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Am I Being Paranoid?

Guest Zandrogynous

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Guest Zandrogynous

This morning I did not awake to the sounds of chirping birds, or my mildly annoying alarm clock. Instead, I was woken up by the sound of someone walking by my window and yelling something along the lines of, "commit suicide sweetheart, kill yourself, kill yourself, suicide is fun suicide is good." Needless to say I was very disturbed. I've never really experienced any hatred toward me, probably because I spent so long suppressing myself. I've been "out" a few times but not too often. Most of the time I just jump in my car and go. The thing is, I don't even know if that hateful little chant was meant for me or not. Maybe I am just being paranoid. I'm sure it has been directed towards others though. Why is there so much hate in the world? Why would my personality make someone wish my death? Why can't people just "live and let live?" All I know is that I want to move away now more than ever.

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  • Admin

While anything is possible, I wouldn't make any assumptions that it was directed at you. If you're not out in your neighborhood, then how much could anyone know?

Try not to dwell on it, hon. If it keeps happening, then it will be time for action. Until then, its just random stupidity.


Carolyn Marie

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Guest angels wings

We get random Silly people doin silly things in our hood all the time . We have had windows broken graffiti .what I worked out is thy were not targeting us thy were just going about been there silly selves. Try not to worry about it people do Silly things and 99% of the time it is not directed at us . (((hugs)))

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Guest CariadsCarrot

When we have a situation we're afraid of other people reacting badly to our minds tend to put 2 and 2 together and make 5 very easily. We hear what we're expecting to hear often rather than what's truly happening. Without anything to go on other than this one event though I'd be more likely to think it was just some rather disturbed or drunk person raving about their own thoughts or a totally idiot ranting at no one in particular rather than an actual hate slur. I know it's scary when something like this happens but try not to worry about it too much unless something more conclusive happens.


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Guest Guest_SL


Regardless at who it was directed toward, it came from some deeply disturbed individual. In all truth, as long as it didn't come from you, it's hot air.

If it happens again, try to catch a look at who's doing it. Then file a report to the police.

There's hate in the world because too many people have grown up without love in their lives. And it's in the nature of humans as is the gift of beauty of expression.

Blow it off but note if it happens again. Then act.

"All I know is that I want to move away now more than ever." Hmmm? What else has taken place to prompt that statement? No reply needed but think about why you stated that. You can share here if you choose but I get the feeling there's more pressure from other sources. Just something to consider.

Sara Lee

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Guest Lauren~

Most people are good; they don't waist their time harrassing other people. Only people that have psyciatric issues or who are in denial of who they really are, and thats their way of suppressing, are the ones that do things like that. So why even care about those people?

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Melissa~

Just six weeks ago I found a decapitated rabbit on my front porch head laying right next to it under a wood bench seat I have there. I was very disturbed, but I was due at work, I cleared it off, and called the PD from work, they were largely dismissive after looking at the scene. I told them I know of precisely no one in my neighborhood who actually has a problem with me, and figured it was random teen prank at worst.

Still it was a very very queasy time thinking about who would decapitate any animal and leave it on my porch while I was at work.

I eventually got home and investigated some more myself, I confirmed the rabbit was killed under than bench seat, the work of a dog or coyote that got distracted post kill, not a person at all. Doesn't do that poor rabbit any good, but it took a world or concern off my thought process.

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One of my favorite sayings is "things are often not what they appear to be..."

Remembering that has often kept my reaction to something,

from creating a problem where none existed...

I have no idea what happened outside your window, but unless i was sure, I'd just let it go...



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  • Admin

Considering the number of one way conversations I have heard coming from Blue Tooth users who have been kicked out of local bars, or even people in the middle of shopping malls, I make sure that I only react to what I know I heard while fully awake, and do, also try to see the person if I can. Cell phone pollution is a real pain!!

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  • Posts

    • Betty K
      I’m glad to hear you mean no harm and have no beef with genderfluid folks. Thank you for clarifying that. This still seems a strange presumption to me though, when so much of anti-trans propaganda is clearly either (a) concocted in bad faith to justify an argument, or (b) based on ignorant assumptions. Yes it’s possible a few outliers in the trans community are making ridiculous claims about this topic, but even if so I seriously doubt they are the cause of the relevant anti-trans propaganda.    That may well be a fair call, and you’re right that “transphobe” is an over-generalisation. I used it as a shorthand and because, as Sally and MaeBe said, there is always a transphobic minority that spreads the anti-trans views which then unfortunately influence some who are less transphobic. But I still think we can fairly characterise such beliefs as being transphobic, at least partly. As to the absence of hatred in those church documents, you may be right about that, but I would be wary of taking people or institutions at face value when they urge love and compassion. Even the most virulent transphobes sometimes claim to support trans people. Actions speak louder than words.    I do better understand your anguish over lack of belief in trans identities now though. It must be very difficult being trans and involved with certain churches. I know there are some churches that accept and affirm trans folks though; maybe it’s time for a change in denomination?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I looked through the Focus on the Family material and also the Southern Baptist Convention stuff, both highly influential, both rejecting transgenderism.  I found no hatred but an urge to treat people with love and compassion. I found some logical fallacies in both and nothing convinced me to change my position.  SBC assumes someone who is transgender is not saved and so is not allowed to join their congregations.    I have a certain affection for both.  FotF helped us with some material that helped us raise our kids and on most issues they are fellow travelers.  SBC seeks to conscientiously fight the good fight but I would never join a SBC church for reasons that are irrelevant here.  Not that I could now in good conscience.  I look like a guy? SURPRISE!  Left boot of fellowship.   The Nashville Statement is worse.  CBMW.org wrote it and it has been criticized heavily by some trans folk. . https://cbmw.org/nashville-statement#articles  I am saddened at some of who signed the thing. Articles 10 and 13 are of particular interest.  Other things can be found here that trans folk would take exception to. But they do not treat TG as something flippant.    I would not refer to any of these as transphobes.  I am not sure the term is useful in conceptualizing or interacting with those who object to the idea of transgender being something besides sin.  When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail.    
    • Maddee
      Happy to see the rainbows again🌈🌈
    • Ashley0616
    • Vidanjali
      Nice to see you, dear and congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. Very well done!
    • Vidanjali
      It's estimated between 1-2% of the general population is transgender. This is based on a cursory web search of studies and stats. So apply that to all teachers and students in Florida. According to ballotpedia, in 2022 there was a total of about 3 million public school teachers and students combined. That does not include  higher ed institutions and private institutions. So let's tack on another million people which is a pretty conservative estimate. 1-2% of 4 million is 40,000-80,000 people.
    • Vidanjali
      Both. In the course of experience an individual will naturally go through periods of inquiry and seek to define their experiences for deeper personal insight. This potentially goes on and on, though some have greater curiosity than others.
    • Ashley0616
      Heck I would get rid of the left and right lower rib. I would love a narrower waist but I would still need to get rid of my gut. I guess I'll do liposuction and tummy tuck and while they are at they can remove those ribs. 
    • MaeBe
      What @Sally Stone wrote is what I think as well.   The flippancy they ascribe to trans people is to validate their position that trans people are given to whim and swayed by the "trans ideology" that is "poisoning" humanity. Projecting this narrative on trans people "wins them points" in the game of their own making and being loud about it gets others to listen. They get those, who likely don't have a personal stake in transgender rights, to nod their heads up and down to increase the volume of their rhetoric. The passive transphobe does this because they have never needed to comprehend gender as anything as what they've always assumed; the "easy" answer the loud ones project just seems "logical" when there is no comprehension or compassion.   Once a person looks past their own ignorance they can come to understand this isn't about what they fear (insert crass statement about what transphobes are actually afraid of). It's just too easy to be ignorant and state "all I've ever known are two genders, boys and girls, who have sex together to make babies" (conflating gender and sex, as usual...) instead of taking just a little bit of time to understand the world is more complex than a simple bible verse.   For those people, I have a rib or two they can have for making more women--that's just how they're made--I really want a narrower waist for dress season.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      St. Louis is a Cardinals town.  At least you have the right team!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The mindset seems to be: they are not crazy, we are.   Surveys indicate the majority of people are in favor of trans rights.  There is a minority that is influenced by the inner minority, the hard core "transphobes".  I think a lot of people simply need information.  But then they get two streams of information from opposite directions. 
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon everyone,   We're heading back to the St. Louis, MO metro area for my sister-in-laws retirement party. It appears that everyone on that side of the family now knows about my coming out & transition. So they will be looking at my androgynous manner of dress, in a totally different way. I'm wearing workout leggings, and a St. Louis Cardinals jersey. My leggings doesn't have pockets, so I'm carrying a cross body sling bag. My hair is held back with a white Cardinals visor, and my tennis shoes have Cardinal red lases.      Let the side eyes begin,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Sally Stone
      Abigail, I think this line of thinking comes mostly from the cis community, specifically, those with an anti-trans agenda.  These are the self-proclaimed experts ( who have no idea what it's like to be trans) trying to tell us they have a better understanding of being trans than we do.    
    • Ashley0616
    • Maddee
      You are so welcome 😊🦋 🌈🌈
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