have been consulted in the process. The study seeks to amplify personal stories and accounts of the impact of such difficulties. By completing this published research, I hope to add to the knowledge of health care providers so that the care and support available to transgender and gender diverse people is improved. By taking part in the study participants will also be entered into a draw to win a £50 amazon voucher. The study will require a short interview via microsoft teams - the questions have received ethical approval but will be semi structured to be more conversational and to ensure no pressure to answer any question Institution Supervising Research Study Lancaster University - clinical psychology doctorate programme Web Address for Study Participation https://lancasteruni.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3n6uRj1kojcZuqq
    • KathyLauren
      That is entirely up to you.  How much trouble it is worth is something that only you can judge.   In my reasoning, I figured that one quick shock to everyone was less painful to me (and them) than a lifetime of what-the-heck? moments.  My HRT took only about four months to  make significant changes to my face and body.  Had I waited any longer to come out, people would have been puzzled, and some of the questions and comments would have been unkind.  By standing up at a community meeting, or sending out a mass email, I created peer pressure to normalize my transition ("Everyone else knows, too, so it's no secret.").  They could get their gossiping over with quickly and I could get on with living my life normally as the new me.    I took the same approach with my documentation.  Once I was "out", I applied for my name and gender change at the earliest possible moment, so all my paperwork was consistent with my presentation in as short a time as was bureaucratically possible.   But what works for me isn't necessarily what will work for you.  You are in a different country, though it appears to be a less hostile part of your country than some.  You will have to take into account the political and social atmosphere where you live, as well as your own goals and needs.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My hope Is that this event will finally convince some of our Republican brethren that Trump is not going to save America. The Baby Boomer Generation's idea of being polite and voting for the "lesser of 2 evils" and tolerating globalists has led to all of this. The fix is in, and it is time for a new republic.
    • Ivy
      In Putin's Russia, you don't dare get near a window. There is no reality any more. I suppose that is the point.
    • KathyLauren
      I am sorry you had such a traumatic childhood experience.   There are many of us trans folks who are asexual.  It is not at all uncommon.  Sometimes it is due to traumatic childhood experiences, sometimes for other reasons, sometimes for no discernible reason at all.    As Carolyn Marie said, you get all sexual variations in both trans and cis people.  I strongly second her recommendation to see a therapist.
    • BobbiSkunk
      My whole approach to this has generally been telling a handful of people very close to me, and nobody else.  I feel they don't really need to know?  Is that a wrong assumption?  I was just going to do my HRT and if they see changes in me they can ask.  I don't really like sharing info with people.  Will this approach be more trouble than it is worth?
    • Carolyn Marie
      Yes, you would still be considered transgender if you are asexual.  Sexuality and gender preference are separate issues entirely, so one can be trans - desiring to be or dress as someone of the opposite gender (including cross-dressers), and also be Gay, Lesbian, bi-sexual, asexual or pan sexual.   I am also very sorry that you had to endure such mistreatment as a child.  That must have been a horrifying and traumatic time.  I hope that have been or are now seeing a therapist to help with those experiences.   Carolyn Marie
    • LittleSam
      Looking for a bit of advice or encouragement really. I'm 5 weeks on T and excited about any new body hair. I'm not getting much, but I've noticed more around my pubic area and bumhole lol, sorry if tmi. I've also a got a few more thigh hairs and lower leg hair is growing longer.   I know it's very early days so I wasn't expecting facial hair at all for a few years, but I definitely seem to have more longer blonde peach fuzz hairs. Pre T I had some anyway and I used to use hair removal cream and pluck, because I did get some darker hairs I didn't like. So I don't know if this is my natural hair because I haven't been plucking so much and using hair removal cream. I really want to have facial hair, but also I am worried that I look like a cis woman with some facial hair. I certainly am far from passing at the mo. Basically I'd love to embrace the hair and not shave. I'm already excited by more moustache hair that's growing through, however the hair is only on the sides frustratingly, rather than the middle also. I think shaving could be a euphoric experience, but could make me look more fem. I'm not sure if I should leave peach fuzz or shave. Do teen boys shave or leave their chin hair? I'm 34 and don't want to look like a teen. Want did anyone else decide to do?
    • Carolyn Marie
      Well, those are his besties after all, as he is very fond of saying.  He was/is even "in love" with Kim Jong Un.  They do very much want him to win in November.   Carolyn Marie
    • Perplexed45
      If discussion of past child sexual assault triggers you turn back   In a Previous post I have stated I am an Asexual 45yo M who turned Asexual due to childhood trauma. I feel i need to get this off my chest. Sorry if this triggers anyone.   Okay backstory: at a young age around 13-14, I was interested in dressing up as a girl. I was a skinny effeminate boy with silky black hair and clear complexion. I was lucky in that I had an understanding female school friend(Jane) who liked helping me to dress up at her place, hell even her mother helped after she caught us 3 months in. boy was that embarrassing! anyway fast forward about a year later just before the school holidays and my father comes home Early from work Drunk. This is after I returned from visiting my friend after school, I had taken a shower upon returning but had made the mistake of leaving some of the clothes given to me by Jane's mum out(was going to hand wash and dry them in the back of my closet before father came home.)   Queue ugly scene Gay shaming, physical violence, forcing me to dress back up, using me as a "-awesome person- son should enjoy it if he is dressing up". two days later during holidays, after being grounded and unable to see Jane, Father ships me off to some friends of his --------{i hope i do not have to explain what happened to me during this time}) on the Coast with money being exchanged I think. after that holiday season I forced myself to wear the ugliest boy clothes i could and eat unhealthy in an attempt to gain weight to make myself look unattractive which seemed to trigger puberty as I shoot up and out putting on an athletes build over the next 6 months. with the help of Jane and her mother I was able to get Father arrested and sentenced for 15 years about 2 months after the holidays ended with me ending up in foster care for disturbed children.   After that holidays the very thought of being with someone since has been.... sickening. The idea of very idea of having sex makes me Shudder  still the idea of dressing back up has been too painful 30 years later. It was only after a doctor recently recommended I wear sports tights or stocking to bed (to try and alleviate night terrors which had sprung up recently brought about by personal skin to skin contact as I slept) that the idea of dressing up again crept in. I enjoy dressing up in pantyhose and underthings in the safety of my bedroom on occasion but the idea of being with someone still....   I guess I want to ask is: can you be classed as trans for liking to dress up in lingerie occasionally but also Asexual for not wanting sex?
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