Would you share experiences with me?

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

I'm a writer and I recently started to take my effort to make a career out of writing more seriously so I started trying to write or at least research or work on topics to write about every day. I also started looking for more opportunities to submit my writing for publication. The other day I found an advert in a writing magazine for LGBT themed stories and it made me think...I write on a lot of 'human interest' type subjects and often include my own experiences in my stories like having characters with disabilities and stuff, but I have never written a trans character. It made me wonder why I've never expressed that side of me in my writing. I think maybe it's too close to home...maybe I'm afraid of how people would react to my story and therefore to me...maybe I'm afraid to be that vulnerable.

Anyway, it's something I want to change. I want to try writing a trans character in a story for the LGBT advert that I saw. I want to make the character and the story more complete and well rounded than just my own experience though (I'm very aware that I am still in the baby steps of transition) and also want to try to use humour as well as the raw and emotional side of being trans so I want to ask for your help please.

Do you have any funny experiences...or maybe any more serious ones that you think would be good to tell, that you wouldn't mind me writing into my character?

Also this is supposed, according to the advert, to be a love story, which isn't a genre I'm used to writing, so if you have any stories about things that have happened between you and a partner which are either funny or serious that you think would be good to include to show what relationships can be like for us then please share them.

Obviously my story will be pure fiction, I'm just looking for ideas of how to form my character and give them a full and interesting experience (I can write the feelings and stuff but it's the actual experiences...events that happen to them that I'm struggling with) to read about and I feel that I need more than just my own experience to do that...maybe partly to ensure that the character I'm writing is not me and therefore more comfortable to write and have people read.

Thank you

Gabe

[Guest Risu]

Hi Gabe!

I'm trying to think about what I can offer to give you a hand here. Humor isn't my thing and I haven't really had any trans related humorous experiences just yet as I am only living part time female and not full time female.

I can tell you from experience that writing about the deep emotions of a trans character can indeed be a frightening thing. It allows us to take a deeper look at our own feelings and sometimes the realizations that come from that are very powerful and moving.

I spend a lot of time writing trans fiction as a way to vent my frustrations and I can tell you that, for me, from my experiences it's usually easier emotionally on me to try and write from the perspective of the person who is Cisgendered in the story. It helps me kind of get into the head of my cis characters and (for example) figure out how a straight male might rationalize his romantic feelings for a pre-op trans woman. It's easier for me to write from the perspective of a cis person who has no clue about trans issues and then through this character's shared experiences and interactions learn about the trans experience and the feelings/emotions we go through. Feel free to PM me if you'd like some more details on this.

I think for example, trying to write from your partner's perspective Gabe, or maybe write about how a Cisfemale loves her FtM partner, how she rationalizes her feelings as either "straight" despite anatomical differences or "still lesbian" despite HRT and transition, would allow you to distance yourself a bit from your own deep emotional feelings and maybe understand your own partner a little better. It's pretty much how I write. I write from a cismale perspective and figure out how and why a straight man would still love a pre-op transwoman which helps me understand and accept my boyfriend's feelings a little better as well. I also think that writing this way will allow a greater audience of readers to understand and relate to the character more. No one who doesn't have GID will truly be able to identify with it and understand it, but write about how a straight woman meets this guy, falls in love, finds out he's FTM and instead of running away tries to learn from him and understand perhaps, how his body works in ways that are masculine despite anatomy or birth sex, or understand his feelings from a cis perspective the best a cis person can through their experiences together. Perhaps the trans character doesn't put his feelings into words so much as he shows her and thus as your cis character experiences, learns and realizes his intricate feelings, so then does your reader.

It might be easier to just start with an LGB love story as Trans love stories can be difficult to write without getting into territory the bulk of your readers may not be able to understand, or that may evoke a lot of deep, personal emotion. Trans stories also have a tendency to be a bit heavy on the drama and too much drama begins to suffocate readers.

As for experiences, I'm sure you'll probably find plenty of inspiration but if you want more details on my experiences as a pre-op MtF in a committed relationship with a straight guy I would be happy to help as best I can.

I'm not sure how much of this makes sense but I hope you find it useful. xD

*Hugs* and good luck!

~Jade.