Hello

[Guest AzureSkyline]

So, hello

I'm pretty bad at name picking so I picked AzureSkyline kind of out of no where. Call me Luck because it's simple and I'm pretty proud of the Irish in me no matter how small it is =P

On to the point: I'm going to pre-emtively tell myself what you will all tell me by default - "We can't diagnose you so the best thing we can reccomend is to see a specialist ".

I only say that pecause I've been perusing these forums for a while and I pick up on these things =P

My story: When I was really young I enjoyed painting my nails but picked up pretty quick that it wasn't something males do. It was late elementary that I started staying up late at night in bed wishing I would wake up the next day a girl. These feelings actually went away pretty quick, but as I've seen suggested in these forums before that once you have these feelings they tend not to go away. That, as I came to find out, was true. The feelings did come back. I am a 90's kid so the internet was readily available in my early teens and I soon came accross a website about a transgendered MTF and was quite fascinated by it. After a while the feelings resided again only to come back again later on. This has continued for the rest of my life. I got into wearing panties early on as well, but I never really thought of it as a cross dressing thing, more of an enjoyable thing, a right thing.

I would like to mention at this point that when I had these "phases" they lasted about one to two weeks before residing for months at a time before coming back. In between I live a very happy life with great parents (only child) and, although few in number, really great guy friends. I'm a very optimistic and generally happy person. I am also a person that plays a lot of video games, and for what it's worth, typically plays femaile characters because playing males just never felt right to me. Due to my enjoyment for video games I hide behind technology quite a bit and am a generally quiet person in public.

On relationships I've usually been pretty succesful, although I've usually been the one that wanted to be taken care of, even if I wouldn't admit it to myself at the time.

I've always had some feminin qualities about myself and at this point I've accepted this as a normal thing for many guys. I have thought about the possibility of being gay, but after experiementing, I quickly realised that's definitely not who I am. I can always remember having a high admiration for female clothing, but again not in the drag queen cross dressing kind of way.

I don't remember my "phases" particularly well but I want to say they come back stronger every time. So finally I told a cousin about my feelings and as I guessed she was really kool about it and even found a therapist that I will be seeing soon who is a proffesional at GID. My prime example of feelings getting stronger is that I've been super down and secluded all past week while I soul searched. When I though about myself as a girl though I experienced some sort of quick wave of happiness.

Anyways, thanks for listening! I can't wait for your thoughts!

[MaryEllen]

Hello AzureSkyline,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

MaryEllen

[Guest angels wings]

Welcome AzureSkyline ur name is very unique nice choice

[Guest Ney'ite]

Welcome to Laura's, AzureSkyline Luck - it is nice to meet you.

Your story rang many bells in my own story so I can personally relate to much of your life's experiences. And you are right: it does not go away. You mentioned that each time it comes back, it comes back stronger. You may even find that some childhood thoughts you had suppressed, come crashing through. That happened to me. Many times over.

Anyway, enjoy your stay here and thank you for sharing!

Edited April 23, 2012 by Bette
Lack of morning coffee - used the wrong name

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Luck. I'm glad you came inside instead of pressing your nose up to the glass.

I encourage you to post whatever questions or comments you have in any of the forums, and we'll do our best to answer them. If you haven;t already done so, please be sure to read the Terms and Condiitons of the site.

Thanks for sharing your story, and I look forward to reading more.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Guest_SL]

Hey,

Nice story and one to which I can relate. The, "Phases" concept and the rush of happiness when I would hit those, "Gosh! I am a girl." times. For my the phases didn't pass as much as were repressed. But you reminded me of something I had forgotten until this minute but I'll take that though elsewhere.

This is about you and I think Bette's post followed by mine tells you that whatever you feel, others here can relate and are thrilled you're here!

Sara Lee

[Guest AzureSkyline]

Thank you, everyone, for your kind responses =)

Luck

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi AzureSkyline,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna