Being Stared At

[JJ]

Sunday there was a band and choir concert at school. For both high school and middle school. The rest of the family had to work so I went alone.

As I sat there I became aware during the second half of the program that a half dozen high school kids from the senior band that had performed in the first half of the program were sitting a couple of rows down and to the left of me and had started to turn to stare at me. Not rudely but with clear curiosity. I sat a little straighter and smiled as I thought about what was happening. They were not unfriendly stares-and they were not prolonged or rude. Just curious (This community and the school has such a small population all of them know my story and one or two who recognized me were telling the others that is who was sitting behind them)

It occurred to me that I am the first openly transsexual person ever in this county and certainly the first they have ever personally seen. I've also lost well over half my body weight. Makes me kind of unusual. I'd have stared a little too if I had been one of them I'm sure.

I decided it didn't bother me. Was natural and perhaps even a good thing. They can see I'm normal to the point of being boring after awhile. That I have no agenda and am not going to get uncomfortable or offended easily so they can let their curiosity out and we can all relax.

Worked too. Soon they got enough of looking and when we all walked out together it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable at all.

As I said to my granddaughter-and she vehemently agreed-my situation is kind of weird and unusual by societal norms -But I'm not. I understand and accept the curiosity That is the message I want people to get. It's okay to see what I have done as a little weird as long as they also come to see and understand that I myself am not.

Johnny

[Cyndee]

Nice thoughts this morning Johnny. I happy you are at peace enough with yourself to not be uncomfortable with people looking or perhaps staring.

I am reaching the point in my transition where I receive many stares and questioning looks, just being myself, I am also 6' 4", so I stand out no matter what. I smile at folks if my eyes meet theirs, and that works most of the time, yes one must accept that this is part of what comes with transition (at least for me). I don't want to be stared at really, but just being friendly with folks works, and not to let it bother me, have to.

Cindy -

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Johnny:

All is well, our brother.

Yes, we understood how you feel ... very much so. Like you do, we simply go about being ourselves. Although I don't get stared at too much anymore, when it does happen, I smile, nod and flash a peace sign. Well, 9 times out of 10, people smile back, and some return the peace sign.

It's all okay at the end of the day ... every day. You are a MARVELOUS example of our community, and don't let anybody's staring or whatever diminish your belief in yourself. Heck, man, if anybody on here should write a book, it should be YOU! What a story you have to tell! Best of all, you have the mind and words to write a GREAT book!

Stay strong, man. Stay you ... always!

Rock On Lacey Lynne

[Michelle 2010]

Well put Johnny.

When we are comfortable rather than self conscious I think it is picked up on and life goes on...

Michelle

[Guest rikkicd64]

Johnny, I ditto what Cindy and Lacey said, I am very happy for you, peace and joy to you always.

Rikki...

[Carolyn Marie]

You have a marvelous attitude about such things, Johnny, and it will serve you well now and in the future.

Those kids learned a lesseon today - that even something strange doesn't have to mean its threatening in any way. Even rural kids know what's happening in the world, they've heard of Chaz Bono and many others.

Remember that CSNY song from the 70's, "Teach Your Children?" It tells kids to "teach your parents well..." They will, and they do.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie