Something Kind Of Depressing That I Thought About...

[Guest TBForLife]

Ok when we want to be "Male" or "Female"

Why is it that a lot of people reject or deny the traits they have that are of their birth gender and not in their desired gender?

I can see rejecting breasts, or a phallus if you hate your biological sex. I hated having breasts too.

But when I was a kid I rejected anything that was the color pink. Dresses, girls toys etc.

Now that I'm a grown man and a father of a very cute little girl I play with barbies gladly and painted a whole room in my home pink for her.

Every natural man and woman has both female and male traits right?

So being a normal man would be to have female traits as well as male traits.

Like I know big biker dudes in Hells Angels who were part of my knitting forum online. Yes I knit! I suck at it but I love making anything with my hands.

I know a MTF who hunts and camps and is totally butch but shes such a lady!

My final stance is that if you want to be yourself do it.

But because you want to be a member of a gender you were not born into does not mean you have to reject all of the traits that lean toward your birth gender.

Sometimes they REALLY come in handy.

The whole point is to be yourself. Love yourself. Enjoy yourself.

Not to kill off things because they aren't of your desired gender identity.

Im a man, I love pink, I love interior design, I scream when I get something sticky on me and I knit, paint, sew, cook, have two kids and all that jazz. I don't think theres a single masculine thing about me sometimes. I just know I'm meant to be a man. I feel right this way Thats all that matters...

Oh and I look Gosh darned fine in a suit

[Guest CharliTo]

Depressing? The final point is more uplifting than you gave it credit for!

*high fives*

Yeah, I'm definitely a tomboy MTF who also looks good in suits. If I actually find certain things interesting, I go for it, guyish thing or girlish thing.

...so I can totally relate to this. ...Also, I'm finding out a lot of my guy friends are obsessed with interior design...since they're about the age they're finally getting their own apartments.

[Guest Jackson]

My therapist is really big at having her trans clients keep both masculine and feminine traits. The soul is made up of both so why deny one part of it? In terms of one's own happiness.

So, I knit too. Why? Because it's therapeutic. I've gotten more knitting done when my mental health is not the best. A friend of mine gave me some crap, joking about my knitting. I told him that I'd have the warmest feet in our reenacting unit in the winter too.

I quilt too. I've made a couple great Civil War reproduction, hand-quilted, mind you, quilts. I am not giving up these pursuits so I can fit into someone's idea of a man. I've seen some amazing quilts designed and made by bio-men.

So I really am not going to try to make other people happy. I'm just trying to make myself happy. One wool pair of socks at a time.

[Guest Christine-Louise]

I agree that you should not reject any part of your being, though I am now female I have recently made Myself a nice new trailer for My mobility scooter, I had to buy a welder and power saw to cut the angle iron with as I can't cut by hand, and I get the old I wish that I could do that from men around Me, and comments of wow your a female and you did all that, I have made a nice new box to go on it and am painting it right now, so I still do some (do it yourself) but as said I am just Me, I also make and mend some of My own clothes, so I mix and match the traits.

Anyone interested I have some pictures of the trailer chassis on My website:

http://christines-forum.info/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl

[Sally]

The world would be so much better a place if everyone realized that having male and female traits is just part of being human. I just realized from reading this post and responces why 'normal' people are afraid of us - it makes them aware of the presence of both traits in themselves! It is frightening to them and we are the ones who made them think it, so gather the villagers, bring your pitch forks and torches (we always go after monsters at night) and storm the castle! Never mind that there is no monster and of course no castle either, but we have been forced to actually feel something so somebody's going to have to pay! That's an exageration, but I think pretty much the real reason for fear and resentment. I remember in the 70s when the 'Women's Movement' was being very agressive (that was a confusing time for me, which side should I be on?) there was a very enlighten scene in an episode of McCloud. Dennis Weaver encoutered a woman who beat him in a game of pool and as he started to leave she said, "What's wrong? Am I threatening your masculinity?" His responce was, "No, why? Am I threatening yours?" If everyone could be so secure themselves, we wouldn't have any problems - admitting that you are transsexual and coming out would be so easy if not for the fear/hate reaction, which is fueled by ignorance and self doubt.

Well enough of my theory,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

I'm with Charli, what was depressing?

When I raised daughters with an ex I turned their room into the layout from girly-girl U. S. A. , I not only watched way too much Lizzy McGuire with them I built Barbie a 4 bedroom manse that should have been on MTV cribs.

I don't see where doing things with your kids though is indicative of being male or being female. Likewise, I know the difference between masculinity/ femininity and maleness/ femaleness.

I don't actually see knitting nor carpentry as "traits that lean towards genders" though. They're just actions. Anybody can do them. Now if you said have a monthly cycle? Thats something different. It something happening to a human body that is fundamentally female in a way that has nothng to do with masculinity/femininity but biology. And its the biology I have a problem with. Hence being willing (needing) to alter it biologically.

For me, its part of wanting a hysterectomy and top surgery. Those are parts that not only physically make you look like the other gender (in the case of the top) but do a body function that is too female for me to psychologically be able to deal with Its the difference between doing some act and having something built onto you . Many transgendered folk aren't dysphoric either. They feel the other gender, yet are fine in the body. Its the dysphoria of body that necessitates us to medically transition though, eh? That whole distinction between transgenderism and transsexualism.

[Guest TBForLife]

Then I guess I'm on the line there too...As far as transgenderisim/transexualisim.

I don't need/want any surgery.

I do have the dimorphism about the shape of my body. And wow I had this great dream that I just woke up from where my chest was really hairy and I was just sooooo happy mmm. K I'm a lil dreamy still its 7 am but yeah holy wow I was happy about that dream!

But honestly, my breasts are gone. I sucked it up and breast fed both my kids and now they're just gone.

Like bye bye.

I have pics up, thats me thats all natural. I sucked it up and breast fed. That's what that got me.

And as for the bottom realm? Well for health sakes a hysto would be good eventually I guess. So I'll do that down the road.

But I love the way my parts "work" I love my sex life even if it's just me and a basket full of goodies in my room. I'm addicted to sex I think. I'm pretty sure of it. I need that fix and if I've got some surgeon blocking my access to certain key "spots" with surgeries that won't give me other spots to play with I'm just toast.

I identify my parts as masculine. I know thats the head, and thats the shaft and they're just not in the places they would be if I were born male but thats ok, fun none the less let's enjoy what we have here!

Personally I need to pull the skin thats covering my little man back right now to enjoy him fully, and think a phalloplasty would be like NO. LOL. Don't cover him up!

Might love testicular implants down the road though because I feel thats lacking right now to where I want my parts to be.

I'm just happy with my self and my body right now 200% and really don't feel the need to change it any more than I have. . . well I want that chest hair LOL!

[Guest Karen-1954]

I agree with the others, nothing depressing here. We just have to figure out what traits WE like and which traits were forced on us. Finding out who you really are is a large portion of transition. Part of what makes us special as humans is our diversity. How boring would the world be if people were all the same like being made with a cookie cutter.