Talking to my kids? (5 year old son, 3 year old daughter) Suggestions? Stories?

[Guest *Brooke*]

Ok, so I have a 5 year old son, and a 3 year old daughter. I have been trying to find out how to talk to them about what's going to be happening with me. My therapist asked me to look up on how others have done so with their children or young siblings.

My children seem to be rather understanding, but it's hard to say how it'll be with this though. I guess I just want to get an idea on how others have told younger children. Thank you very kindly for any suggestions that you may have or experiences you've had.

[Guest PeterP]

I can't speak to talking to very young ones. Younger children are typically more accepting because they haven't had as much time to develop opinions or more importantly, prejudices. I came out to my 12 year old daughter and, while she loves me very much, she is not very accepting...yet. In my case, there is way more on the table than just me transitioning. The important thing that came out of it was that my daughter says she loves me and doesn't want to lose me. She just wants me to be her mommy for the rest of her life. I just can't do that. But we are working through that a day at a time. She has shown some indication tha she is adjusting to the idea.

I would think that asking at least your son how it feels to be a boy and if he feels like it fits. Does he like it? Then explain that you being a man doesn't feel right and you need to fix that. Let him be angry if he needs to be. Tell him you will always be the same person on the inside, but will look different on the outside. Let him ask as many questions as he wants to. Above all, be honest with him and keep it as simple as you can. As for your daughter, I don't know what to say. She is very young. I think as long as you are positive and tell her that transitioning will make you feel happier inside she will be fine with it.

Best of luck,

Peter

[VickySGV]

My 8 year old grandson had an image of a grandfather that he was having a little trouble with changing. My assurance that HE was very much still a grandSON to me. At the minute he is still having no problems with being a boy, and is pretty assertive about his indentity. I assured him I was and would be so happy for him to stay that way. His younger brother (5) is not so worried about his own gender identity, and was happy just to know that he could expect hugs from me.

This site has a DVD movie about young children and Transgendered relatives that I bought for my son and his wife to show to the kids if they felt it was right. I met the producer who is the child of a transgendered parent at one of the national TG conferences. http://www.nodumbquestions.com

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Although my kids were much older when I came out to them, one thing that believe is consistent regardless of age. Children have a true desire to see you happy and understand. Your children are so much younger than mine, but I suspect that to allow them to know you is in their best interests as well as yours. You know your children the best and you know how to approach them. Children understand more than you know.

Love.

Brenda

[Kyla666]

This is why i will make the change WAY before my kid gets to a age he/she can even start to think for them self's lol

That way i'll just be Mommy number 2 to my kids

[Charlize]

Thanks for the topic. I'll be dealing with my two grandsons soon i think. The older at 5 noticed some clothes in my bathroom last week. "Does grampie play dress up?" Thanks to Vickie for the video link i bookmarked it for later.

Hugs, Charlie

[Guest *Brooke*]

Thanks everyone! I have some thoughts now on how I'll proceed in telling them. I won't be going into any details with them, because that could make it confusing, or just go over their heads. I'll keep it simple, and reassure them, that I will love them no matter what. Along with answering any questions that they may end up having, which I'm sure they'll have at least some, if not a lot. lol My kids seem to be very accepting of things though, so I have a good feeling about it. I'll most likely wait a bit longer, until I'm closer to being on hormones though. (Even though I am already growing my hair out)