Work -.- (FtM)

[Guest Damond]

So I got a summer job basically, working as a ride operator at an amusement park. I intentionally try to pass--not so much with my co-workers, but much more with the guests. I first started working, and figured that having to wear a uniform and the like would eliminate some of the gender markers of "female". I bind under my work shirt, and I wear loose pants (actually women's pants because actual men's clothing were too big in the waist). My name tag says "kyle". For the first few weeks I had about chin length hair and was telling myself the reason I was still getting a lot of "she's" and "hers"...

But now I've got my hair cut, short, and am still getting a lot of the same female pronouns. Kind of makes me wonder what I'm doing or not doing to give myself away. Maybe the uniform hurts more, because I pass more as a guy being androgynous in my regular clothing (skinny jeans, band t-shirt etc), or I've gotten a lot of passing comments that I have a very feminine/round face. Most of the parents are out nailing me as female before I can even talk if my voice were a give-away factor.

It's not like this is devastating for me, since I really doubt I'll see these people again and it doesn't matter--I just want to pass for practice, in the real world :/ any tips?

[Guest LuceKeagan]

One tip I can think of is for you to watch some of your male co-workers and try and emulate their actions. The way you stand and walk, as well as body posture can affect how people first perceive you and gender you. "Own your space." Is what I have been told by both natal and non-natal males. Sounds simple enough...until you ask them what they mean by it hah. In general men take up more space. When you sit (if you do at work) don't cross your legs unless you put your ankle over your knee. Holding your arms too close to your body can give you away also since women usually take up less space (hold arms and legs closer together). Since you wear a binder you might want to adjust your posture some, straight back and shoulders up instead of the slouching that is very common (and a hard habit to break) for us ftms. In our minds those things are ALOT bigger than they really are.

How you interact with the guests might be what's giving you a hard time also. How would you say you interact with the guests in general? Any different for the men and women or kids? Is your name tag handwritten?

One thing I will say for passing. It gets easier when you can accept yourself as looking like the man you are. For me personally and many of the transmen I know personally the right attitude goes a long way for passing. I pass most of the time now (post-hormones)....until I talk hah. My voice is still changing so it gives me away when I speak. I've had people say sorry for using the right pronouns for me after hearing my voice. =) I just laugh it off and ask if it really matters. Easy and laid back attitude seems to work for me well when it comes to passing.

Just remember in the end it doesn't really matter that you were misgendered by some stranger you'll probably not see again (Who apparently can't read your name tag either hah)...can't help it if most of the world walks around gender-blind.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Well unfortunatly one of the key indicators of gender is beard shadow. When I had it, I got called sir all the time. Now that it's gone, I get called ma'am or nothing at all. How's your voice? Have you, or can you drop it down an octave and still sound okay? I don't know how much talking you have to do or if you have to do any safety spiels or anything like that. How about mannerisms? Like if you have to cough, are you coughing into your palm (lady like) or into a closed fist (guy like)?

Yeah sorry my advice or suggestions aren't very good. Stick with what LuceKeagan said.

Oh btw can I get some free tickets to Elitch? I've never been.

(I've only seen 2 amusement parks in Denver so I'm hoping I picked the right one)

[Guest Melissa~]

Pre-transition here, I'll take anytime a person uses my prefered pronoun, I got a Mamm yesterday from wait staff at a restauraunt, I had a normal guys top on, I was with my wife, mother and a lady friend. My wife fortunately didn't catch that the Mamm was for me, she is prepping to divorce me anyhow.

[Guest Damond]

I guess I kind of blend the lines of gender at work .-. I mean today I wasn't even wearing a binder, just a sports bra. I'm very small chested so it's not noticeable. when I hunch my shirt drapes enough to make my chest look flat. I had some people actually say, "give her the tickets," looked up to see my name tag (Kyle) and then started saying he. Twice in a row lol. Which I found surprising. a) was only wearing the sports bra like I said, I had my gauges in which look kind of like earrings which usually make people think girl. I guess recently I started wearing sunglasses and they are the more sportsy male-style ones so maybe that helps? lol

I have the postures down mostly because I do them anyways, aside from maybe crossing my legs every once and a while. A few of the guys at work tend to hunch and put their hands in their pockets which I am starting to do lol... my big give away is my voice. I have a very high pitched voice. when I am talking directly to them I can lower it and come off as male, but say I have to tell the rules to four people on a ride and have to yell? then my pitch goes up a lot. I can only talk kind of masculine if my voice is low or quiet lol, which doesn't really apply at my job...

And Lizzie, the park isn't in Denver it's up in Golden. A smaller more family like one. Cheaper prices so we get a lot of minority families coming through, or ones with lots of little kids to pay for. It's been around a LONG time. my mom went when she was a kid, and it was there before then too. We have an alpine slide too

But yeah I really don't correct people. I don't want them to say "no, you're not a guy" and then obviously I don't want to correct them on my bio-gender.

Mostly I just get a lot of name-tag misreads if they peg me as a girl. They'll say "Kylie?" instead of Kyle or something... or Skylar. People can't read lol. It's printed on there with a label sticker damn it >.<

Or that moment when a parent calls me 'he' as a coworker walks by... awkward. I don't try and pass with my coworkers really since it's a mostly solitary man-your-ride solo deal.

Though I did have a manager ask why I liked to go by Kyle .-. so he got a vague answer there. lol.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

And Lizzie, the park isn't in Denver it's up in Golden.

Ah..the other one I've passed on the interstate. I've seen the roller coaster, it looks fun!

Sounds like it's trial and error on the job with the name and gender thing with a little bit of success every now and then, which you expected.

[Guest Damond]

...Lizzie not sure what park you're thinking of, you can't see anything from the interstate at my amusement park Heritage Square. It's inbetween foothills and is more of a kiddie park than anything. We don't have any big coasters to be seen--just the alpine slide.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

...Lizzie not sure what park you're thinking of, you can't see anything from the interstate at my amusement park Heritage Square.

Well dang, how many are there! Lol. I had to look it up. I passed Lakeside on the way to Golden so that's the one I was thinking of.

(my coaster/theme park friends would be embarrassed to be seen with me after this mixup. lol)

[Guest Damond]

oh yes I know Lakeside, but that's not it lol that's still in Denver. Heritage is IN golden. Like, main street of Golden is ten min away between Golden and Morrison.