Coming out to my mom

[Guest Nia S]

Okay, so I REALLY want to come out to her first, but I'm way too shy. I don't know what she'll say. I want to tell her by email or something because I don't want to tell her face to face, but I don't know what to say. What should I say?

[VickySGV]

I think some of the older posts in this topic have actual letters sent to mom's and all the rest of the whole family. Give them a peek and see what you can use.

Major points need to include:

Your need to do this based on a medical condition and diagnosis.

Neither your mother or any other family are to BLAME for your having the medical condition.

The condition is NOW considered in the NORMAL range of human development.

The medical condition begins early in the pregnancy and is beyond human intervention at the present time.

You are seeking the help of fully qualified medical personnel to make your change, both psychologically and physically.

The experts you are using to help you are going to advise you how to act legally and safely immdiately and in the future.

You will continue to love your mother and wish to have her love and acceptance of you.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I could make a pretty soapy loveletter out of that outline, but you have to do some of the work!!

[Guest Nia S]

I need as much help as I can get.

[Guest Nia S]

I still don't know what to say to her. I'm so anxious about what she'll say.

[VickySGV]

I am a parent of grown children. My kids never knew what I would say about what they would say until they said what they wanted to say!! I never knew what I would say until they said what they darn well were gonna say whether they could figure out what I would say or not. See the complexity here??

Then both sides had a chance to fight and win or lose. I got into more fights with the darn kids when they thought I could read their minds and most of the time I wasn't sure they had one to read!!

This is a serious problem that you have, but your mother has no way at all of helping you, or deciding she darn well won't help you until you tell her SOMETHING. ANYTHING is better than nothing. There is no magic spell such as in Aladdin And The Forty Thieves, or Cinderella that works every time. "Bippity boppity boo!!! Just won't handle this issue.

"Mom, I have a BIG problem I need to discuss with you __________." This is a terrific opening, but not when she is tired or hopefully not high on anything or just had a fight with your grandmother. Get yourself some good resources to hand her or just your own notes on the things I noted in my first post here, and if you need to follow up with more research, so be it. Over in the teens forum are some links on stuff to download for your parents. Go over to the Parents Of Transgender Children, and see what they are talking about, they speak parent, the language your mom does.

[Guest Nia S]

Okay, I sent my mom a message...I hope this goes well.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

PLEASE let us know what happens. Do you live with your mom? We don't know too much about you, but I don't want to pry.

Anyway - good luck.

Lizzy

[Guest angels wings]

All the best Nia ((((hugs))))

[Guest Nia S]

Yeah, I live with her Elizabeth.

Thanks angels.

[Guest angels wings]

Has she received it yet Nia ???? Thinkin of u

[Guest Nia S]

Well things didn't go too well...

It went basically like this. (Not exact words)

Me: Mom, I'm transgender.

Mom: I don't wan't a daughter and I want to have grandchildren.

I'm still hoping she'll turn around or something.

[Guest angels wings]

Give your mum time . You can't expect her to jump up and down with a big smile . She has to work through her emotions . Don't give up remember this is a journey little steps. Now you have taken that big step . Step back a little and let her work it out . Wishing u all the best (((hugs)))

[Guest Nia S]

She said she's going to take me to a doctor. I'm waiting for him to get back on the island. I'm so happy!

[Guest Nia S]

I'm starting to get less and less hopeful now. She said I can't get new proper clothes until sometime after I talk to the doctor.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Keep working with your therapist.

Everything will turn out right. Please remember that those who have known you the longest have the hardest time to adjust.

Especially parents.

Brenda

[Guest Nia S]

I don't have a therapist yet. This is the first person I'm going to.