How long to process letter?

[Guest ValerieD]

I just got my referral for HRT and my therapist faxed the letter to the endocrinologist I selected. I called them to let them know and leave my contact information and they said they would call me back to set up an appointment when they've "processed" the letter. How long will that take? I got my letter Wednesday but I have yet to hear back. Additionally, the only times I have available for an appointment during the next two weeks are early afternoon on Apr 30, May 2, May 4, or May 7, so I need to make an appointment NOW if I'm to not have to wait a month. What am I supposed to do?

[Drea]

That can take up to 23 weeks or more...assuming they remember.

Well not really, but up to or more...well I think I covered any duration there...

Seriously such would totally be dependant on the doctors office so ask them.

Now I know nothing of that doctors office, but the ones I went to weren't all oriented around hormone referral letters so that whole fax in and wait seems weird to me, but maybe some do that. My experience with doctors offices is that they basically do nothing unless you have an appointment and even then they won't worry about a thing till that day or not until you show up.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I just got my referral for HRT and my therapist faxed the letter to the endocrinologist I selected. I called them to let them know and leave my contact information and they said they would call me back to set up an appointment when they've "processed" the letter. How long will that take? I got my letter Wednesday but I have yet to hear back. Additionally, the only times I have available for an appointment during the next two weeks are early afternoon on Apr 30, May 2, May 4, or May 7, so I need to make an appointment NOW if I'm to not have to wait a month. What am I supposed to do?

Hon.......

I received my HRT letter on a Friday and called the Endo office.....they told me to fax it over and then asked if I could show up on Tuesday....And, you bet I did....

Every office works different....there are no set rules for this.....

Stay in contact with them and let them know when you are available to do it.....

After all, you're the one spending the money.......they work for YOU!

G'luck!

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Svenna]

It took two attempts to get a fax through to my doctor by my therapist, and the follow-up took a few days...

As others have noted, there is no way to know what your doctors usual routine is..

Because I knew I was trying to get a non-existant transition slot with an already over-worked, experienced provider, and one that offered a flexible, sliding-scale payment plan, I was extra sure to be polite and super appreciative. Things couldn't have worked out better, as it turns out...

Patience, patience...

But be diligent, too!

Svenna

[MackenzieB]

Process a letter? How do they do that and what do they do with it? I got mine, faxed it to the Doc and had an appointment within a couple of days. My case may be different as I don't go to an endo for hrt. I picked out a Doc a couple of months ahead of time (it's a LGBT clinic). I go there for everything now.

[VickySGV]

Check to be sure your therapist did in fact send the letter to them by checking with the therapist, and ask them for the time stamp on their sending. Call the Endo's office back with that information. I had my letter sent via intra-healthplan e-mail, got a call offering me an appointment which was about 40 days in the future two days later and took it like a free lunch!! My endo was the only one in our local health plan who did the MTF hormone work, so the time was not too bad all things told, except for my nerves!!

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Call and ask. It took me 5 weeks to get an appointment, but they 'processed' the letter that first day while I waited..

Lizzy

[Guest ValerieD]

Well, today I found out the ugly truth: they processed the letter a while ago, but the reason I haven't heard anything is because there aren't any appointments available until July! I don't know what I'm going to do; my transition plans were dependent on starting HRT now! I can't afford to take a gap year during or after college so now I'm going to have to go job hunting while still looking male! Plus I'm going to have to spend an hour each morning shaving in the fall when I have 9am classes and I don't know how I'm supposed to do that, especially since my sleep cycle is all screwed up (probably from my hormones not matching what my brain needs). And when I get my name change I'll still look male too, so I'll be cursed with a masculine ID photo for the next decade! And how am I supposed to go swimming without HRT? I'll still be getting random erections without HRT, but I can't stand any swimwear other than one piece suits and bikinis. I guess my plans to get in shape by swimming have just gone down the drain.

I don't know what to do. My transition plans are collapsing. Everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong with my transitioning. And the pattern will likely continue. What does the universe have against me? Why must I have more bad luck than every other person I have even heard of?

I literally had NO contingency plan. I don't see how I can transition any more. My hair is too short for me to pass without HRT; my face is masculine enough that I'm ashamed of it and feel I look like a freak when I present as female.

I can't believe that my plans have been obliterated so quickly. What am I to do? I had assumed that nobody past college would ever even suspect that I'm trans; that's now impossible.

[VickySGV]

First item is to calm down, and re-evaluate what you can do. Many people begin transition before HRT, and the three months are not totally going to trash you out. If item 4 on your list MUST take place ONLY after items 1, 2, and 3 are totally done to perfection, there is something wrong with the list. Name changes can be done whenever you want to and don't have a passel of creditors you are trying to gyp. The court clerks won't bat an eye if you show up with a full beard and want the name SUE. As to the beard, go ahead and get it done starting as soon as you can, it might even be better to get it electro'ed with your T intact. I have heard it both ways from equally competent electrologists. Going out and getting your wardrobe together in the next three months can also be done. The HRT is going to take at least 2 years to finish its work no matter when you get it. There has got to be some way to keep your shaving from being all that long per day, there are ways to deal with it.

As an old saying goes, "When all else fails, lower your demands and expectations!!"

[Guest Gwendolyn Elizabeth]

Valerie, no plan survives contact with reality. My original plan assumed the house would sell quickly, then the divorce would be done and then i would start everything: first get an apartment, then hrt, then laser, then fulltime, etc. The house took 11 months to sell, the divorce probably won't be final until august. I started hrt 9 mo ago, went full time 5 months ago, but i expect to be out of my parent's house next week. You just gotta roll with the changes. when something comes up, route around it.

Keep smiling

Gwen

[Paula ult]

Valerie, take a deep breath, call the doctors office and ask if they have any patients cancel an appointment if they would let you know, you may have to cancel what you were doing if you want an appointment sooner.

Hormones do very little if anything about eliminating facial hair, you will need to start either laser or electrolysis to reduce or eliminate it, if you have light skin and dark hair, get a consult for laser and see if it will work for you, by the time school starts again your facial hair should be sparse or gone, laser is not permanent and in the future you may need touch-ups or electrolysis, hormones do not make your head hair grow faster so you should have started growing it months ago.

Plans have a way of changing in a moments notice as you have found out, make a new plan A, then a plan B for if plan A fails, then a plan C in case both A & B fail, i did this and ended up going to plan C.

Hormones are not a magic pills that you take and wake up the next morning with a female body and long hair, it will take at least between one to two years for most of the changes to be complete, and even then your body will continue to change, they will reduce your body hair over time.

There is nothing to say you can not get your name changed, build a female wardrobe, thin your eyebrows, work on your voice, mannerisms etc. before you start hormones, even if your face looks a bit masculine, if all the rest i mentioned you have worked on and are good, people will think female when they see you, i do not know how many women i have seen that have masculine features but their actions say female.

I do not know how much weight you want to lose but swimming is not the only exercise to burn calories, take long walks, jog, ride a bike.

Paula

[Drea]

Well, today I found out the ugly truth: they processed the letter a while ago, but the reason I haven't heard anything is because there aren't any appointments available until July! I don't know what I'm going to do; my transition plans were dependent on starting HRT now! I can't afford to take a gap year during or after college so now I'm going to have to go job hunting while still looking male! Plus I'm going to have to spend an hour each morning shaving in the fall when I have 9am classes and I don't know how I'm supposed to do that, especially since my sleep cycle is all screwed up (probably from my hormones not matching what my brain needs). And when I get my name change I'll still look male too, so I'll be cursed with a masculine ID photo for the next decade! And how am I supposed to go swimming without HRT? I'll still be getting random erections without HRT, but I can't stand any swimwear other than one piece suits and bikinis. I guess my plans to get in shape by swimming have just gone down the drain.

First off, 2 or 3 months won't make that much difference in appearance with HRT so if you can't do it with that small delay you wouldn't with the hormones anyway.

Second, hormones aren't going to make a difference with facial hair so unless action is taken there, it is going to be a problem anyway.

Third, hormones aren't magical and automatically make one passable. There isn't any reason you can't start on the other things now.

Lastly, start planning for contingencies because there are plenty of things that you simply aren't going to be able to control and you will have to make adjustments.

[Guest ValerieD]

Well, I'm still going full time May 20 regardless. Not much I can do to change that time without complicating my life even more. And while waiting 2 months won't make a difference long term, it will make a big difference short term.

As for my name change concerns, it's my photo ID updating that concerns me. NYS DMV won't change the photo without a licence renewal or something like that. The picture that I get when I get my name/gender marker changed is the one I'll be stuck with for the next 8 years. With no HRT, I'll still look male from the face, even if I do succeed in covering my beard shadow with makeup (can't afford hair removal until I graduate and get a job; my regular income is only $16/week and I'm coasting off money saved from my internship last summer).

I've been growing my hair since late October, but I started with a crew cut, and my hair is wavy too so it takes longer to grow long, so right now it's not long enough to be styled, and probably won't be for another year. Plus I know nothing about styling hair, Mom refuses to teach me (she says it's because all the stuff she knows applies to baby boomers; I think it's because my parents equate being trans with cross-dressing), and I don't have any close female relatives my age.

[Drea]

Well, I'm still going full time May 20 regardless. Not much I can do to change that time without complicating my life even more. And while waiting 2 months won't make a difference long term, it will make a big difference short term.

Had you got an appointment the day this topic was started May 20th wouldn't even be a month so the change caused by hormones would be mostly emotional with very little external change, so the short term difference in terms of appearance is somewhere between none and very little, certainly not "big difference".

As for my name change concerns, it's my photo ID updating that concerns me. NYS DMV won't change the photo without a licence renewal or something like that. The picture that I get when I get my name/gender marker changed is the one I'll be stuck with for the next 8 years.

Again as I said the hormones wouldn't have changed that. I also note that my friend had no problem getting her picture updated.

With no HRT, I'll still look male from the face, even if I do succeed in covering my beard shadow with makeup (can't afford hair removal until I graduate and get a job; my regular income is only $16/week and I'm coasting off money saved from my internship last summer).

None of that would bedifferent after just a month on hormones. The emotional effects can be fast, but physical takes longer than a few weeks.

I've been growing my hair since late October, but I started with a crew cut, and my hair is wavy too so it takes longer to grow long, so right now it's not long enough to be styled, and probably won't be for another year. Plus I know nothing about styling hair, Mom refuses to teach me (she says it's because all the stuff she knows applies to baby boomers; I think it's because my parents equate being trans with cross-dressing), and I don't have any close female relatives my age.

And how exactly were hormones to make this problem go away?

Hormones are not a cure all for appearance. They are not a substitue for having to address things such as facial hair, grooming, hair styles, voice, makeup, speaking patters.

[Guest ValerieD]

Even just a couple months wouldn't do much of anything? Don't we have members here who basically transformed into women in that short amount of time?

I had assumed that people who don't know me now would never find out I'm trans. That won't be possible now, that's for sure.

Why is it that every time I get close to HRT something happens to put me back at square 1? I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get to start it at all!

[Drea]

Even just a couple months wouldn't do much of anything? Don't we have members here who basically transformed into women in that short amount of time?

Oh yes, there are people who publicly change gender roles quickly. Some of those did so without being on hormones. Others did when they started hormones or shortly after. In those cases however it wasn't a month or two of hormones that created some passing miracle.

Now just how passable is someone like that. I am sure it varies. Some have spent years perfecting an image before hand and others haven't but may have some natural talked. Others still may not care.

As a general rule, there is no pill, no injection that totally transforms one completely. Transition just isn't that simply.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I started HRT and took a year and a half to go full time (except at work) - and I had had good and fast results. It takes at least a year to be noticeable on the physical changes, to the point where people start asking questions.

There are many people who go full time anyway. It depends a lot on attitude!

Lizzy

[VickySGV]

Even just a couple months wouldn't do much of anything? Don't we have members here who basically transformed into women in that short amount of time?

Absolutely NONE if they are telling the truth!! This sort of thing happens frequently in TG fantasy and pornography, but no way in RL if hormones are all that are involved. I have 34 months going for me, and it was 25 of them before my RL started, but there were many enjoyable but mildly scarey periods of full time days or weeks. It was 6 months before I showed any sign other than being happier mentally with my whole self, and my feminine charcteristics above the belt line are still in "developing mode" and my Endo is happy as a clam about what is happening to me. I am a little ahead of schedule for a natal woman. They take from 10 years old to 17 or 20 to get the full dose. I have two natal girl daughters, and thats how it was, their mom stopped developing because she became pregnant with our first daughter.

The real members who we have that seem to have broken out of it in a 2 month length of time have carefully made their plans and learned about themselves and their new life and then when the stage was fully set, gone out in front of the lights to meet the world.

Full stealth is about as practical and doable as do it yourself brain surgery!! You can be pretty and acceptable easily, and it will be no ones real business, but planning on stealth today is like planning a surprise birthday party for yourself.

HRT is not leagally necessary for you to go out as your female self, and you will be wasting a lot of time if you just sit waiting for your appointment. I was actually a CD for 8 years before I would admit to be TS, but was accepted as female even as non-transitioning back then. You can go out tomorrow in a dress and make-up and will probably do fine. You will do it for you, the HRT won't do a thing for you in any length of time that will not require your good attitude and A WHOLE LOT OF WORK.

[MackenzieB]

Even just a couple months wouldn't do much of anything? Don't we have members here who basically transformed into women in that short amount of time?

I had assumed that people who don't know me now would never find out I'm trans. That won't be possible now, that's for sure.

Why is it that every time I get close to HRT something happens to put me back at square 1? I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get to start it at all!

Oh sure, there have been people who claim to have those absolutely amazing, and nature defying, results overnight. Hmmm... makes me curious as to where those people went? Must have taken the bullet train further down the track and, ahh... gotten lost somewhere.

[Guest Shy]

Do you even need a letter these days? I thought the new standards of care state that anyone can get on HRT, but the letter/RLE is still required before any bottom surgery is approved. Please correct me if I'm wrong... I've been seeing a therapist for a year, but I went and found a doctor on my own. First visit was blood work, and 2nd visit they prescribed my E and T-blocker. My GT never corresponded with my doctor.

Not sure where you are located in New York, Valerie, but Callen Lorde in NYC is where I go. They have doctors who specialize in transgender care, and there is a pharmacy downstairs. It's a really great place.

[Guest ValerieD]

Well, they finally gave me an appointment: August 9. What am I to do in the mean time? I'm very unhappy with how masculine I look (and I'm already full time)! In particular, my arms are too fat, I need to figure out a way to shave outside of the shower before I come home (not enough hot water), and wearing an A36 bra without any breast development gives me back pain. I'm also sick and tired of random erections. I'd love to be able to pass consistently without makeup on, but that doesn't seem like it will happen without a few months on HRT.

[VickySGV]

It may not happen even WITH a few months of HRT. Be prepared for that to happen. Everybody who knew me as a male has no trouble recognizing me, and I am days away from three years on hormones. What makes me pass is being content with myself as I am, and showing the care and interest in other people that is real. Just showing those things will give you more mileage than a few pills. Be thankful when you get the meds, but miracles don't come in pill bottles unless you are reading cheap TG porn.