Coming out at work and being a transwoman "tomboy"?

[Guest Orva26]

Greetings forum browsers both carbon and silicone based. @_@

It is growing increasingly obvious to me that I have a desire let my co-workers know me. I am beginning to understand why being trans can be a silent handicap. There is a growing disconnect between myself and my career goals that I believe is being exaggerated by the fact that peoples' expectations of me are not realistic. Rather I mean they aren't really for me 100% but rather for the role that society decided for me when a doctor first looked between my legs.

But I am nervous because I am NOT a feminine transwoman. I'm basically a tomboy and even *gasp* a masculine woman. I like wearing jeans and t-shirts. polos, female dress shirts, and sneakers. I carry a wallet, not a purse and I don't wear makeup (with the exception of the occasional eyeliner). I would like to learn from others who have come out at their job and who like me are tomboy/butch/masculine transwoman. How did/do you deal with peoples' questions? And how often do people attack your identity because you don't express it in the manner they expect you too? What ways did you deal with these stresses?

Also, DON'T BE SHY TRANSGUYS! If you are a feminine/flamboyant transguy and you're out at your workplace I'd like to hear from you too. Our situations are more alike than different.

[Guest mistygirl7]

If your not on her yet , you think you will be tomboy like but that will slowly change as you progress in your transition, I though to that I would be just a tomboy but I know I'm not a girly girl so I'm more in between. So don't label yourself just have to wait and see.

[Guest Haidos]

well i'm one of those feminine flambouyant transmen, i'd say the best thing you can do is be yourself i know it's a cliche but if you're confident in who you are and your identity then other people will most probably just see you as you.

i'd say be prepared to be misgendered if you're in a customer facing environment or meeting new people often, but don't let it get to you (easier said than done)

answer questions with honesty first and foremost and the amount of detail you give should be dependant on circumstance.

as for dealing with the stresses just remember your rights if anyone harasses you or discriminates against you then do something about it, if someone is just rather closed minded then or ill informed correct them and move on.

[Carolyn Marie]

You've gotten some good advice, Orva. "Just be yourself" is the best piece of advice. You aren't required to meet anyone's expectations except your own. You don't have to wear a label, or fit in a box. You are free to be who you want to be, who you are comfortable being.

The goal is to be happy. If you can accomplish that, you've made it.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie