Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Clamming up


Guest Basilo

Recommended Posts

Guest Basilo

What do you do when you've decided that you really want to come out, and you feel ready, but when you go to tell someone or place the letter or whichever method you chose, you clam up and can't say anything?

Link to comment
Guest ~DeeDee~

I have the same problem, I want to tell the world but when I get there I turtle and go back in the shell. I am interested in some of he responses also.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I've been doing a lot of coming out recently. At first it was really hard, i'd clam up too. Once i got out a little experience it got easier. I seem to be able to let go. Most folks prove loving and its not been the end of the world i thought it would be.

Relax and take your time. Shouldn't say this but kind of like sitting on the toilet. Relax and it will come.

Hugs, Charlie

Link to comment
Guest Gibby

I always have a backup written copy of my explanation in case something like that goes wrong. I am not even going to risk it with my parents; I have a method planned out where I don't have to say anything.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Jade T

The first person I came out to was to my sister over skype. She kept on bugging me to tell her why I was feeling better, what was my epiphany that I mentioned to her? I finally sent her a picture of myself followed about my explanation about my life and the way I felt since childhood. From there it got easier for me to come out to old friends I know.

What I did was I came out to people in rapid succession. I wrote all the emails I wanted to send to the people I wanted to send. Then I hit "Send" for them all at once lol. As of right now, I only have about 1/3 of the friends that I use to. Most of them will have nothing to do or have no further contact with me at all anymore. At least I can be thankful that they are not harassing me instead.

The only person I haven't told yet was my father. I have thought about it time and time again, but I haven't mustered the courage to tell him yet. I think I will send him an email soon though. I am worried about the fallout. But one thing my sister said that made sense was that I shouldn't live my whole life in hiding. I guess it is time for me to "man up" so to say lol.

Hugs,

Jade

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

The first person is the hardest. You feel so guilty and scared they react just like that back to you! HARD

It gets easier each time - and you get more self assured and cnfident. The react more like that in return.

Who do you really want to tell? Start with that person?

That's my advice I guess.

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest ~DeeDee~

I feel like if I did not go the face to face route, some of the people whom are closest to me would be more disappointed in that than the fact I am trans. I think a face to face goes a long way in showing your respect to someone. Jade, I mean no disrespect to you either, to each is own.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   12 Members, 0 Anonymous, 221 Guests (See full list)

    • EasyE
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Cyndee
    • Petra Jane
    • ClaireBloom
    • Ivy
    • MaryEllen
    • Mmindy
    • Jamey-Heather
    • Birdie
    • Stacie.H
    • Cynthia Slowan
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,087
    • Most Online
      8,356

    TransNameA
    Newest Member
    TransNameA
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. FullyHart
      FullyHart
    2. MariPosa
      MariPosa
      (65 years old)
    3. pechenezhka
      pechenezhka
      (17 years old)
    4. Rubycd
      Rubycd
      (59 years old)
    5. Yana
      Yana
      (31 years old)
  • Posts

    • EasyE
      I relate to a lot of this ... in my 50s now ... never really questioned my body but have always been fascinated with girl stuff (and loved that I had two daughters because it gave me an excuse to explore the feminine world more)...   I like how you said this: "When I dared to take another peek inside, my egg cracked big time." Yep ... yep ... yep...  
    • Ivy
      This is kinda long but if somebody is interested…   https://medium.com/prismnpen/cass-review-weaponized-political-right-497080b8c6d2    
    • Desert Fox
      Sorry to hear you lost both your parents young. My dad died from a heart attack when I was 10. My mom died a few years ago. I never came out, truly, to either of them, about my gender identity. On one hand it is freeing, not having to deal with “what would they think or feel about me now” but on the other hand, I wish they had truly known.
    • Ivy
      I think a lot of us did this.
    • Ivy
    • Mmindy
      This is fantastic, We're adding a Boxer to our family sometime this evening or tomorrow. His name is Parker. We'll be crate training him as well as introducing him to two cats that have never been around a dog.   Pictures to follow later,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ivy
      I still don't understand how any queer people can vote for these people.  I'll just leave it at that.
    • ClaireBloom
      Thanks Kathy!    Some place where the peer pressure is to dress more feminine instead of less.  Imagine that. I haven't left the house in fem clothing since an outing to a local LGBT club over 15 years ago.   She's also pointed me to some support groups so that's next as well.     And for those who noticed, yes, I committed a rather egregious grammatical error in my post, but I couldn't figure out how to edit it.  That stuff bugs me to death. Geez Louise .
    • Ivy
      Just more of the same.  Unfortunately, I'm coming to expect it.
    • Ivy
      Everybody doesn't feel this way. As a AMAB child (in the 50's) I don't think I questioned my body, but I was quite fascinated with girl stuff.  When puberty hit I really wished I was a girl - but alas - I was stuck living as a guy.  As an adult I had pretty bad  homophobia, which was probably internalized transphobia, but I didn't really know what transgender was at the time.  And by then I was locked into a marriage and family. I lived like that for most of my life, and convinced myself (but not my wife) that I was happy.  When we were in our 60's, the marriage fell apart.  And I believe a large part of that was me resisting my feminine self.  When I no longer had to live up to being a man, I dared to take another peek inside, and my egg cracked big time. I still don't think I was "born in the wrong body."  Maybe it just needed a little tweaking. I think our "gender" is an internal thing.   I don't regret having lived so long trying to be a guy.  But if I could have transitioned as a child it would have been awesome.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Said it is possibly ptsd and anxiety,wants a second opinion.
    • Mmindy
      @Adrianna DanielleSeeing two different therapist for separate issues really helped me deal with the each of them on different levels. I hope this works for you too.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Adrianna Danielle
      My life is back on track.I lost both of my parents at age 24 before I came our,dad to a heart attack and mom to drugs.Good thing is my other family members have been there support.The VA pays for my transition,did 4 years in the Army
    • Adrianna Danielle
      I have been having issues from my past and going to get help for.It has been from my parents whom are deceased that forced me into being the person whom I really was not before I came out.Therspist I see for my transitioning said going to refer me a therapist that deals with ptsd and anxiety issues.
    • Charlize
      I seem to remember the word "deplorables" being used not long ago.  Unfortunately so often appropriate.   Hugs,   Charlize
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...