Problems With Girls And Frustration.

[Guest Alex_Gentleman]

problems with girls

Hello..Im new here , my last post was erased so you probably dont remember me.

So this is the thing I want to talk about..

Im a ftm ( Im not quite sure about it , but Im not sure of anything so lets

just say I am.) and it often happens to me to fall in love with girls.

But the problem Is I always like straight girls. And since they like boys they look

at me like a girl( Gosh darned it!) and they dont wanna be with me :-(

So now I really like one girl. She says she is bi , but she is just one of

the girls that fool around with girls but actually wish to have a boyfriend. That sucks.

And even if she calls me "HER LITTLE BOY" , she still sees me as a girl and she does not

like me in that way.

That makes me really frustrated and this is not the first time this happens to me.

ANd I really, really like her :-///

I live in a small town so there are only a few lesbians and they dont

like me ...cause I dont look like a girl.

I mean...beeing gender confused is very complicated and this things make it even

more painful. For years Im often really depressed and I feel like crap all the time.

I feel so lonely and I think that no one will ever like me because im not a girl but

im needer a real boy. Im very very short and small,I have a really cute girly face and

the best thing I can reach is looking like a 12 year old little boy.

I think that even If I will ever get T I will still look like something undefined.

This sucks and I really dont know what to do.

I need some advice...

[Guest TBForLife]

Relax, chill out and don't be worried about girls.

Some day you'll find one who's open and understanding and accepting of all the amazing things you have to offer.

Girls are funny things. Try meeting one who's bisexual and will love having the best of both worlds. Hope that helps!

[Guest Jackson]

Do not underestimate the power of T. Trust me on this. I keep looking in the mirror and not seeing any facial changes. No one at work or even out around town seem to see me any differently. But I've seen guys on it for years and you can't tell they were anything but guys. So I have gotten used to the idea that it'll take years to reach the point no one will make a mistake. But I was stunned when I went to my therapy appointment last week. I shocked my therapist. She nearly fell over when she first saw me. I could see the shock in her eyes. But I don't see any difference. It's really weird. I've only been on it for three months. But I'm just now starting to see a few changes. The problem with me is that these changes happen so slowly that I don't even notice them. So don't think that even with hormones, you'll still be the same old you.

[Guest Evan_J]

I can understand what you're goin through, I live in one of those towns too were the same people you used to be so cool with (ie certain areas of the lesbian population) once you say "transitioning" you get the "ewww" reaction lol. Where I live there's almost 2 lesbian factions, one that just flat out rejects transitioning for ftms OR mtfs and another that on the surface looks like it would be tolerant since half of that group is running around calling the other half "he, him and my boyfriend" but in truth thats just their own subgroups definition of a "he" which (and this sounds like what you're experiencing) is in the end is actually a "she" and they want it to be a she. *sigh** Here's the tough part -at least it was tough for me because initially I thought I really liked lesbian girls for dating- and bear in mind this statement is only applicable should you conclude you are in fact ftm:

The reason you are having a hard time dating a lesbian girl is you're not one.

Doesn't that sound horrible? Almost anti-lesbian or something of me. But hear me out. (And its not at all anti-lesbian)

The definition of a lesbian is a woman who is attracted to other women. Not only does that statement tell you who those people are attracted to but it also subtly contains the truth that both parties are cisgendered as women; that no matter how masculine one of the partners is, at the end of the night she "relates" to being a woman, "feels" shes a woman, "accepts" being a woman, and doesn't want to be a man. I've heard loads of people like that. They embrace much masculinity but theres a serious demarcation between "masculine" and "male" and they would not accept themselves to become the later. That actually is a lesbian

You however aren't identifying as that. True enough you haven't concluded where you are in this, but it doesn't sound like you're there. In which case, even though you are not sure they are sure you're not filling that lesbian definition by virtue of wanting to be, accepting being, and wanting to be interacted with as a woman. Lesbians need that. Or you're asking the majority of them to "be straight". And thats a sure way to get bad reaction from a lesbian lol.

There are some women out there who identify as pansexual. That means they date anybody they darn well please and only see the personality of peeps; they don't decide who they date by either genitalia or gender just inner person. They too are in the lgbt community, or out of the lgbt community, they really don't feel they need to make themselves excusive anywhere. If you find one bear in mind she's not a lesbian either. Although she might include lesbian relationships amongst her list of possible types of relationships.

This is all interesting isn't it? It was for me when I got the "pansexuality" broken down for me. Anybody can be it. Its not gender specific. And can give you an idea of another "segment" of the population that may be available for love, romance, and sex.

For me, I'm one of those one's who likes bein a "straight guy". I like everybody as friends. Will (to be truthful) have sex wth a girl in whatever group if she lets me (lol) Will likely date a pansexual or straight girl once I feel I've transitioned far enough and want to date again, and am kinda conservative on some points without being homophobic. Figured I'd through that synopsis in in case you were wonderin about the source since I'm spouting off.

I actually remember seing your ID previously (before the server move and everyone new was lost) it stood out because of the word "gentleman". For me, thats something I do strive to live up to. At least in polite company lol.

And maybe its just me but I'd swear that for a lot of us anything less than 6' is too short lol. I'm 5'8" and still have my days where I feel "horrible" because I'm too short. What you might do tho (I did this) is take one day and honestly look at the height of most every bioguy you see. Unless its just somethin in the water where I live, they are not tall guys. Actually the majority are rather short. As short or shorter than most of us. I think because we're so hyperaware of our "differences" in this situation we internally magnify them.

And like Jackson said, T is an amazing thing. The changes it creates are way beyond moustaches and beards and as you get told about them (cuz you get told about em before you personally will be able to see em ) they will amaze you and soothe some of your "I lack this this and this" feelings. We all look like 12 year old boys either at the beginning or near the beginning, so you're no less masculine looking than any of us either are or have been at some point. Heck I still get neurotic thinking "nothing changed" looking in a mirror even when I know different. The changes are real.

In short, don't be discouraged. You're not the only one to be where you are. If anything "get in here" so you can be with everybody else

[Guest brandt]

hey man. i have the same problem. its gotten a little easier. but i'm living in a growing city and well right now. especially in my school. and its a small school i might add. there is a lot of people that are bi and gay. well okay anyway so here is my point. yeah i remember when that happened to me. i like straight girls too. and yeah some bi girls too. its hard to find a straight girl and you like them, but they see you as a girl and they don't like you because you are a GIRL. and it is frustrating yeah. well so i have a little story. currently i am liking someone. its pretty obvious and she likes me too. she knows i'm a girl and knows that i'm trans. she is straight. and she could never get the pronouns right for me. so i'm pretty confused if she see's me as a guy or a girl. but she is straight and it surprises me because she knows i'm a girl and yeah. but i'm guessing she sees me as a guy. part of it is probably because i look like a guy for real. but yeah. and for the past years i've liked straight girls. and bi and lesbian girls have liked me but i don't like them back because i don't have that attraction for them because they see me as a girl. some bi and lesbians like really butch girls. but yeah. i kinda lost my point here lol so sorry for the rambling. but i gues just don't be discouraged. if you have a good personality and maybe be yourself maybe a straight girl will like you. here's a tip. if you pass really well some girls go for you just depending if you really look cute. but don't rely on that.

i'm not so conceited but for the pass 2 years i've passed as a boy. and the people, or even straight girls, that knew me as a girl the previous years and saw my change, thought i was very attractive. i was pretty surprised and happy and glad i passed very well.

but again personality counts i think. not the looks. but i know its really hard to get a straight girl when you're an ftm. especially pre t.

well sorry if i lost the point but hope this gives you a little hope. goodluck man =]